Hi. I'm Norman. Well, that's not my REAL name, but it's what my son calls me. He's 3. Still haven't quite figured out why I'm Norman. I generally respond better to "Mommy" but Norman he calls me, so Norman I'll be. It was pretty funny the first few times he called me Norman but then he started getting wise to all the attention he was generating by calling me Norman. So it stuck. Ha ha ha still funny. Then came the trip to WalMart.
General WalMart Rules for my kids:
1. You must stay in eyesight
2. Don't tell the woman that looks like a man that she looks like man
3. Cause she's really kinda scary looking and I want to get home in one piece
So anyway, I took my son to WalMart and he immediately broke rule number 1 while I was browsing around in the clothing section. Last time I saw the little booger he was hiding in a clothes rack. He likes to hide in the racks & pop out at the people. I looked in the rack & he's not there! Well - I'm starting to hyperventilate cause I get freaky about losing my kids and by now I'm crawling around on the floor peeking under racks. Hmph. No little feet featuring light up Thomas the Tank Engine. So after diving under my upteenth rack, I hear the following announcement: Attention WalMart Shoppers. Will customer in the store, Norman, please come to the front? Your son is waiting for you.
AAAAHHHH !!! He's up front!! Yay!! So I dash up to the customer service desk, and tell them that I am Norman, and could I please have my son. Blank stare. Hello? My son? Can I have him? "Can I see some ID please?" uh oh
heh heh heh. Well, you see, my ID doesn't say I am Norman, but my son calls me Norman.
Blank stare. HELLO?? Nothing. Can't have my son cause my ID doesn't match who he says I am. So now I am explaining to Blank Stare Lady the whole story of why I'm Norman. She nods understandingly. "Yes, but I just need to see some ID". OK! Here's my ID! "I'm sorry. I don't see anything that will tell me that you are indeed - Norman"
Deep Breaths. I lean over the counter. Grit my teeth. "Open. the. freaking. door. He will tell you who I am". So the door opens, my son comes flying out of the back room gleefully shouting "NOOOOORRRMAAAANN!!!"
They let me have him.
And that folks, in a nutshell, is why I am Norman.
Now. This is my first Blog, this is my first entry. Not very exciting, but just a little background of why I am Norman. Hopefully, I can make this blog as interesting as Christine's Legendary 100 Reasons Why I Hate My Husband, but that's a pretty tall order. In fact, I'm really upset that she had to shut down for a while. I mean, what will I do after my kids are in bed now? I used to read that blog and cackle and compare it to my own husband. So now I have to entertain myself in a different way, and maybe this will do it.
Here's hoping to some bizarre stuff that I can dig up, and post.
Cheers!
Norman
From: Texas, United States
About me: I'm a mom of 3 children, ages 10, 7 and 4 years. Want to know why I'm Norman? CLICK HERE!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
I am Norman!
posted by Norman at 6:54 PM
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23 Comments:
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At Friday, December 09, 2005 8:27:00 PM,
FulltimeEverythingI understand how you feel about claiming a kid in Walmart. I lost my 3-year old just a few weeks ago, and I have never felt such overwhelming panic in my life. I have 4 kids, the oldest 9 and youngest 3 months old. After grabbing at least 3 Walmart workers, explaining I had lost her and what she looked like, searching up and down as many isles as I could run down, I hear my name across the intercom ... She was able to tell the clerk that she couldn't find me, and tell her my full name. She wasn't scared a bit, even though I felt like I was going to a heart attack. On top of the heart attack, the looks you get from the clerks are horrible. As if it's not bad enough that you panic for losing your child, but you also have to endure the convicting thoughts from those who "saved your butt". And it was not until after I'd been a mother 9 years that this would happen, you'd think I was better than that at it by now.
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At Tuesday, January 24, 2006 10:58:00 PM,
Hi, Norman,
I too am Norman. But this is not quite so unusual, since I had a
father named Norman, and have a son
named Norman. (He's a Marine, and leaves for Iraq on Feb 1. Gulp..)
I live in southern N.J., and gave up a not-even-started country music singing career for a real job
so's I could actually make enough money to feed a family. I talked to Patsy Kline in Nashville in 1969, and she said "If you really want to sing, sink your teeth into it, and don't do anything else!"
I talked to Waylon when he was singing at a local bar in 1962. He was blond, had short hair and no beard...(can you imagine?) He'd made a movie called "Green River", which I complimented him on. He told me, "That movie stunk, and I ain't gonna do that again for a long while..." He also told me what Patsy had, as did Faron Young a few weeks later in the same bar.
I was already working, and took their advice.
I discoverd Kareoke about three years ago, though, and now have my job AND the opportunity to
sing our favorite music.
I also have lost three different kids (ages 22 to 45) in large stores at different times.
Scares you to death, doesn't it?
I too, found each of them within a few minutes. Luckily none of them was calling me Betty or something.
(Sorry about going off into a 73 page 'comment', but it's 2 a.m. here in the lab, and your very entertaing note (and music preference) just set me off....
Norm -
At Sunday, September 30, 2007 1:59:00 PM,
EtoriaGreetings and Salutations!
I, too, have lost a child for a brief (but seemingly forever) moment of time. Mine event happened at a shopping mall. So, not only did I have the store we had CURRENTLY been in to search...but the entire mall! We felt blessed to be the ones to find him...in the same store...sitting on the floor reading a book. It is this SAME child that went through a (frustrating to me) stage calling me by my first name. He was only in first grade, and would introduce me... "This is my Anna." No matter how many times I would remind him, I was his "Anna". I guess I am lucky that IS my first name. And I am grateful that he outgrew that stage. What is funny, is he is now 20, and doesn't remember that situation at all.
So, Norman, keep up the good work, and worry not what the clueless, and possibly childless store workers think of you...someday (God forbid) they may experience it too...and THEN they will understand!
Happy blogging! -
At Saturday, April 18, 2015 1:25:00 PM,
You are Norman! :0)
You are Norman because you believe in GOD! That's what makes Normans so special! :0) And the Saxons eventually learned about God too, and they both grew together......
but the Norman descendants retain their firm belief in an all-loving, and all-forgiving God, so long as we do our best to do what He wants us to do.
:0)
I am not Norman but I had a kid that was fast at diving under clothes racks too. We tried the lease thing and he would simply flop on the ground like a dead fish screaming at the top of his lungs.
Christine's blog has some character but I think yours has already outdone hers. You keep me shaking my head as well as smiling. Now that is a tall order.
Take Care
Michael
PS - I play games with making up words with the word verification. Mine was JMODU. Can you guess what it means to me?