Thursday, July 21, 2005
I am Norman!
Hi. I'm Norman. Well, that's not my REAL name, but it's what my son calls me. He's 3. Still haven't quite figured out why I'm Norman. I generally respond better to "Mommy" but Norman he calls me, so Norman I'll be. It was pretty funny the first few times he called me Norman but then he started getting wise to all the attention he was generating by calling me Norman. So it stuck. Ha ha ha still funny. Then came the trip to WalMart.

General WalMart Rules for my kids:

1. You must stay in eyesight
2. Don't tell the woman that looks like a man that she looks like man
3. Cause she's really kinda scary looking and I want to get home in one piece


So anyway, I took my son to WalMart and he immediately broke rule number 1 while I was browsing around in the clothing section. Last time I saw the little booger he was hiding in a clothes rack. He likes to hide in the racks & pop out at the people. I looked in the rack & he's not there! Well - I'm starting to hyperventilate cause I get freaky about losing my kids and by now I'm crawling around on the floor peeking under racks. Hmph. No little feet featuring light up Thomas the Tank Engine. So after diving under my upteenth rack, I hear the following announcement: Attention WalMart Shoppers. Will customer in the store, Norman, please come to the front? Your son is waiting for you.

AAAAHHHH !!! He's up front!! Yay!! So I dash up to the customer service desk, and tell them that I am Norman, and could I please have my son. Blank stare. Hello? My son? Can I have him? "Can I see some ID please?" uh oh

heh heh heh. Well, you see, my ID doesn't say I am Norman, but my son calls me Norman.

Blank stare. HELLO?? Nothing. Can't have my son cause my ID doesn't match who he says I am. So now I am explaining to Blank Stare Lady the whole story of why I'm Norman. She nods understandingly. "Yes, but I just need to see some ID". OK! Here's my ID! "I'm sorry. I don't see anything that will tell me that you are indeed - Norman"

Deep Breaths. I lean over the counter. Grit my teeth. "Open. the. freaking. door. He will tell you who I am". So the door opens, my son comes flying out of the back room gleefully shouting "NOOOOORRRMAAAANN!!!"

They let me have him.

And that folks, in a nutshell, is why I am Norman.

Now. This is my first Blog, this is my first entry. Not very exciting, but just a little background of why I am Norman. Hopefully, I can make this blog as interesting as Christine's Legendary 100 Reasons Why I Hate My Husband, but that's a pretty tall order. In fact, I'm really upset that she had to shut down for a while. I mean, what will I do after my kids are in bed now? I used to read that blog and cackle and compare it to my own husband. So now I have to entertain myself in a different way, and maybe this will do it.

Here's hoping to some bizarre stuff that I can dig up, and post.

Cheers!

Norman
 
posted by Norman at 6:54 PM | Permalink |


25 Comments:


  • At Friday, October 07, 2005 8:42:00 PM, Blogger Michael

    I am not Norman but I had a kid that was fast at diving under clothes racks too. We tried the lease thing and he would simply flop on the ground like a dead fish screaming at the top of his lungs.

    Christine's blog has some character but I think yours has already outdone hers. You keep me shaking my head as well as smiling. Now that is a tall order.

    Take Care
    Michael

    PS - I play games with making up words with the word verification. Mine was JMODU. Can you guess what it means to me?

     
  • At Saturday, October 08, 2005 7:56:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    What's that mean to you???

    norm!

     
  • At Saturday, October 08, 2005 9:16:00 PM, Blogger Daydream believer

    Excellent!!!

     
  • At Monday, October 10, 2005 5:57:00 AM, Blogger Michael

    You never guessed.

    Take Care
    Michael

    ivnnblv - word verification

     
  • At Monday, October 10, 2005 3:25:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    i TRIED to guess. it hurt my brain

    norman

     
  • At Tuesday, October 11, 2005 5:57:00 AM, Blogger Michael

    It hurt my brain this morning too. It meant something to me then but for the sake of me all that comes to mind now is "I model you"

    Take Care
    Michael

     
  • At Tuesday, November 15, 2005 7:50:00 PM, Blogger yep, it's me....

    just
    my
    one
    day
    u[off]
    ;)

     
  • At Friday, November 18, 2005 5:33:00 PM, Blogger pack of 2

    That is probably the funniest stoy I have ever heard!!!

    Shelly

     
  • At Saturday, December 03, 2005 6:47:00 AM, Blogger MOVIEMAN

    That was very good. It made me laugh. It's always good to laugh.

     
  • At Friday, December 09, 2005 8:27:00 PM, Blogger FulltimeEverything

    I understand how you feel about claiming a kid in Walmart. I lost my 3-year old just a few weeks ago, and I have never felt such overwhelming panic in my life. I have 4 kids, the oldest 9 and youngest 3 months old. After grabbing at least 3 Walmart workers, explaining I had lost her and what she looked like, searching up and down as many isles as I could run down, I hear my name across the intercom ... She was able to tell the clerk that she couldn't find me, and tell her my full name. She wasn't scared a bit, even though I felt like I was going to a heart attack. On top of the heart attack, the looks you get from the clerks are horrible. As if it's not bad enough that you panic for losing your child, but you also have to endure the convicting thoughts from those who "saved your butt". And it was not until after I'd been a mother 9 years that this would happen, you'd think I was better than that at it by now.

     
  • At Sunday, January 15, 2006 4:06:00 PM, Blogger Dakini

    You re-told that entire situation so well, I had to call my husband into the room and have him read it. Thanks for blogging your story.

     
  • At Tuesday, January 24, 2006 10:58:00 PM, Anonymous Norm

    Hi, Norman,

    I too am Norman. But this is not quite so unusual, since I had a
    father named Norman, and have a son
    named Norman. (He's a Marine, and leaves for Iraq on Feb 1. Gulp..)
    I live in southern N.J., and gave up a not-even-started country music singing career for a real job
    so's I could actually make enough money to feed a family. I talked to Patsy Kline in Nashville in 1969, and she said "If you really want to sing, sink your teeth into it, and don't do anything else!"
    I talked to Waylon when he was singing at a local bar in 1962. He was blond, had short hair and no beard...(can you imagine?) He'd made a movie called "Green River", which I complimented him on. He told me, "That movie stunk, and I ain't gonna do that again for a long while..." He also told me what Patsy had, as did Faron Young a few weeks later in the same bar.
    I was already working, and took their advice.

    I discoverd Kareoke about three years ago, though, and now have my job AND the opportunity to
    sing our favorite music.

    I also have lost three different kids (ages 22 to 45) in large stores at different times.
    Scares you to death, doesn't it?
    I too, found each of them within a few minutes. Luckily none of them was calling me Betty or something.

    (Sorry about going off into a 73 page 'comment', but it's 2 a.m. here in the lab, and your very entertaing note (and music preference) just set me off....

    Norm

     
  • At Saturday, January 28, 2006 3:03:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    Hi Norm! Thanks for the comment.. I LOVE comments!

    But -- you'll have to refresh my memory (sorry!)... WHAT very entertaining note?!

    Norman!

     
  • At Thursday, February 23, 2006 11:38:00 PM, Blogger Dari

    I guess to be Norman or not to be Norman; That's the question!

     
  • At Wednesday, April 19, 2006 12:32:00 PM, Blogger alexandria

    that was the funniest shit - not about losing your kid in wal-mart, though. i remember doing shit like that to my mom, too.

    i had a great uncle norman. he rocked.

     
  • At Monday, July 24, 2006 10:25:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

    Wonderful and informative web site.I used information from that site its great.
    » »

     
  • At Wednesday, July 26, 2006 5:07:00 AM, Blogger BluJewel

    I found your blog from another blog and it's really cool. I'll check back from time to time to see what you're up to.

     
  • At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:06:00 PM, Blogger mish

    thats a great first entry! So cute and sweet. NOOORRMAAAN!!!

     
  • At Saturday, August 12, 2006 12:01:00 PM, Blogger mckay

    you must've been watching a lot of Cheers! episodes when he was a baby ;0)


    just be glad he didn't get hooked on something from Southpark.

     
  • At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:51:00 PM, Blogger Adeline

    i love this. you tell a good story.

     
  • At Tuesday, November 21, 2006 8:44:00 PM, Blogger Dayngr

    That was the best!

     
  • At Sunday, September 30, 2007 1:59:00 PM, Blogger ms_marliana

    Greetings and Salutations!
    I, too, have lost a child for a brief (but seemingly forever) moment of time. Mine event happened at a shopping mall. So, not only did I have the store we had CURRENTLY been in to search...but the entire mall! We felt blessed to be the ones to find him...in the same store...sitting on the floor reading a book. It is this SAME child that went through a (frustrating to me) stage calling me by my first name. He was only in first grade, and would introduce me... "This is my Anna." No matter how many times I would remind him, I was his "Anna". I guess I am lucky that IS my first name. And I am grateful that he outgrew that stage. What is funny, is he is now 20, and doesn't remember that situation at all.
    So, Norman, keep up the good work, and worry not what the clueless, and possibly childless store workers think of you...someday (God forbid) they may experience it too...and THEN they will understand!
    Happy blogging!

     
  • At Monday, March 23, 2009 9:14:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

    When I was a kid the highlight of our little lives was to go to the big city (pop 1
    3,000) and shop with Grandma. When my older sister and I got lost, we couldn't hear her having us paged. We were too busy loudly sobbing our hearts out.

     
  • At Tuesday, January 20, 2015 4:40:00 PM, Blogger Aaron Grey

    Hi, Nice site I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing. Would it be possible if I contact you through your email? Please email me back. Thanks!

    Aaron Grey
    aarongrey112 at gmail.com

     
  • At Saturday, April 18, 2015 1:25:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

    You are Norman! :0)

    You are Norman because you believe in GOD! That's what makes Normans so special! :0) And the Saxons eventually learned about God too, and they both grew together......

    but the Norman descendants retain their firm belief in an all-loving, and all-forgiving God, so long as we do our best to do what He wants us to do.

    :0)

     
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