Don't you hate getting embarrassed? Even the word embarrassed sounds embarrassing. Look at it:
em BARE ASS ed
Just let it all hang out baby.... you're em BARE ASSed.
I was thinking today about embarrassing moments I've had throughout my life. There was no particular reason for thinking of the embarrassments, but I was dwelling on it. Then I thought....hey - this might make for some fun posts. I was going to do the top ten...but honestly - I'm pretty hard to embarrass, so you'll have to settle for five. Deal with it. I know I am.
But to start it off, I'll give you the Fifth most embarrassing moment of my lifeThe Hummer
All right. I can tell you guys are right now in a tizzy thinking I'm going to be talking about this kind of Hummer
(reference: definition #1), but I'm not. I'm talking about the CAR.
Waaaaaay back in the 90's, Hummer's were showing up as "civilian's vehicles", after the government was thru with their military service. So when these Hummer's were coming back from the Gulf, the government was removing the specialized accessories and selling them to the public.
Now, San Antonio has a TON of military bases here, and we were always seeing "exhibits" of military paraphenalia hanging around town. We could climb on them, play on them, all sorts of crap. No big deal. It was a blast.
So one day, my sister and I were walking out of the grocery store when we saw one of the Hummer's back...fresh from the Gulf. It still had the camo paint job on it, and had chock blocks under the wheels (cause apparently, the brake systems on these things were for shit). Excited to finally see one up close, we walked up to it and cased it out. Noticing that the door was unlocked, I excitedly pulled it open and climbed on in. Gleefully, I grabbed hold of the steering wheel, and making motor sounds with my mouth, bounced around like I was driving over some pretty rough terrain.... BRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA....BBBROOOOOOOOMMMM...(yeah, I was in my early twenties at this point.)
My sensible older sister was hovering around outside checking out the vehicle, when a man came up and watched us.
"Hi!" he said, amicably.
"Hi!!!" I replied, "BRAAAAAAAAAOOOOOMMMMMMM!!! VAAARROOOOM!!!!"
"Would you please get out of my car?" was his polite request
"whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa????" was my intelligent reply, while I looked for my sister.
I saw her. She was standing by MY car laughing her frickin' ass off.
Apparently, (and I'm sure you guys have now figured this out faster than I did) this was NOT an exhibition car. It was a private car, and I got kicked out.
So. Very. Embarrassing.
Stay tuned for the Fourth Most Embarrassing Moment in Norman's Life at a later time!
p.s. I'm sure every single one of you will want to know that I have found THE PERFECT HOUSE! I put an offer on it Sunday.... and they ACCEPTED! WOOT! We close on July 2oth. I sure hope my husband likes it because he hasn't seen it yet!!! AHHAHAHAHAAAA!