Saturday, September 30, 2006
The Weekend Poll!

I had a hard time figuring out who should go up against Wayne Newton. I was thinking about having Ferris Bueller and asking "Who sang it better?", but then that's kinda tame ... and -- predictable.

I don't like being predictable. So, I give you:


Wayne Newton or THE NAKED COWBOY!!

Who would YOU rather see perform???

Who would you rather see performing?
Wayne Newton
The Naked Cowboy
Free polls from
posted by Norman at 10:53 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Friday, September 29, 2006
Again with the decisions....
My husband is being re-recruited by the same persons who interviewed him a while back for a job in San Antonio. He didn't take the job initially because they didn't offer enough $$. This time... they might.

I think this time he might take it.... which means we'll be moving. What a scary thought... even though I'd being moving back home AND away from my in-laws (which would be a HUGE bonus for ME!!)

Decisions decisions decisions...

And anyway - this is for all of ya'll!!

posted by Norman at 7:24 PM | Permalink | 5 comments
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Attention!!! ATTENTION!!!

There is a spider THIS BIG in my house.

I do NOT like this spider as it is very ugly and gives me the ooglie wooglies.

Thank you... that is all..

(awww... come on guys - you know I go to school on Wednesday nights. This was the best I could do! and it's TRUE!)
posted by Norman at 9:02 PM | Permalink | 8 comments
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
A Sticky Situation
I got to work this morning, and when I retrieved my employee badge from my purse, I noticed it was somewhat sticky. But, since I was running late - I didn't explore the problem too much. I handed it to the guard, and ignored the look he gave me when his hands stuck to the badge.

When I got to my office, I decided to look a little more closely at it. It was sticky, gummy, and sticking to all the other paraphenalia I have hanging on my lanyard. I tried to peel it apart, and finally, SMELT it. It smelt... sweet. Mystified - I grabbed my purse and decided to find out what was going on. Now - I don't carry ANYTHING in my purse that would leak, or gum things up. Generally all that's in my purse are old receipts, my wallet, a lip gloss, diapers (cause my purse sometimes doubles as a diaper bag), and loose change that floats around on the bottom of my bag.

But today, I found... a pancake. With maple syrup. And I remembered that Ethan didn't want to eat breakfast this morning, and then that all of a sudden... he was DONE! So. Let's put two and two together. Any clues on HOW that pancake got in my purse? (cue the theme song from "Blues Clues" here....) More importantly... any clues on how to get Real Vermont Maple Syrup OUT of my purse?

Let me just say... that child is so very lucky I didn't use my Vuitton today.

And when I asked him nonchanlantly how the pancake managed to get in my purse - he told me that DADDY DID IT.

So - pancakes anyone??
posted by Norman at 3:48 PM | Permalink | 14 comments
Sunday, September 24, 2006
The REAL reason why dinosaurs went ex(stink)t
I was going to post this on Monday, but I'll be really busy tomorrow, so I'll post tomorrow's post today, interrupting the Weekend Poll once more. However, Wayne Newton appears to be holding his own - so I'm not too worried about corrupting the data. However, the poll is STILL open - so don't forget to vote!

Do you consider me low-class if I find this IMMENSELY funny?

I did NOTHING this weekend. Absolutely NOTHING! And it was wonderful! Ah wait - I did do one thing:

Do you know how hard it is to paint a 1 year old's toenails? She was so excited - but she just kept wanting to touch them. Then we had to keep her still so that she wouldn't walk and track toenail polish all over the carpet - but thankfully, I used the Express Dry polish.

And let me leave you (for today) with this:

Engineer Avery (TOOT TOOT!)

***ooooooooOOOOH!!!!!! How come I can't get my stupid NOTIFICATION LIST to work? Ok - here's your notification!! I've UPDATED!

And if you get a chance - please go check out How'd I get Here?, which is also linked on my sidebar!! She's new and needs BLOGLOVE!

posted by Norman at 9:34 AM | Permalink | 8 comments
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Ready for the Weekend Poll?!
Here it is!! Now - participation is mandatory! If you are reading this - you MUST vote. This blog is all about participation....not to mention that I KNOW how many blog hits I get and I can TELL how many people vote as compared to how many DON'T. So.... since I GOTTA vote. Because I said so.

So here it is: This week's question.

Which one of these two entertainers do YOU think gets more panties thrown at them while on stage?


Who gets more panties?!
Vanilla Ice
Wayne Newton
Free polls from

So .... all I gotta say about your participation this week?? Danke Schoen!

I know. I know. I keep editing the weekend polls. But first - I must say - that Wayne Newton is ALREADY beating the pant(ies) off of Vanilla Ice. As it stands right now, Waynie boy is ahead 15-1.

Second - I did a little maintenance work on my subscription link. I was using "Bloglet" but that service sucked-ass and it never e-mailed people whenever I'd posted. So I've gone back to "NotifyList".

If you want to be Notified whenever I update - go ahead and join! It's free - it's painless - (and a little Norman secret - sometimes I e-mail info that is NOT included on the blogarooney). But that only happens once in a blue moon.

Okay. Back to the Weekend Poll!
posted by Norman at 9:11 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
What do YOU see?
Quick!!!! Look at the picture below and tell me what you see!!

You'll have to click on my comments to see the rest of this post!!

posted by Norman at 9:16 PM | Permalink | 18 comments
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Meet Ahtee Doo-Doo!!

Weeeeelll!!! Looks like I got a couple of smarty-pants reading my blog!! Calamity Jane and Ace guessed the correct character! And without knowing the book even!!! Way to go ya'll!!! Would either of you two like to move in with us so we can decipher other things that he says?

Ethan told us the book was "Scar Wars" and "Ahtee Doo-Doo" was a robot. He likes him a lot. He does NOT however, like the fair. According to Ethan, the reason why he cannot ride the fair rides is because he is "Hagernic" to them. (Allergic).

You know what? I think it's time to bring him in for a hearing test. He pronounces words just fine once you correct him on the pronunciation, but I guess it's just the way he hears it. Either way - it makes for a good giggle or two over here.

BTW - let's mark this down for a freaky OOOooOOowwweeeeeOOOOoooo thing:

Remember when I said that I know of NO ONE named "Norman", and we couldn't figure out where he came up with it? Weeeeeell... When re-asked this question just the other day, Ethan said that someone told it to him... but he couldn't tell me who. He just said "A boy here did. He whispered his name was Norman. So I called you Norman by mistake."

Now, I've got to do a genealogy of myself for my Ethnicity course I'm taking in college. I was going through some photographs that my parents have of THEIR grandparents, when I ran across pictures of the tombstones of MY grandparents. My grandparents names were written on it, with their birth and death dates of course, and underneath their names was... you guessed it: "Norman" with the dates 1926-1929.

Now, I've always heard of my Aunt Juliette who died when she was in her teens. She had a muscular deformity, and it caused her organs to function incorrectly. We're not sure what exactly the disease was, because my grandparents were rural folks, and we're also talking 1920's here... but I've never heard of NORMAN. So I asked my mother who Norman was. She said Norman is my uncle who died when he was a child. He died long before she was born, and for some reason - the family just never talks about him. Huh. I'm 36 years old and I've NEVER heard of Norman.

So: OOOOoooOOOowwwweeeOOOOOO or just plain ol' coincidence?

Supernatural Norman!
posted by Norman at 4:40 PM | Permalink | 9 comments
Monday, September 18, 2006
A little bit of a quiz for you
My son Ethan, the one who named me NORMAN, almost stumped me yesterday. We were driving in the car, and he was chattering about his new school. He's very excited about the new school. Especially since they read stories!! And he's COMPLETELY infatuated with a new character in one of these stories: Outtie Doo-Doo!

Me: "Who?"

Ethan: "Outtie Doo-Doo!!"

Me: "Who's Outtie Doo-Doo?"

Ethan: "He's in the book the teacher is reading!! Outtie Doo-Doo!! Max's dad gave him an Outtie Doo-Doo and Max brought it to school. I want an Outtie Doo-Doo too, and my birthday is coming!! Mommy, will you get me Outtie Doo-Doo for my birthday?"

Me: (trying to figure this out, cause for the life of me - Outtie Doo-Doo sounds like a children's suppository) "Uhhhh... what does Outtie Doo-Doo DO??

Ethan: "You know!! He goes BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP!! Can I have one!!?"

And you gotta know. He's sooooooo excited about Outtie Doo-Doo. His little face is just lit up while talking about Outtie Doo-Doo that I just HAVE to try to get him one. Whatever it is.

And then it hit me to ask him the name of the book. Which he told me, and THEN I figured out who Outtie Doo-Doo is.

But just for fun, can YOU figure it out?? I'll tell you tomorrow (but only if you leave me your best guess that is.... yeah - that's another "Famous Shameless Norman's Plea for blog participation!!)

So - leave your guesses in the comments section!! I'll have the answer for you tomorrow!

Oh - and OBVIOUSLY Vanilla Ice won the weekend poll... 30 votes to 4 that people would rather admit to listening to him versus the dreaded K-Fed!! So the poll is OFFICIALLY closed until next weekend - with a new contender, and a new question!! Get your voting finger ready!


SIGH My husband has informed me that I have MISSPELT "Outtie Doo-Doo". The correct phoenetic pronunciation he says should be "AHttie Doo-Doo". Well excuse me. (Rolling my eyes) I heard OUTTIE DOO-DOO. I would ask Ethan for a clarification on his little "Ethanism", but he's still asleep. So I'll just do this little edit and tell you he either said "Ahttie Doo-Doo" or "Outtie Doo-Doo". I'll post the answer after work!! But don't forget, Blogger has a scheduled 15 minute outage today at 4pm PST. I hate it when they do that.
posted by Norman at 7:44 PM | Permalink | 9 comments
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Teasin' the carnies!! (Drunk blogging post)
GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT!!! I'm a dirty ho-bag!!!!!


Why don't carnies have teeth? Is that a job requirement? I mean - if I were to run away and join the travelin' carnival - would I have to take out a couple of my teeth with a ball peen hammer and somehow try to age my skin to resemble gnarled old tough leather??? Where do they find these people!! At any rate - all these people are EXTREMELY talented. They have this ability to separate me from my money. Or rather, they are able to charm my children into thinking that JUST ONE MORE TOSS OF A WIFFLE BALL will guarantee them taking home a ginormous stuffed animal that will never ever in a million years fit in the trunk of our car. 'Course - that one toss of the wiffle ball costs $650.33 dollars. (well -really, just $5.00 ... but I'm just sayin'!)

But actually - my two older children were scammed by the "basketball toss" game. All you gotta do is shoot a ball into the basket right??? How hard can THAT be? Then they hand you playground balls, as opposed to genuine basketballs, and the children watch with dismay as the balls ricochet merrily off the hoops and careen off into the crowds. However, this little particular carnie drew us in with the promise of "THREE SHOTS FOR FIVE BUCKS!!" and my two little suckers were reeled in, along with the hooks and sinkers. Cause - damn.... they got a basketball hoop in the backyard and THEY COULD DO THIS!! (that was their plea to me so I would fork over the money...except they didn't say "damn" 'cause you know... they're kids and all). Anyway - the carnie man decided that he would further sweeten the pot and tell us that no matter if we made a basket or not - he would give us ONE toy. Well... the hook was now set. Ethan took one shot - Ashton took two. Since she was last up - Ashton decided she would pick out the toy. Ethan - however, did not understand that ASHTON took the ONE toy, and not him. He began to dissolve into the teary heartbreak that only a four year old can do . I leaned over him at about the same time the carnie dude tried to explain that he could only charity out one toy per shill. Only - I leaned over first, and my shirt gaped open.

I heard the carnie say this: "Hey little guy... I'm sorry I couldn't give you a tooooooy..........I....can........only.............give.... ..... you....... " I glanced at him to find out why he was talking in slo-mo and happened to catch his eyes riveted on MY BOOBS!!!!! So I jerked to an upright position, and he continued on in now fast-motion while he grinned at me "onetoykidMaybeyourmomwantstogivemeanotherfivedollarstoletyoutryagain". And that's when my husband leaned in and called me a dirty ho-bag for teasing the carnie.

And that nasty man kept GRINNING at me like he thought I did it on PURPOSE!! And do you know what the toy was???? It was some stupid little beanbag animal that's about the size of a quarter!! I paid FIVE DOLLARS for that!! And I whored out my tits at the same time!!! ....

And that's why my hubby called me a dirty ho-bag - but he was laughing anyway and said it made his night to watch the carnie want what he's got. Yeah. Like I'm some kind of prize or something.

Shouldn't tease the carnies.

>>> I'll have ya'll know that the above post is what I like to call a bit of DRUNK BLOGGING. See, I was so distressed last night when I showed off my goodies that I had to have a margarita when I got home, and well - the post above is the result of that. Yes -- I know that I'm interrupting the weekend poll (again), but it's MY blog so: NEENER NEENER NEENER!! Besides - it looks like Vanilla Ice is running away with all the votes, and all I gotta say about that is THANK GOD!!! It was my own stupid fault for digging up K-Fed and I can't BELIEVE he's been on my poll twice now. OK. If you haven't voted yet - the poll is still going until I officially close it, which will be sometime tomorrow. So GO GUYS!!! Vote! <<<<<
posted by Norman at 9:25 AM | Permalink | 13 comments
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Return of the Weekend Poll!

The weekend poll!! And remember - participation is MANDATORY, especially in light of last week, which demonstrated a severe decline in the comments. Now - I'm no dummy. Lack of comments = you guys just didn't like what I posted. And that tells me that if no one likes my posts, I'm basically just talking to myself, and that's no fun. So maybe I should just shut down, but the idea of deleting this blog is sad to me. (I'm actually just talking out of my ass here, kinda thinking out loud if you will.... I just read Tammy's post from Friday, and I promise I'm not trying to get people to say "No Norman!! Don't shut down!!) I would hate to do that, but if I'm no longer posting - why take up blogspace? Decisions decisions decisions. Anyway - here's the weekend poll!! Remember you MUST vote for one of them:

That's K-Fed going head-to-head with Vanilla Ice!! Remember him?

So here's the question:

Which one would you admit to listening to?
Vanilla Ice
Free polls from

Have fun!!

posted by Norman at 7:59 AM | Permalink | 7 comments
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Reverse Fartology
I ate beans for lunch yesterday. Then I had them for dinner as well. And again for lunch today. Hey. It's good protein. But it does lend itself to a little poot affliction that I'd rather not have. Especially since we are in the middle of doing presentations, and we've brought in a special guest presenter who was camping out in my office. The poots were running rampant in my intestinal tract, and I was desperately trying to squash the urge. (Pucker factor in full force!!!)

Oblivious to my discomfort ('cause I'm female and am able to mask the symptoms well), our guest presenter decides to hang over me at my desk while looking at something on my computer screen. Mind you - I've got a 24" widescreen monitor. There is no reason why he needs to stand so close to me (hang on a sec while I groove to the Sting song I just paraquoted)... 'kay - I'm back. Anyway - so this dude is hanging over me, when a particularly strong gust of gas stages a surprise attack and tries to break out. Uh uh... I've got STRONG tummy muscles and I quashed the biohazard. But that was a hard one to stop and I realize... i KNOW that I must find a way to get him away from me!! NOW!! But in the meantime, the strong gas cloud within decided to beat a hasty retreat and slunk back to where it came. I was relieved --- for about 5 seconds. Because it DID NOT GO AWAY SILENTLY!! It made a REVERSE FARTING SOUND. I swear - it sounded like a dadgum geyser going off in my intestines. A little fist shaking of the foiled farts if you will. My office guest tried to be gentlemanly, but he couldn't help the instinctive recoil and amazed look that flashed across his face. I tried to pass it off as a mere little stomach rumble, but I KNOW he thought I farted. And I technically DIDN'T. 'Cause we all know women don't fart. We poot. And I didn't poot either. It was an internal one. Couldn't be helped, and more importantly - COULDN'T BE STOPPED.

So I'm mildly mortified. But I bet I would have been massively humiliated if that sneak attack the gas staged had been successful.
posted by Norman at 6:01 PM | Permalink | 12 comments
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Just a little something
Why O why must the adhesive on pads be so very sticky? It makes me cry.

Thanks. That's all the time I have tonight.
posted by Norman at 7:31 PM | Permalink | 7 comments
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
**chirp chirp chirp**

Sorry for the prior sucky post.

But I'm leaving it up anyway!

I think I'll just sit here and listen to the sound of the crickets chirping while I try to find something blogworthy. But don't forget!! I go to school on Wednesday nights - so chances that I'll have a fun post up before Thursday are NIL!

So ... see ya on Thursday!
posted by Norman at 9:01 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Monday, September 11, 2006
Phil Vassar Rules
Hey, this is God
Can I please have your attention
There's a need for intervention
Man, I'm disappointed in what I'm seeing
Yeah, this is God
You fight each other in my name
Treat life like it's a foolish game
I'd say you've got the wrong idea
Oh, all I'm asking for is love
Well I've seen you hurt yourselves enough
Oh, I've been waiting on a change in you
Yeah, this is GodI've given everything to you
But look at what you do to the world that I created
This is God
What's with this attitude and hate
You grow more ignorant with age
You had it made, now look at all you've wasted
Oh, all I'm asking for is love
Oh, I've seen you hurt yourselves enough
Oh, I've been waiting on a change in you, yeah
I know your every thought, your heart and soul and every move
There are so many consequences to the things you do
All I'm asking for is love
Haven't you hurt yourselves enough
Oh, I've been waiting on a change in you
A change in you, oh
This is God

If you want to hear the actual song, just search for the .mp3 on Google.

No guys. I'm not getting all "Bible-Thumpy" on you. I just like the message that this song gives. Especially today.

I consider today a day of Thanksgiving for myself. I am thankful that I still have my brother. Five years ago today - my brother left his office for a meeting on the other side of the building that he worked in. Ten minutes later, an airplane crashed into the space that he had just occupied. My brother works at the Pentagon.

I still get angry when I remember the footage of Middle Eastern people cheering and applauding when they got the news of the terrorist attacks, and I still tear up when I see the footage of the airplanes going into the buildings. I remember the fear I felt that day, as my job shut down, and we were all sent home. It was surreal to see the guards on full alert, with their weapons on the ready and the solemn looks on their faces. I never want to go thru that again.

I heard this weekend that Yusef Islam is releasing an album of his greatest hits. Perhaps you know this person better as Cat Stevens? I am skeptical of this release. Didn't he previously mention that his former line of work went against the teachings of Islam? Didn't he advocate the 'death sentence' of Salmon Rushdie for his book, "The Satanic Verses"? I believe he did. So then why, is he all of a sudden going against the teachings of Islam to release this album? Make your own conclusion about what he will do with his profits from this album. I know I won't be purchasing it.
posted by Norman at 4:04 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Saturday, September 09, 2006
"part two" sorry for the delay
What I've held out on you:

I haven't really mentioned this, because I didn't want to come across as some whack-job. But the fact that someone at work mentioned that it might be ME that's haunted, has made me wonder.

Sometimes I just know things. I'll wake up in the morning and KNOW. It doesn't matter what it is I know. It's lots of different things. But the point of that statement, is the things I know - always happen. It's somewhat unnerving. I've even been guilty of calling in sick to work when it's something work-related that I just don't want to deal with. (Sadly - I didn't 'listen' to the knowing on Thursday, and I'm surely paying for it now....) But let me back up a bit.

Some of you are familiar with the fact that my brother is dead. He died when I was 11, just two days after Christmas. That day is burned in my brain forever. I also remember when I woke up that morning. I woke up early, after having a dream of my brother. He and his friend were waving at me. And then they walked away. When I woke up, I had tears on my cheeks, and it was about 6:45 in the morning. My brother died at about 6:35am. My mother also woke up early, and it's fair to say we were all a little off-kilter that morning. Looking back now, I think we all "knew" something was wrong.

I don't dream often, or if I do - I don't remember it. A dream has to be exceptionally vivid for me to recall it upon awakening. A few years back, I had a dream about my grandmother. It was a very simple dream. It was a dark area, and my grandmother was the only one there. She looked as she had before she got Alzheimer's. She was sitting there, and I remember saying "Memere?" as if to make sure it was really her. She smiled at me, and nodded her head - but she never said anything. But I remember the look of happiness on her face as she gazed at me. And that was the extent of the dream. I remember feeling elated to see her, as she had died in 1993, and to the best of my recollection, I had never dreamt of her ever before. It was so nice seeing her. This dream was so realistic, that I called my mother the next morning, and said "Guess who I saw last night!!! Memere!" My mother was silent. I could tell she thought I lost my mind. "It was so real Mom! It made me feel as if it was actually her!" "Well, that's nice," said my mother quietly. I wondered if I had made her feel sad, since this was her mother I was talking about, so I changed the subject.

The next morning, my father called and told me that my other grandmother had passed. When I went to my parent's house, my mother pulled me aside and said "Remember what you told me yesterday? Well, I think maybe your Grandmother came for her. They were good friends in life, and I think she stopped by to visit you on her way to get your father's mother." I just stood there. My mother continued on, "Your grandmother had the ability to tell when family members would die. She used to wake up in the morning and tell us that someone would die that day. Sure enough, before the day was over - we would have received word that someone close to us had passed. I think she came to get your grandmother, and I think she stopped by you to try to comfort you. I think you have your grandmother's gift." I said, "No offense, mom - but I hope I don't see Memere again." And the conversation was over.

That was a surreal day for me. But little things like that have always happened. I've got lots of little "strange" things that can't be explained, but not enough time or organization to list them all here. But I wonder. If it's not my house, then IS it me? Can I be one of those persons that's just more "tuned in"? If I am, then I don't mind telling you guys that there's NO FREAKING WAY that I'll ever try to 'develop' this ability. That would be even scarier than what happens now. I'm going to try to do what "Amy" has said, and try to tune it out. Because as entertaining as it is for you guys to read about the ghostly stuff, it's going to drive me nuts.

So what do ya'll think? Is it me, is it my house, or I am just insane ?(like Christine says).
posted by Norman at 2:07 PM | Permalink | 19 comments
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Semi-ghost post with a THEORY!
I was at work today, just minding my own beeswax - when someone popped their head around the corner and said "Hey! Aren't you the one with the haunted house?!" So I told them yes, and they promptly started laughing at me. But see, my office opens up to a break room (shut it... I'm a peon) and some other people in there told this guy that he should actually HEAR my stories. Because - see, I tell you guys my ghost posts, but YOU don't see ME actually freaked out about it. So usually, whenever something happens over here, I blog about it, but I'm still really unnerved and skittish for a couple days afterwards. Of course I talk about it at work. And you know what?? A lot of people BELIEVE me. You can tell when someone is laughing at you by the look on their face. But the majority of the people usually pop out with an "unexplained" occurence of their own as soon as I finish telling them what happened. They are the ones that believe me. Also - as someone pointed out to this guy today, I'm not claiming that I'm actually SEEING the damn thing... other than ONE time where there was a shadow that remained in my room after turning on the light, but I do claim to hear it. And my stories aren't waaaay out there. I try to relate to you the way things actually occurred. But anywho - this guy told me to humor him, and make him a believer. So I began. I opened my gab and told him about my kids being frightened, and asking about the angry man. I told him about the coffee and the syringes. I told him about the footsteps and the shadow and ALL the other stuff I have in my ghost posts. Heck - I even threw in some crap that happened to me when I was a kid - that I didn't remember until I started talking. Well, about this time (and right as I was talking about the stuff when I was a kid), this other person, that was listening in asked me if I had considered the fact that maybe it's not my house that's haunted... but me. Because, as she pointed out - it's too coincidental that two houses I've lived in have had things occur. Hmmmm. I've never considered that.

Now I told you guys about the Ouija board (oh shit. I typed Ouija. Now I'm gonna have even MORE hits for people looking for a frickin' Ouija board.) incident where the candle blew up while we were using it. I remember telling you about that. But did I tell you about the keys that vanished? No? I don't believe I have. The year was 1979.

(start the dream sequence wavy lines that show up on tv when they reminince)

Wow!! It's 1979 and about 7:30am. My sister and I are eating breakfast, and my mom is acting like a crazy woman trying to get us to hurry up so we won't be late for school. You should see her!! hahahahaaaa!!! I'm burbling my milk in my glass, because it grosses out my sister, and she's chewing up her food and showing it to me because THAT grosses ME out. And then my mom comes walking in and yells at us. "Hurry up! We're going to be late!" As she's crabbing at us, she grabs for the keys that are hanging on the wall. She misses them, and we all watch them fall to the floor behind the buffet. "Dammit!" she yells. My sister and I make big eyes at each other because she's cussed. Now my mom is huffing and puffing and trying to yank this piece of furniture away from the wall to retrieve the keys... only they're not there. "What the ....?" but she doesn't finish because she already knows we're going to repeat the "dammit" word to my dad. She pops up and checks on top of the buffet, to see if they are sitting under the toaster. No keys. "This is crazy!" she mutters and checks underneath the buffet once more. No keys. And now we have no keys to the car. HAHAHAA!!! My sis and I are stoked - cause we think that means we don't have to go to school (no keys equals no car equals no ride...) but she calls the neighbors and we leave. Meanwhile - she's waking up my brother and having him take apart the buffet to see if somehow, someway they fell INSIDE of it. No keys. He thinks she's insane. She's wondering if she is as well.

(start the dream sequence wavy lines to show that the memory is over)

ah... Here we are back in good old 2006. Wasn't that a freaky memory?! It really happened! Years later, we were getting the rugs replaced in the house, and my mother watched them pull up the carpet in that room to see if they had somehow fallen UNDER the rug. (Yeah, she was grasping for straws at this point) But they weren't there, and we never found them. Ever. The guy I was telling this too didn't believe me, so you know what we did? I called my mom, put her on speaker phone, told her there were about 5 people listening, and to tell them the key story. So she did. EXACTLY AS I'VE JUST TOLD YOU HERE.

This guy is now a believer. Because he said there was no way I could have made up that story on the spot and had my mother re-tell the same story. And after she told the story is when my co-worker suggested that it was ME that's haunted.

And I think it makes sense. Because guys.... I've held out some information on you.

But I'll tell you later and let YOU decide for yourselves.

posted by Norman at 7:08 PM | Permalink | 13 comments
Monday, September 04, 2006
CRIKEY! I'm sad.

RIP. I'm very sad. I just thought he was such a fun person to watch. 'Course, I also thought he was insane ... but fun to watch. His poor family. His poor kids.
posted by Norman at 1:05 PM | Permalink | 6 comments
Sunday, September 03, 2006
We interrupt this Weekend Poll:
Some guy got shot the other night here in Amarillo. Now - we're not like those BIG TOWNS where somebody gets shot every night. Nope. Shootings here generally make big news. Just like this one. So this guy gets shot at one of the "IT" places to be. But I'm not just blogging about the shooting. I'm blogging about this guys REACTION to being shot. The injured man has definitely earned my respect as someone I should strive to be. When he got shot - he fell into the bar, where about 50 nurses happened to be, and he received immediate help. However, he was concerned about the patrons being worried about him so he waved and smiled at people as he was laying there on the floor. Might I add that this guy was shot in the back, and the bullet has lodged next to his spine in an inoperable location, so he will have this lump of lead in him forever??? This will be such a headache for him in the future if he ever tries to fly, since bullets are not allowable on planes...hahahaha... but I digress.

Anyway - the newspaper asked for a quote from him about the youths (19 year olds) that shot him and he said "My heart goes out to those kids. I know they probably were just troubled. They were real young," "I'm OK. I don't want anyone to worry about me. God was with me." (That's the link to the news article). And that's what he said. Now see. This is where this guy and I are different. First - if I had been shot, I wouldn't be laying on the floor concerned about others. Let's do a fictional account of what would have happened had this been me:

(Gunshots: BLAM BLAM BLAM!)


See? That's how I would handle this situation. And then if a reporter asked for my take later in the day?

"you get those assclowns here and I'll show them a little payback.....BLAMMITY BLAM!!"

yeah. This guy's a waaaaaaay better person than I am.

*************NOW BACK TO THE POLL!!! As I type this, K-Fed and Britney are tied NECK & NECK!! WOW!! Wonder what life is like at their house?? Keep voting!!! I'll announce the "winner" tomorrow!
posted by Norman at 1:17 PM | Permalink | 2 comments
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Weekend Poll Time!

Which one is the bigger attention whore?
K Fed
Free polls from
posted by Norman at 2:44 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Friday, September 01, 2006
I saw something new today!
I was at work, walking between buildings when I got the feeling I was being watched. So I started to slowly scan the grasses around me, because you can never be to cautious when it comes to snakes. But it wasn't a snake I saw. It was a teeny little furry baby bobcat. About 10 feet away from me. Stalking me. Now obviously - I'm not afraid of a 7 inch high little kitty with no tail.... but I was afraid of the mommy. Who was no where to be SEEN, but this probably explained the watched feeling. So this baby bobcat is somewhere tonight - feeling superior because he ran off a big human. Yup. I sprinted. Now - this little bobcat family is probably the explanation for the absence of attack rabbits that I've noticed in the past two weeks.

Well guys! It's Friday - and it's a 3 day weekend for me! What's better to do on a Labor Day weekend than to GRILL! So Norman is grilling tonight!!! And I've decided to share my marinade recipe for you. We're having boneless grilled pork chops, and they are mmmmmmmYUMMY!

Go ahead and try it. You won't be sorry!

You'll need:

1 cup Mayonnaise (NOT Miracle Whip... gross)
2 Tbsp lime juice
2 Tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
2 cloves finely chopped garlic
1 tsp. chipotle chili powder

Now - here's the secret. Blend those ingredients together, and set HALF of it aside. Put it in the 'fridge, and serve it along with your chops once you're done grilling.

With the half that you have left over, do this: Take your pork chops (preferably boneless, and thick enough to grill) and place them in a large ziploc bag. Throw the mixture in the bag with the chops and smoosh everything around, until the chops are covered with the mixture. Then stick it in the fridge and let it sit for a few hours, until you are ready to grill. Then just grill your chops like usual. When you serve it, servce it with the other half of the mixture that you set aside. WAAAAAAY delicious!

So anyone want to share their favorite marinade with us? Post it in the comments!

The weekend poll is coming tomorrow. Anyone have any suggestions for the K-Fed contenders?
posted by Norman at 3:54 PM | Permalink | 5 comments
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