I was reading my November blog to see how this year's Thanksgiving stacked up against last year's T-giving when I ran across this particular post. Realizing that I will probably NEVER top this post, I decided to do the lazy thing, and just recycle this post in honor of last year. It really was the most fun I ever had shopping. Hope everyone had a great Turkey Day!!!
Every year, I have made it a POINT to avoid the much-hyped "Black Friday". I refuse to drag my lazy ass out of bed at 4:00am and shiver outside of a friggin' STORE just to get the best deals. I have made it a POINT to not have to battle the ad-waving people scrambling through the newspaper flyers, plotting out my next shopping hit while I wait for 2 hours in the cold. It's a POINT. A point about what - I'm not too sure, but it's a point. My sister, however, raises no points and decided to drag me on her shopping excursion.
The phone calls began at 3:30am,
evil sister: "Wake up!! We gotta go!!!"
evil sister: "WAKE UP!!! I'M COMING OVER"
me: "go fuck yourself"
Mom: "that's nice"
me: "oh .... oops!!! "
Mom: (clearly miffed) "Your sister would like to go shopping"
me: "tell her to go fuck herself"
evil sister: (taunting me) "Mom's really mad at you!! hahaha!! I'm the better daughter!!"
evil sister: "you didn't hang up. You just SAID click"
me: "it was a hint"
me: "You're going to wake the kids up beeeeyotch!!"
Dad: "Your mother said your language was terrible."
me: "awwww SHIT!"
dad: "Young lady. we did not raise you to talk like that..."
Me: "You also didn't raise me to wake up at ungodly hours to go spend my freaking MONEY!!"
Me: *click* .... WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM (<--- that's me whamming the phone down repeatedly)
me: "I'm taking the phone off the hook now"
evil sister: "No!! Wai------"
****sound of the phone being laid off the hook****
So then I slept in until 5:30am. At which point Avery decided it was a FANTASTIC time to watch 'toons. And she woke up the other two hooligans. I hung out with them for a while and drank coffee and pondered the idea of beginning my shopping. I mean.... every other year - my hubs and I have dropped the kids off with my mom and done a Shopping Blitz, finishing all of our gift-buying in one day. But then I remembered that MY HUSBAND DOES NOT LIVE HERE ANYMORE. So maybe it WOULD be a good idea to take advantage of the fact that I have people willing to watch my children (oh - and yeah, my husband was here this weekend for T-Giving) while I do my shopping.
I called my evil sister about 9:00am. And begged her forgiveness for my earlier rudeness. She was kind of miffed at me since she missed out on the "early bird" specials, but we agreed on a more (civil) time to meet up and we went a-shopping.We started out at Best Buy, where I bought a couple of photo printers, that are normally $150, for $49.95. So I was happy with that - and ready to go home... but my sister really really REALLY wanted to go to Target. And that is where I lost all my money.
I hate Target mainly because I want to buy everything in that store. And Friday - I actually TRIED to buy everything in that store. Whatever I didn't buy - my sister did. We quite literally filled up my car until nothing else would fit in it. We left my house at 10:00am, and I didn't get back home until 8:00pm. I distinctly remember telling my husband that I would be back at the house by 12:00. Apparently, I didn't specify 12:00am or 12:00pm, and his mistake was in not asking me to clarify. Either way - I wasn't in too much trouble. And he hasn't checked the bank account lately because I'm still alive. But the majority of our shopping is DONE!! But I digress!!
We spent the majority of our day at Target. I think around 3:00pm, I realized I was seriously broke, but was unwilling to call it a day. I kept eyeballing the contents of my cart and pulling things out, calculating, recalculating, and then shoving everything back in going "To hell with it!! This is CHRISTMAS!!"
I was hanging out by the vacuum cleaners, eyeballing the Dyson's. Particularly the Purple one called the "Animal" (Spicy Cracker
told me the Animal is wonderful!!), when I found it.
Know what I found? I found one of the Target Employees little walkie-talkies. I have never had so much friggin' fun in my life!!!! I picked it up, and turned it on. Pushed the little button, and began talking as if I was a Target Employee:
ME: "Hey Guys!! The boss says that if we get our areas zoned, we can leave EARLY!!"
The channel went silent for a minute, and then chatter picked up on the radio.
TARGET People: "FOR REALS??"
Me: "Nah - I'm just jacking with you"
TARGET People: "It's not funny. Give me a price check..."
Me: "Price check? Sure! Go ahead"
TARGET People: "How much are the TrueTech Digital Photo Frames"
Me: "Damned if I know. Why don't you just give it to them for $25?"
TARGET People: ".....$25? They're like... usually $110...."
Me: "Well.. the price today is $25"
TARGET People: "Who is this?"
Me: "I'm a customer. I found the radio, but I'm coming over to get my digital photo frame for $25"
TARGET People: "You're a guest and you have a radio? "
Me: "Yeah. I found it. This is pretty cool"
TARGET People: "Well, could you please bring the radio to guest services?"
Me: "No I don't think I want to"
TARGET People: "Well, you have to."
Me: "Hey. Finders keepers and all that... can I have a photo frame for $25?"
TARGET People: "Where are you?"
Me: "I'm over in housewares right now, but I'm walking really really fast, cause now I have to move"
TARGET People: "You know security can see you from their little bubble cameras"
Me: "Okay... I'll give you your radio... but can I have a photo frame for $25?
Target person tapping me on the back.... "No, but thank you for finding our radio..."
Then my sister made us leave.
But that's what she gets for making me go shopping the day after Thanksgiving.