Thursday, August 05, 2010
So this actually happened a couple of months ago, and I shared it on my facebook account, but I wanted to go less than a year between posts so I thought I'd share....

Tonight, Avery and I were looking at pictures on the computer, when she heard a tree branch hit the window next to us. At least... I knew it was a tree branch. SHE didn't know what it was. "What was that!?" she gasped. "What was what?" I said (although, I really knew what the noise was, I was just trying to freak her out)

With big round eyes, she leaned forward and excitedly whispered, "Was it the LordmyGod?!"

I started laughing.

"No Mommy! I think it was the LordmyGod because teacher said he'd come back and we need to let him into our hearts and homes!"

and with that she ran to the door to fling it open.

But our neighbor was there instead with his hand raised to knock on the door. He's here to take Chad to the bar for some game they're going to watch.

I'm guessing he's not Jesus.
posted by Norman at 7:43 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Thursday, May 13, 2010

it's been a year? A YEAR? I haven't posted in a YEAR? WTF is wrong with me?!

So...not too sure who is still out there in bloggerland since I made the jump to that addictive hellhole they call FaceBook, but hey - I'm alive.

I'm reluctant to cancel this blog or delete it. I was just going thru some of my old posts and had to wipe a tear.. *sniff sniff*

So I'm posting. :) YAY!!

Not too much has happened in the last year. I'm still working at the acronymed insurance company...they haven't fired me yet! That earns a big ol' WOOT!

I'm a little bit scared of the upcoming weekend, Ashton has decided that she will be having a slumber party and invited 10 girls.

Let me repeat that: 10 girls.

Of course, she didn't clear this with me yet. So now she's walking around all mopey-like because I had something she called a conniption. Or however you spell it.. She'll deal with it...

But at anyrate, I did tell her she had to whittle that list down to something a little more manageable and she trimmed it from 10 to 9. Nice.

So maybe I'll have a workable post here in the next couple of days.

If not - I'll tell you guys my scorpion story :)

posted by Norman at 7:37 PM | Permalink | 6 comments
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
****waves frantically*****




got nuttin' to say


Except - I'm trying to learn Spanish using Rosetta Stone.

Apparently - I no habla very well. I think I'm pissing off the computer voice with my pronunciation.

Hopefully he'll get over it.

Like i said............i got nuttin'
posted by Norman at 8:47 PM | Permalink | 6 comments
Thursday, March 05, 2009
useful tool, eh?
So the black tongue thing has its uses.

Oh sure. The color actually did fade away like the website said it would, but in the meantime I had a great time screwing with my kid's head's.

I told Avery that if she didn't listen to me, I would turn into a monster. To prove it, I showed her my tongue.


So now, all I have to do if the child misbehaves is pop a pepto and presto! Instant behavior modification!

Simply awesome.
posted by Norman at 8:22 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
So "Anonymous" is making me blog because they (he??? she??? heshe??) said they miss me.

Wanna know what yer missing?

Black tongue

Oh yeah. Yummy

This morning, I was brushing my teeth. I stuck out my tongue & was instantly transfixed/horrified/disgusted by a seemingly black growth roosting on my tongue.

Initiate screaming freakout right here

I flew down the stairs shrieking for my husband. He came running up the stairs and crashed into me in my headlong flight downstairs.

"What's wrong!? What happened!?" he yelled
"OHMIGODOMIGOD LOOKATMYTONGUE !!! LOO AH MAH TONNNN!!!! " I screeched back, simultaneously jammed it out of my mouth for him to observe.

Theoretically - I was hoping he would comfort me and offer some insight as to what the hell was going on.

Instead - he freaked out as well.

Which didn't help matters.

So I did another lap around the house and ended back upstairs clutching a bottle of clorox. Just as I was about to gargle STRAIGHT BLEACH (well...maybe not really, but you get the idea), he came pounding back upstairs and demanded to know if I had taken Pepto Bismol lately.

well....yeah.... I took some last night due to the incessant heartburn my job is causing me. I popped two of the tablets last night & went straight to bed.

APPARENTLY, this is a side effect of which I had NEVER heard of, and had definitely NEVER experienced.

How can such a pretty color tablet make such a nasty color on my tongue? But apparently that is what the cause is, and I'm stuck with a black tongue for the next 2-3 days. If the color doesn't fade, I'm to call a doctor.

Which was good information to know, since I then didn't have to gargle with clorox.

See what you're missing?
posted by Norman at 5:15 PM | Permalink | 7 comments
Sunday, January 25, 2009
A little PSA from Norman
Hey !

So APPARENTLY...someone is running up charges on my debit card. Luckily - my bank put a fraud stop on my card, but all day today - I saw different charges come in for products & services that I did not ask for.

They are signing me up for the coolest things though...things like iTunes, Netflix, AARP (?? a geriatric thief?)... Proactiv ( a geriatric thief with ACNE??)

Thankfully - I've already been signed up for a pre-paid identity theft service which had better pull through for me or I'll be mightly pissed....

but honestly kids - check your spam filters & monitor emails that say: "We've received your order" or "We received your request for an account".

While most of those are phishing scams, this one was actually true because I noticed it had my whole name & my old address listed on it.

The bank is working on this like a champ though, and I've already started a claim with them. It is pretty scary though. When I checked my email tonight, I had 4 different emails from different companies saying "We sorry we couldn't process your request for Proactiv because your card has been declined " ( sorry my pimple popping thief will be declined their monthly ration of Proactiv)

But just a little PSA, pay close attention to your emails and your bank charges. If you can check your debit charges online, do it frequently.... So far - they've only made off with about $200, and my bank will give it back to me... but they did say they've seen a huge increase in this within the last few months.

So Beware!!!

(p.s. Maybe it's the woman I wouldn't put into an SUV? But just to be mean I DID go back and approve her for a minivan...MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!)
posted by Norman at 8:17 PM | Permalink | 7 comments
Friday, January 23, 2009
it's time for that southern trip in the handbasket again

I'm not thrilled with my job. But right now I feel locked into it because of the stupid economy. I'm hearing horror stories left and right about people being out of a job, so I am feeling guilty that I'm not happy with my job when I at least HAVE one.

It's bad out there. I know this also from some of the calls I'm getting at work. People are desperate...and they are trashing their cars in the hope of getting some quick cash to help them out. It's called the "Auto Lotto".

And if they aren't trashing their cars to collect on insurance payouts, the people they get into accidents with are really pushing to collect as much as they can from the insurance companies. Which makes them mean and pushy when they talk to me. Which makes me feel mean when I have to deny something that we don't owe for.

Some of their requests are quite ridiculous. Some of the requests are understandable, but again, when I have to tell them that I understand their request, but I still can't fulfill it, they get downright nasty and personal in their attacks.

Take for instance, a call I just took today:

It's a person that was hit by our insured. We've told them we're sorry, and we're paying for the damages. We also arranged for a rental car for them. Well.... it's not good enough. Her argument is, I drive an SUV, you should put me in a rental SUV.

OK. I understand that, but we only owe for RELIABLE transportation to get them from point A to point B while their normal vehicle is being repaired.

Trying to explain this to the person infuriated them. She then informed me that she has a 4 month old infant, and can't carry the baby in a car. Just can't be done. Therefore - she needs an SUV. Well - sorry...but yes you CAN transport a baby in a car, and it's perfectly safe. Nope....says she.... stroller won't fit in the car.

So I inform her she should collapse the stroller before putting it in the trunk of the rental CAR and it will work just fine.

This is unacceptable. She then told me it's obvious I don't have children, otherwise I would put her in an SUV.

On the contrary, says I..... I have 3 children, one of which is in a car seat. We drive an Accord.

Obviously, says she... I don't care about my children and their safety if I feel comfortable traveling them around in a deathtrap car.


So...just TRY and get a frickin' SUV out of me now chicky! It ain't happening.

But the calls that are worrying me the most? The repair shops that are calling and saying: "We fixed your insured's car, and now they are telling us they can't afford the deductibles. They are just leaving them here....abandoning them."


Scary stuff.

So yeah. I hate my job. Unless someone can give me an idea about something different I can do, I'm just gonna suck it up until I get hatcheted from there...but sheesh. The peeps are bringing me down with their mean and nasty attitudes and treating me like crap.
posted by Norman at 4:42 PM | Permalink | 6 comments
Get awesome blog templates like this one from