Friday, December 30, 2005
Poll Time! An interactive intermission by Norman
Hey! I made an appointment to get my hair done next weekend. I've got too many grays popping their heads up on my hair... so - here's my picture:

Yes yes.. I know I"m old. but do you think a light reddish brown with blonde highlights would look ok? I need a change!! irk... maybe I should have put on lipstick before taking that picture. It looks like I have no top lip. hmmmm. Anyway !

posted by Norman at 3:45 PM | Permalink | 7 comments
Hey! Do you guys like those chocolate turtle candies? Here's a pie I made this last week, it is essentially, one big giant turtle. The recipe says it serves 10, but since it's so rich, I believe it would serve double that. You just can't eat a regular 'pie slice' serving of it. The best part is it takes all of 30 minutes to make.

Now my kids each had a sliver two days ago. I think they are STILL on a sugar high. I can't get them to calm down, and they keep insisting they want some more. Ummmm.... NO! Besides, I just took Ashy to the dentist to get a cavity filled. I bet this damn pie is the one that cratered her tooth.

I bought some stuff yesterday... a purse (which cost a whopping $10... but it's waaaaay cute), a necklace set, which was 75% off and cost a whole big $2.95 and a pair of earrings for $1.00. (Did I mention this was a cheap store?) I also bought some second-hand clothes for my baby, that don't look used. I spent a total of $58. My husband had a fit. DON'T SPEND MONEY AFTER CHRISTMAS!!!! But two hours later I found out he bought a brand spanking new iPod, soooo.... THHHPPPBBBBBBTTTT. Such a turd.

Anyway... make this pie!

Chocolate Caramel Pecan Pie:

3 cups pecan pieces, divided
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup butter or marg.. melted
1 14oz pkg caramals
2/3 cup whipping cream, divided
1 pkg (8 squares) Baker's semi-sweet baking chocolate
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Preheat oven to 350. Place 2 cups of pecans in food processor and finely grind them (hey... i found out.. you need to put the COVER on when you do this... yikes!). Mix ground pecans with granulated sugar and butter. Press into 9 inch pie plate and bake 12 minutes or until nicely browned. Cool completely (if crust puffs up during baking, gently press down with back of spoon <--- don't use your hand... OW!)

Microwave caramels and 1/3 cup of the whipping cream in bowl on high for 3 minutes or until caramels are melted, stirring after each minute. Pour into crust. Chop remaining pecan pieces and sprinkle over caramel.
Place chocolate, remaining whipping cream, powdered sugar and vanilla in a saucepan; cook and stir on low heat just until chocolate is melted. Pour over pie, gently spread to cover top of pie. Refrigerate at least 2 hours.

posted by Norman at 10:09 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Thursday, December 29, 2005
A post I wasn't going to post
Because it is sad. I wasn't going to post it at all, but then something happened. I'll get to that further down.

Originally, I was going to post this on the 27th, and I typed it out, then saved it as a draft. A lot of considering went into whether or not to post it, and then I decided not to. But Dec. 27th was an anniversary for me. And not a good one. December 27th was the 24th anniversary of my big brother's death.

I think of him everyday. It's amazing but after 24 years, there has never been a day that I don't think of him. He had everything going for him. He was 21, handsome, full of life and a West Point cadet in his last year. And he was my big brother. I thought he was awesome.

He went out with his friends one night, and early in the morning, decided to head back to my aunt's house in Arlington, TX. Apparently, him and his friend, Brent had been up all night. Rather than sleep at the friend's house they were visiting, they made their way back from Duncanville, TX. My brother fell asleep at the wheel. His Mazda RX-7 caught the edge of a guardrail as it came out of the ground, effectively turning it into a ramp. His car launched off the overpass and landed upside-down on the highway below. He died instantly. I didn't learn until much later that his friend Brent, survived for a few hours before dying at the hospital. Both were life-long friends.

That morning we found out, is burned in my brain forever. I remember it as vividly as it were yesterday. For some reason, we all woke early that morning. I remember sitting on the couch watching cartoons (I was 11), when my mother came from her bedroom, wished me good morning and offered to make me hot chocolate. She went into the kitchen when the phone rang. It was 9am.

The person on the phone asked for my father. My mother called for him and told him a "Mrs. Gray" was asking for him. I look back now and think what a fitting name for her job. The next thing I remember is my mother sobbing, and my father walking her back to their room. I was confused, concerned, and scared as I followed them in there. I kept asking "what happened, what's wrong?" and I remember wondering if they were going to send me out of the room, but instead, as my parents sat on the bed, my father looked up at the ceiling, and spoke to me. "Mike was in an accident, and Mike is dead." Just like that. I remember thinking "Oh. I better cry or they'll be mad at me" So I did. But the thing is, I can't make myself cry, so I must have really needed to.

It was a horrible morning. We woke my other brother, and told him. My sister was still in Arlington at my aunt's house (we lived in San Antonio) and we arranged for her to fly home. I didn't think we'd ever be happy again. But time passed and it got easier to think of him without crying. He's always been with me, in my thoughts and in my life as I remember him. He has three namesakes in our family... my little cousin "James Michael", my nephew, "Michael Bradley", and my own daughter, "Avery Michaela". We've never stopped loving him.

And then this happened,

On December 27th, I was looking on the internet, trying to find an archived news item about him, from West Point. I googled his name, and added West Point. I didn't find exactly what I was looking for, but I found so much more.

Someone blogged about my brother this last October, and I found it. What a treasure. I was amazed, brought to tears, and then happiness. He's not been forgotten by his friends, and they remembered him exactly as I did! Also - this blogger gave me a story that I had not heard. He described the memorial service given by West Point. We had no idea that a memorial service had been held for them, and this guy described the impact of it. It was amazing. The memory has stayed with him for 24 years. It was very moving to me that while we, as family still cherish his memory, so do his friends. I love that.

I miss my brother.

Like I said, I wasn't going to post about this, I even tried to just blog about the same old same old here at home. But sometimes, thoughts just stay in my head, and I think maybe if I share it with you guys, then maybe I'll feel better. Sort of like I just need to get it out.

December 27th was also our wedding anniversary. My husband & I tried to make that day a date with more than just tragedy attached. We've been married 8 years now. I still wish my brother could have met my husband.

I might delete this post. Just because. I don't know. We'll see....
posted by Norman at 9:44 AM | Permalink | 16 comments
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Ghost Posts
For those of you who are new.. I thought I would compile what I like to call "Ghost Posts".

I know a couple of you have said that you would like to know some more about my ghost, so I've listed all of the posts below that talk about it, in the order that they first appeared.

Now, I don't know if my house is really haunted, or if I'm just a neurotic mass of nerves - but there's SOMETHING weird over here, and it ain't me. I'll try to work out a sidebar to list these, and when I get the time, I'll git'r'done. The sidebar button should be working now!! I've linked the button to this post, and I'll remember to update this list as I add ghost stories. However - I ahem... HOPE I don't have many to list, because honestly - this really freaks the hell out of me! But for now- I present... "The Ghost Posts"

"Don't tell me there's no such thing as ghosts"
"Strange Story"
"Well this was very strange"
"So I'm a little freaked right now"
"Do it yourself de-spooking"
"Of course you know this means war"
"EVP? It ain't for me"
"Untitled audio post"
"They're Heeeere"
"The Ghost of Christmas Present"
"Coffee Anyone"
"It's Not Just Me Anymore!!"
Here's one for the Ghost Posts
What in the World?!
Just this Once... A GHOST POST!

So those are the posts right now that mention my ghost. You make the decision if you want. You believe? Or not?
posted by Norman at 10:22 PM | Permalink | 9 comments
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
What's your life rating??

I found this on another blog...Soulthoughts, I believe. I thought it was pretty cool. Hey! I t showed me where I could stand improvement in the "Spirits" category although I don't think it was that kind of spirit!

Let me know what your life rating is!

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 6.2
Mind: 5.1
Body: 4.8
Spirit: 5.6
Friends/Family: 7.4
Love: 7.3
Finance: 7.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz
posted by Norman at 8:34 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Coffee anyone?
Guess what showed up this morning!!!?? My COFFEE!

It was just sitting on the kitchen table this morning like it had every right in the world to be there. It was NOT there last night when I went to bed, and I know my husband did not wake up in the middle of the night to stick it there. But it's full, and it's still sealed, looks normal but ...ewwwwwwwwww!!!! I don't really want to touch it.

I don't think I'll be using it... it's probably full of ectoplasm or something like that.

posted by Norman at 2:46 PM | Permalink | 6 comments
Sunday, December 25, 2005
OK. That sucked. Christmas that is.

We knocked ourselves out trying to make Christmas fun for our kids. The presents under the tree were phenomenal for three kids! I was so excited! Then, this morning, Ashton woke up and I was already awake, trying to keep Avery from tackling all the presents. (Not an easy task- let me tell ya). Ashton moseyed in, sat on the couch next to me while I tried to hype her up. "HEY!! MERRY CHRISTMAS! Sweetie look! Santa came!" She looked through all the gifts, and said "Memere's house always has more presents."


Well, Ethan slugged his way into the room and immediately wanted to unwrap gifts. Alright! Let's go!

Paper flew, kids yelled, and all was right with the world... for about 5 minutes. With each gift, Ashton would announce "Well, this wasn't on my list.. what was Santa thinking??!!" Then, when a requested gift would show "FINALLY!! Something I asked for!!" (I'm starting to do what's known as a 'slow burn')

The last gift was unwrapped, and then the whining began. "Moooooomy....Santa didn't bring me a gift I reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally wanted!" So - like any mother would do, I sympathized with her. "Oh sweetie! I'm so sorry... but look at all these other great gifts he brought you!" ... her ----> "But the one thing I really wanted... he didn't bring it!" "Well hunny, what gift is that??

get this

"Mommmmmmy... I really wanted a cell phone! And it's not here!! This is a terrible Christmas!!"

WTF??? She wanted a cell phone?? SHE'S 7 FREAKING YEARS OLD! What the hell is a 7 year old going to do with a cell phone?? I... think... not..........

So the spoiled princess didn't want the other gifts she got. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I told her that she should be grateful, as there are children out there who get nothing. But of course a seven year old doesn't want/care to hear things like that.

Meanwhile, Ethan has picked up on the discontent and decides to throw his two cents in. "I didn't get a 'Steam-Along Thomas' and that's what I really wanted toooooo!

Buncha whiners.

So, now I've got two children that think their Christmas sucked. And because they firmly believe they didn't get the things they wanted, the WHOLE day (for them) was ruined. So that ruined it for everyone else around them as well.

My children are not spoiled. They just totally went off the deep end today and took me along with them.

Ah well.

I hope everything else went well for you guys, and that your families were THRILLED with their gifts.

Next year, I think I'll tell the kids that Santa isn't coming since they didn't like their gifts this year. And I think my husband & I will put all the money that we would have bought gifts with, and take the family on a Christmas time Disney cruise instead. (Now THERE'S a plan!)

And I would just like to say to the idiot who shot off some sort of artillery shell last night at about 12:30am... You freaking idiot. You scared the hell out of me, my baby, and my PARENTS who were at their house and heard the same kaboom everyone within a two mile radius heard. 12:30am and people were RUNNING out of their houses to see what the noise was. Crazy shit in this town. I'm just sayin'
posted by Norman at 8:32 PM | Permalink | 12 comments
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Santa Tracker?
Just in case you need it, here's the NORAD Santa Tracker link:


This will REALLY hype your kids out to watch Santa traveling across the world. Also - it will tell the kids when it's TIME TO GO TO BED! We watch it every year!

Merry Christmas to all, and remember...Fleas got my Dog! Don't forget to sing "Hark the Hair-lipped Angels" for me!

posted by Norman at 2:12 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Friday, December 23, 2005
Which reindeer are you?
You Are Prancer

You are the perfect reindeer, with perfect hooves and perfect flying form.

Why You're Naughty: Because you're Santa's pet, and you won't let anyone show you up.

Why You're Nice: You have the softest fur and the sweetest carrot breath.
Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?
posted by Norman at 8:34 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Thursday, December 22, 2005
I called my husband today at work.... just to check on him. I could hear him giggling and I asked him what he was doing.

"Me and Rod are reading your blog!"

Here was my reaction:

Holy crap! I feel kinda... violated. It's one thing for me to blog stuff and let you guys read it, it's quite another thing for SOMEONE WHO KNOWS ME IN THE REAL WORLD (aside from Sam I Am that is) to read it!! Besides... do I REALLY want my husband to read this stuff? Now that he's shown his friends my blog, there's NO WAY I can tell you some of the stuff I was planning on. I can't dish on him anymore, and I certainly can't dish on my in-laws! (heh)

But, my husband said his friend liked it, so I guess that's okay. But still... EEEEEEEEE

Short post tonight, we're trying to wrap Christmas gifts for the kiddos, and when the hell are we supposed to find time to do that? It's cutting into my blogging time, I'm tellin' ya!

Oh. my. God. I just had to edit this post to include the following. This is just....wrong. But enjoy it!! (psssst... click on the picture and follow the cues...I highly recommend clicking on "autoplay" when you get to the elf part.)

posted by Norman at 6:25 PM | Permalink | 4 comments
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I think my husband wrote this column
I swear. This sounds sooo much like stuff he says:

posted by Norman at 7:13 PM | Permalink | 8 comments
Monday, December 19, 2005
Ice Capades!!
The Ice Capades came to town! Yeah! "Texans on Ice!" It was absolutely crazy! It all started when I woke up this morning, to a gleaming rink of ice all over the streets. I was smart, and knew that the Ice Capades might be coming, since last night a heavy fog descended on our town. The Capades like to sneak in during the dead of night to surprise everyone with their exhibition. And what an exhibition it was! Like I said - I had an inkling that they might be coming, so I got up and was ready to leave for work at 6am. I stood out on my porch to wait for my mom to come since she watches my kids during the day. I did not wait in vain. The Ice Capades were starting! She pulled up in her van, and attempted to stop in front of our house, but slid halfway down the block. So she went around the block again and tried for another stop. Nope. Slid down the street again. Wheeee!! The third time, she actually made it, and stopped without taking out my mailbox. But then she tried to get out of the van. I heard a few footsteps, then an ominous sliding sound. In the darkness, I could make out the faint shape of my mother as she slid upright, perfect form about 10 feet out into the road. OH!! I love the Ice Capades!!

She finally stopped sliding, and began walking to my front door, but the way she was walking made her look like a character out of "SouthPark". I was giggling hysterically and finally took pity on her to help her the rest of the way up. And that was the end of Act I of the Ice Capades.

Act II took place on my drive to work. I work about 35 miles away. And NONE of the roads had been salted or sanded. All the better for the Ice Capades. I drove a sedate 25 miles an hour down the highway, and marveled at the Texans on Ice Pros who think that having a 4-Wheel drive means they can SPEED. And WOW! They were fast! Some of them didn't appreciate being slowed down by me, and showed me their fingers on their way by. Well huh... You know - it's 20 degrees outside, and if you stick one finger up in the air like that, it'll freeze. So I graciously invited them to shove that finger up where it would keep nice & warm. But of course they didn't hear me since I was in my car. I drove a little ways up, and saw one of the pros pirouetting merrily down the highway, ending up in the ditch. Heh.. I was thrilled to be able to applaud his antics as I drove by with a little toot of my horn and a cheery wave. Made my freaking day.

All in all, the Ice Capades lasted for 2 hours, as that was the length of time it took me to drive 35 miles. And the best part? It didn't get above 25 degrees today, so that meant I got to have an encore performance on my way home!

The Ice Capades has one more performance here in town before the ice rink melts off tomorrow, I can already see them resurfacing the ice as the heavy fog drifts down to cover the streets again.

Luckily - my youngest child has what appears to be Chicken Pox (did I say 'luckily'?) and I'll have to refrain from the last performance for awhile.

posted by Norman at 7:26 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Sunday, December 18, 2005
OKAY! Back in bidnets'
First - credit for the blogger template goes to Mela. She's got lots of cool templates, all there for us to use if we so desire.

As much as I would like to say - "Hey! Thanks! I did this!!" I really can't. My technical difficulties evolved from me not understanding where to put the images that she supplied. (Heh... I finally had to resort to this: "HONEY!! HELLLLLLPPPP!!" See, that's a bad thing because then he usually laughs at me for not understanding simple HTML coding.

So to get even for him and all his smugness... I offer this:

TEN Reasons Why God Created Eve
10. God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of Eden, because he wouldn't ask for directions.
9. God knew that, someday, Adam would need someone to hand him the TV remote.
(Parenthetically, it has been noted that men don't want to see what's ON TV. They want to see WHAT ELSE is on TV.)
8. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment.
7. God knew that, when Adam's fig leaf wore out, he would never buy a new one for himself.
6. God knew that Adam would not remember to take out the garbage.
5. God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply. But, He knew Adam would never be able to handle labor pains and childbirth.
4. As "keeper of the garden," Adam would need help in finding his tools.
3. Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple Incident and for anything else that was really his fault.
2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone."
1. And the No. 1 reason of all .
(Tada ... drum roll ... fanfare . , etc.)
God stepped back, looked at Adam, and declared ...
"I can do better than that."
posted by Norman at 8:21 PM | Permalink | 4 comments
I think... it's fixed
Ya'll can tell better than I can though. Let me know if it doesn't appear to be working right (the web page... I can't help you with anything that you guys have that's not working)

In the meantime, I'll leave you with this:

The age old question of difference between guts and balls....

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below....

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying off somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next!"

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.
posted by Norman at 2:00 PM | Permalink | 8 comments
Saturday, December 17, 2005
What the?
Okaaay... I'm still trying to figure out this new template...but I had to tell ya'll this.

I love looking at my stat counter to see who came here and from where (cause I'm nosy that way). I had the following search:

'train a dog to hump people'

yeah. Now why would you WANT to do that? Mine do it all the time, and I sure as hell didn't train them to do that.

The second weird part? That search originated from someone with the ISP "American Cancer Society". HOW IS THAT PART OF THE SEARCH FOR THE CURE FOR CANCER?????!!!!

Great googely moogely. If THAT'S part of the cure, I am quitting smoking TODAY!

posted by Norman at 9:15 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Technical Difficulties
I'm trying to do a new template, and obviously - I'm experiencing technical difficulties!

(I'm so computer-illiterate)

stay tuned!

posted by Norman at 2:49 PM | Permalink | 10 comments
Friday, December 16, 2005
A little deviation from my usual genre
If I have a genre that is.

Now, you guys that read my blog know that I usually babble about nonsensical crap, and that I'm amazed that I have regular readers at all. But I want to tell you guys something a little different today. Again - not the usual drivel that I spout, but this is something that has been with me since Sunday, and maybe I need to share it?

See, I'm not usually a church-goer, but occasionally I go. I went to church last Sunday and moped about in the pew. (I'm a horrible Catholic). So as I listened with half an ear to the priest, I started to notice that the man in front of me was nodding his head vigorously to each statement the priest said. I began to entertain myself by watching this man. Eventually, he started to punctuate each nod with a "Praise God!" and even cried out "Hallelujah" a few times.

Now, I don't know how many of you are Catholic, but in all the Catholic churches I've been to, this is unusual. Most Catholics don't shout out praise like this, and they certainly don't pump their fist into the air, like this gentleman was doing. But it was all very entertaining. Finally, the part of church came where the priest told us to offer each other a sign of peace (this is where all the Catholics turn to each other and shake hands while saying "Peace be with you", or - like some people in my church: "Hey whassup" with a brief little nod of the head. Anyhoo. When this man turned around, I was completely taken aback.

What I had taken for a cracked nut bible-beater, was a man with complete and utter joy on his face. He had a beatific look on his face as he turned around, grabbed at my hand, and wished me the love of God and happiness (which is not the usual 'Hey Wassup' or 'Peace be with you'). This man, was also -- totally blind.

His eyes were messed up. Big time. I also noticed, as he grabbed at my hand, that he had one of those canes clenched in his other hand. And then I started thinking.

Sheesh. Here's this man, who cannot see, yet is sitting here in church singing, loudly proclaiming his love for God, and really participating in church. Seems to me he can 'see' better than I can. I gripe about not having enough money, or not enough time, or too much to do, and this man who doesn't have eyesight - something a lot of us take for praising the God that allowed that to happen (it was obvious that the eyes were the product of a congenital thing).

I don't know if it's the Christmas season that has made this memory of the blind guy stay with me, or what but for some reason, it was totally amazing to me.

I take soooo many things for granted, and then I see something like that. .. I dunno. I guess I just wanted to share something other than my usual nonsense. And I'm re-reading this entry for the third time, and I feel like I'm not getting the actual feeling that I want to convey to you guys! It truly was, an 'eye-opening' experience for me.

I'll probably be back to my usual programming tomorrow!

posted by Norman at 7:03 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
The ghost of Christmas Present
Well. I knew it was too good to be true. She's back again. I think. Either that or I'm losing my mind. It's probably a combination of both... maybe?

I got home today, and opened the door from the garage to walk in the house. I saw a shadow cross the living room, from the back room where I was but I didn't think too much about it, I mean - I'm coming in from the outside - it stands to reason that the sun caught me & made a shadow. I shut the door - and as I turned around to head to the living room, I heard "HEY" from the bedroom.

But I'm home alone.
.....who's yelling "HEY" in the back?
.........and I didn't even stop. i just leaned back over - picked up my purse and left.

I went to WalMart and hung out over there until my husband got home. He thinks it's someone who used to live here - but I'm just thrilled that he finally believes me! I guess the final straw for him came when the ghost touched his face.

I want to move. Anyone want to buy a house? Cheap? Please?


posted by Norman at 7:55 PM | Permalink | 10 comments
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
So should I be concerned?
I think my 4 yr old has some agressive tendancies. I don't know what clued me in, or wait! Maybe I do:

"BLAM!!!" he's holding a water gun that looks like a weapon Marvin the Martian would love.
"Hey buddy! Whatcha doing?!"
"BLAM!!!" actually - he's pretty good at vocalizing sound effects!
"Are you pretending to squirt me with water!?"
"no.... BLAM!!"
"Well - what are you doing?"
"I'm killing you... BLAMMITY BLAM!"
huh. what the heck did I do to him?? So here goes my Motherly answer: "Now sweetie. We don't kill people. It's not nice to kill people. Besides, Santa doesn't like it when little boys pretend to kill others. Killing isn't a nice thing at all." (see? I've got motherly advice!)
He pondered on this awhile, and then told me he wanted to be a policeman when he grows up. "Oh!" I said "That's a wonderful idea! Policemen are our friends!"
"Yes," he agreed "I'm going to be a policeman so I can kill people" (and you have to say it the way he does: keel
Again with the nurturing comments: "Oh no! Policemen don't kill us! We love policemen. They help us when we need help!".
Now he's stumped. "oh" then his face lit up. "Mommy! I want to be a BADGUY when I grow up. Just so I can kill people!" (Mental note... hide water gun)

"Ummmm... nope - you can't be a badguy, cause then Santa won't come visit, AND because then I wouldn't bake you cookies. Besides, if you kill people you have to go to jail. And when you go to jail, there are other badguys there, and they want to kill YOU. So there."

So now he's back to wanting to be either a fireman, a garbage man, or the ice cream man... and he's looking for his gun.

Anyway - a question to you moms (or dads) of boys... is this normal behavior?? (and I'm actually being serious...)

************* wait. I typed this earlier this morning. Then my dad sent me a link that I tacked onto the bottom of this post. Maybe... maybe, I found where the warlike attitude is coming from.

Cute Link
posted by Norman at 7:33 PM | Permalink | 11 comments
Monday, December 12, 2005
God I miss real college
Books for College = $4,500/year
Used car to send her off to school = $10,000
Harvard Education = $29,900/year

Sending Mom & Dad home a photo of you and your new friends = PRICELE$$

In case you 'missed' it, take another gander. See anything... just kinda... out there? (heh.. i like this pic.. it reminds me of my ol' college days with my friend Margie)

posted by Norman at 7:07 PM | Permalink | 8 comments
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Acronym anyone?
I stole this from Michelle who stole this from Osbasso which is why I chose the handcuffs as my Avatar.

(btw... Osbasso is the creator of Half Nekkid Thursday, which I have yet to participate in. I have - however, done my own version of Full Frontal Friday)

Nocturnal One Readily Made for Arousing Necking
posted by Norman at 9:15 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Friday, December 09, 2005
So you think you know everything?
For those of you who just thought you knew everything, here's a refresher course...............

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women what does this tell you!)

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)

Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first U.S. president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second? William Jefferson Clinton (Please don't tell me you're SURPRISED!?!!)

And the best for last..... Turtles can breathe through their butts. (I know some people like that; don't YOU?)
posted by Norman at 7:50 PM | Permalink | 11 comments
Baubles & Beads
Telephone message on my phone at work today:

"Hi. This is Ms. Smith from Montessori. Ethan has stuck a bead up his nose, and we need you to come pick him up. I can see it, and it doesn't look like it's too far up there, but school policy prohibits me from attempting to retrieve the object. Ethan is fine, but he's not very comfortable right now. Please call me when you receive this message."

***sigh*** I dropped my head into my hands and wondered "What the hell was he thinking?!!"

I called my parents, and my wonderful mother dropped everything and went to pick him up from school. (I work a good 35 miles away) Now, my mother raised 4 kids - of which I was one... of COURSE she's perfectly capable of taking care of this situation. I gave her enough time to get back home, but she never arrived. So I deduced that the bead MUST be shoved up there further than she could get, and they were at the doctor's.

I called the doctor:

"Doctor's Office"
"Hi. Could you tell me if there's a small child there that was just brought in with a Christmas Bead jammed up his nose?"
"Uhhh.. we've got 2 of 'em. Which one are you asking about?"
"Ok, let me check.... Yes - he's in the back room right now."
"Great! Thanks!"

See? I can put 2 & 2 together.

Then my mother called me about 10 minutes later. The object is out. It is indeed a bead, and it was crammed waaaaaay far up there. She was laughing pretty hard. She said his nose was all distorted on one side. She also told me that when the doctor took the bead out, she scolded him about never inserting things in his nose, ears, or ANY other body part that had a hole in it (**shudder** please don't give him any ideas!) At which point, my son tried to defend his actions:

"But I didn't put it in there, it rolled into my nose"
"No it didn't!!!" retorted the doctor
"Uh-huh," replied the beadman "it jumped up in there!!"
"No it didn't!" the good doctor argued
"It did!"
"Mr. Ethan, I know for sure that the bead did not roll or jump into your nose by itself. Now, stop arguing with me."
"Okaaaaay... but it really did jump up there, it's a majic bead!"

hmmm... apparently - after that comment, the conversation went downhill from there, at which point my son became highly upset that he was not believed.

I think I laughed the rest of the day.

I can't believe the doctor got into the "did not" "did too" argument with a 4 year old!


posted by Norman at 7:21 PM | Permalink | 5 comments
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Ok. Let me just get this out once & for all
I'm not a negative person. I'm really not. It just seems like sometimes, my mood stutters and it appears to have been stuttering for the past week now. In order to get all the nastiness out of my system, I have decided to list all the things I can currently think of that piss me off. I reserve the right to either add to this list at any time, or move the list to my sidebar and add to it occasionally, as the situations arise. OK? Let's go!


1. Mean people. -- Mean people suck. They all need to go to hell
2. The people that wire Barbie dolls into their boxes. -- They need to go to hell
3. Fed Ex trucks. -- The arrows can go to hell
4. Liars. -- There's one in particular that needs to go to hell. Ironically enough - his initials are "BJ" very fitting I believe.
5. Algebra. -- Whoever invented it can bite me.
6. Snobs. -- To all snobs: They think they're better than everybody else. Here's a secret... GO TO HELL!
7. Liver and Mushrooms. --- ewww Two food items that I hate!
8. Negative people -- Negativity causes me to become hateful. I hate hating
9. The Weaver Family -- they're still racing.... aaaarggghhh
10. The Ghost -- she's been very quiet lately. She's making me nervous. I hate that
11. Mariah Carey

OK. That's it for now!

posted by Norman at 8:06 PM | Permalink | 12 comments
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
One more thing..

Help me tell my adorable baby Happy 1st Birthday!

Avery Michaela...
One Year Old Today
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Averyyyyyyyy
Happy Birthday to you!
posted by Norman at 6:58 PM | Permalink | 13 comments
Yet another gripe
Yes. I am still griping. But maybe this will be a happy gripe for some of you.

Your government, truly cares about energy conservation. Really. Wanna know how I know? I know. I really do.

The President has signed an order, directing federal entities to find ways to reduce energy by 10%. My employer, has found a way to do this.

On the coldest day of the year (today), when it was a mere TWO degrees (no lie ya'll, check the weather pages for Amarillo!), they confiscated... our government-issued personal heaters.

Yes folks... we can no longer have personal heaters in our offices. Now - before you go laughing at me, remember - it is TWO DEGREES outside, plus... the wind was gusting up to 25mph. Just frickin' cold.

Our buildings, are quite old (pre WWII ) and not conducive to maintaining heat. Not to mention the draft and seeping cold pockets in my building.

So they took our space heaters from us - which were sorely needed. BUT!!!! They did issue us blankets to use while we work. Wasn't that sweet of them? I sat in my office for 8 hours today, wrapped in a blanket, and did my best to be productive.

So, in order to contribute to the conservation of energy... I, Norman, freeze my ass off at work.

I am an American... and I am proud.

God Bless ya!

posted by Norman at 3:24 PM | Permalink | 9 comments
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Still can't see it? Try this:
Here - I'm not insane! There really is an arrow! I circled it in this pic:

And once you finally see the arrow... you will ALWAYS see the arrow.

I'm really pissed tonight. I took my first Algebra test. I'm pretty sure I screwed it up. Thank God for partial credit! I missed the first hour of class, which included ... the review of the test. Shit. BUT!! I missed it for a good reason! My little boy was in his very first Christmas Program. His little Montessori class sang Christmas Carols. I found out something about him. He's one of those kids that screams his songs out when he's in a group of kids. So , all the other kids are singing, and he's just belting it out like William Hung. I was so damned proud of him. Then... he decided he was going to mess with the little girl standing in front of him, and he fell down while trying to pull her hair. When he fell, it created a domino effect. And I got the whole damn thing on VIDEO!! YEAH!!

Well - let me know if you see the arrow now that I circled it.

Fleas got my dog ya'll!!


posted by Norman at 9:35 PM | Permalink | 9 comments
Something that drives me up...the....wall....
Do you see it??? Do you freaking see it??? It's making me crazy!

Yes. It's a Fed Ex Truck... but LOOK at the Fed Ex emblem. DO YOU SEE IT??

Honestly - I don't know why it bugs the hell out of me.. maybe because someone pointed it out to me once before, and now it's all I see... But Fed Ex paid an assload of money for a graphics person to incorporate an arrow in their logo, and now... it's ... all.. I .. see. (and if you DON'T see it - it's between the 'e' and the 'x'.) I fixate on it when I see one of their trucks on the road. It just bugs me because now my mind trips out on me and I don't even see the words "Fed Ex" anymore. I just see the fucking arrow.

Ok. I think I need to take vitamins or something. I'm just going off on some of the weirdest things lately. But... i DO feel better right now after my vent. Thanks guys!
posted by Norman at 5:57 AM | Permalink | 7 comments
Monday, December 05, 2005
What I did this weekend!
My Christmas Tree. It's about the only damn thing I did this weekend... But I did it, it's done, and now I get to try to decorate the rest of the house. I have 10 storage bins full of decorations & one pissed off husband cause I made him yank them all down from the overhead storage. He'll be even happier when he finds out that I plan to make him put up the outside lights tomorrow...

**Ha! Update - since I typed this yesterday, and didn't get to post it until today - my husband told me to call one of those yard decorating services so that THEY can go outside in the 15 degree weather & make the house Christmassy!

Oh yeah... Linda suggested a Christmas Tree Tag... so I'm tagging:

Pack of 2


Tammy (I actually wanna see what else your dog did to your Christmas decorations now! HAHHAAA)
posted by Norman at 9:16 PM | Permalink | 11 comments
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Amazing Race
I just got around to watching last Tuesday's Amazing Race on the TiVo.

Do you guys watch it? If so - does anyone else get as annoyed at the Weaver team like I do? I swear. I wish I could just stop the TiVo, climb in the TV and wham the shit out of them. Thank you.

Here's my problem with them... they sit there and proclaim themselves Christians, and CONSTANTLY pray to Jesus & God to let them win a leg of the race. (That's problem #1... Jesus or God are not there to let you win money)

THEN - after they try to set up this front of Christian goodness - they sit there and badmouth all the other teams. (problem #2). How fucking Christian is THAT? That's just messed up.

ANNNND... the mom is just looney. She's insane. It's a race!! Of course people are going to try to block you and make you last. It's a RACE. And of course, they just don't like her. But I swear. She's the stupidest... person... evhar...

whew. I feel better now.


p.s. Just thought you guys would like to know that our Boy Dog is humping the little girl dog, but while he's doing that... the OTHER girl dog is trying to hump him. Where is my fucking camera when I REALLY need it? They've got a frickin' hump train going on out there.
posted by Norman at 9:28 PM | Permalink | 7 comments
I call this: Progress..
Well - what do you think? Remember my bathroom?

I'm not completely done with it, but here's what I got. The color is 'gold' and the faux finish is Tuscan Accents.

I'm envisioning wrought iron accents over the bubble jet tub, and wrought iron fixtures for the towel racks & such.

The only thing I'm not crazy about is the tile. This is the original tile, and it's actually 'almond colored'. However - a very strange thing happened while I painted... the tile color now looks more gray. Very weird.

I'm almost done with it, but it's a two-step process, and I still want to do my Christmas tree. Pictures of that later!


posted by Norman at 12:35 PM | Permalink | 7 comments
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Flea Song
"Mommy, why do they play the flea song at Christmas? Why is it a Christmas song?" This was asked by my 7 yr old... Ashton.

"Flea song?" What do you mean, the Flea Song"

You know... the flea song... 'Fleas got my dog... Fleas got my dog...' " she's horribly out of tune, but I recognize the melody...

"You mean.. "Feliz Navidad?"

She's funny.

posted by Norman at 10:10 PM | Permalink | 7 comments
Friday, December 02, 2005
GVOD blogger Michael and Dana have both given me advice that I think I should follow.

Thanks guys!

But... now I have to restart on my quest to find ways to make money to get to Disney.

I have ONE idea in my itty bitty brain, but the way I keep formulating my little idea, won't make me any money. I'm ... so... bummed..

So - I'm off to edit my blog to remove references to.... *a certain program* so that I'll not get in any pookie.

But you guys all still RAWWWK!
posted by Norman at 7:12 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Thursday, December 01, 2005
You guys RAAWK!!!

Ok... you guys all RAWWWWK, and if you saw this before I've edited the ORIGINAL paragraph... you know why. But I shouldn't even mention it, (by advice) so I'll just tell you guys you all RAAWK!

Well - my running leap post yesterday triggered a memory. I often wonder why my kids are weird, and the answer is really quite simple. I'm weird. I know I am, and if you knew me in real life - you'd agree. (Right Sam I Am?! hey... do you still read me?) ooo... let me digress - When I was in Vegas, I knocked the living crap out of Sam I Am when the roulette wheel landed on '24'. I had stuck 3 chips on 24 and it HIT. I flew off of my stool and literally beat the hell out of him - screaming the entire time. I was so excited, but he was very good natured about it. I guess it's because we were playing with the Son of God....

But anyhoo!!! When I was a kid, I had this wild imagination. In fact - there were these pesky little critters that I dreamed up, which in turned - scared the living shit out of me. Those little critters were called "Clippies".

Clippies are evil little characters. They hid in your bed, under your bed, in the closet, in your dresser drawer... shit - those fuckers hid EVERYWHERE. They also would poison my drinking cup. But I was on to them! I knew (in my 4 year old brain), that I could rinse my cup out a certain number of times, and then the poison would become ineffective. Sometimes I had to rinse my cup 2 times, sometimes 20 times. And rinse it I did. (Compulsive tendencies anyone?)

But the real danger from the Clippies came from........ toe biting. Yes. I said toe biting.

HEY! I was FOUR! Cut me some slack! Yes - Clippies main goal in life was to bite your toe. If they happened to bite your toe - you became one of them. And that would be a very bad thing. Since the rest of my family laughed at me about the Clippies - and obviously didn't believe in them, I lived in constant fear that the Clippies would bite them on the toes and then they'd come after me. There were some nights that I would leap onto my sister's bed and mash her feet to make sure that there were no Clippies in there with her. Of course - then I got into all kinds of shit, because #1... I was out of bed and #2.... mashing her feet usually involved a large book that apparently - hurt her.

I used to try to describe what Clippies looked like to my parents. At one point, they seemed very sincere to try to help me banish them. But I could never describe them adequately to my parents. I was 4 and simply lacked the vocabulary. But I remember. I still to this day remember what they looked like.

In fact, I was watching The Wiggles with my kids last week, and almost crapped my pants. There was one of their stoopid little songs going on and they had these puppets that were sort of modeled to look just like the Wiggly guys. Those puppets looked like the Clippies to a 'T'. How... fucking... bizarre is that? I always knew the Wiggles were evil!! I found a picture of one of the Wiggle things that looks like the Clippies. If the Wiggles would have come out about 30 years ago... I would have been one neurotic mess. Here's the pic:

OK. I just freaked out a little bit again while I posted that. How fucking scary is this to you? This is EXACTLY what a clippie looked like to me.

If you were 4 years old, and this was walking around in your bedroom, trying to WIGGLE it's way into your bed to bite your toe... would you not become a very weird and strange person?

So I have come to the conclusion that it is THE WIGGLES fault that I am the way I am...

Bon Soir!

posted by Norman at 7:09 PM | Permalink | 7 comments
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