I am Norman

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Boys & their Toys

Okay Guys....WHY? Why do you feel the need to scratch your stuff all the frickin' time??!
I just had to get on to my husband. Not literally mind you, not if he's grabbing himself as if he's been infested with the fleas of a thousand camels. He'll stick his hands down his pants and go to town in front of ANYBODY. It's one of the reasons why I don't have many parties here. I'm afraid.

I bought him some Blue-Star ointment, but he won't use it. He's afraid it will burn. Well - I'm afraid his dong is going to fall off if it itches as much as he claims it does. He says this is just part of being a guy. And I'm afraid he's proved his point.

Let's go back about 3 years. My son was just learning how to crawl, and he also learned how to pull his diaper off all by himself. I came into the living room, and saw my husband just watching my son sit on the floor butt ass nekked. They both looked so happy. Ethan had a bad case of diaper rash - so I didn't hurry to much to re-diaper him. As he was sitting there, he just casually reached down and pulled on himself. Then he realized that he was grabbing something, and decided to see just how far he could stretch that booger out. (Hey - why ARE they so stretchy??) It was at this point that my husband turned to me and said "See? It's nature... we're born to grab'em!" I think it was then that I started to believe.

Let's go to about 1 year ago... Ethan came running up to me. And he looked just like his father. Hands down his pants and everything.
"Mommy!! I got it! I got it!!"
"What did you get Ethan?"
"MY teetee! I got it!"
"Well - Let go of it!"
"No!! It's MY teetee! It's MINE!!!"

And then he ran away from me. I heard him a couple of seconds later...
"Daddy!! I got it! I got it!"

and my husband's response?

"ALLRIGHT BUDDY!!! WAY TO GO!! WOOOHOOOO!"

norman

posted by Norman at 8:00 PM

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10 Comments:

At Wednesday, September 14, 2005 8:22:00 PM, Nicki

LMAO
At Thursday, September 15, 2005 6:18:00 AM, Michael

I feel like I picked up a woman's magazine and I can't put it down. I'm not sure if people will look at me strange. You do tell a mean story.

BTW - I haven't grabbed all day. Of course it is only 9 in the morning.

Take Care
Michael
At Thursday, September 15, 2005 7:01:00 AM, Tammy

Many a time we've had to shout at our 5 year old to take his hands off of pants on the baseball field. Yes, he grabs it and lingers there during the game.

I've also uttered these words several times "It's not a toy, stop playing with it!!"
At Thursday, September 15, 2005 11:03:00 AM, Anonymous

LOL
At Thursday, September 15, 2005 7:03:00 PM, Norman

awww Michael. I'm curious to know if you made it all through the day without grabbing your stuff??

teh - you mean at five they still do it? I was hoping it would taper off for a while.. through his juvenile years at least..

norm
At Thursday, September 15, 2005 7:50:00 PM, Stewie

See, women don't understand.

Do you scratch your elbow?

Do you scratch your leg?

Well, men have a penis and testicles where women have a vagina.

Sometimes our penis and/or testicles itch, thus we scratch them.

Next time your leg itches, don't scratch it. See how long you last.

Hope that helps. :-)
At Thursday, September 15, 2005 9:00:00 PM, Norman

ROFLMAO STEWIE!!

But I do have a problem with that logic:

I have an elbow, you have an elbow. It itches.. we scratch. Agree

I have a leg, you have a leg. It itches.. we scratch. Agree

I have girl stuff, you have boy stuff.. It itches.. we scratch DISAGREE!!

Girl's stuff can itch too, but you don't see us with our hands crammed down our pants in public rummaging around as if we're looking for a compact in our purse!

So if girls can refrain from cootchie grabbing in public - why can't guys??
At Friday, September 16, 2005 7:46:00 AM, Michael

Norman

I feel compelled to always answer the requests of a lady. Turn your head if you do not want the graphic details...

I must admit that somewhere near mid-afternoon I needed some adjustment. Sometimes things just get wedged in the wrong place and it can be a bit uncomfortable. I did go to a private place however and I will not comment on whether I lingered longer than necessary.

Take Care
Michael
At Friday, September 16, 2005 11:14:00 AM, Stewie

Michael brings up an excellent point. There's nothing wrong with adjusting yourself, it's society that puts these barriers on us poor guys.

As far as the scratching, there is more of us sticking out to itch than women. There's more stuff to itch. We itch more. :-)
At Friday, September 16, 2005 10:41:00 PM, Spicy Cracker

you know ... why doesn't this surprise me... hahaha... thanks for stopping by I'll get better at posting I sware. I so love your blog.