Monday, September 19, 2005
Really had nothing new or interesting happen today... OH WAIT!! I take that back. I had a LITTLE bit of fun today, but I'm kinda pissed about it.

I bought one of those electric zapper pens. Have you seen them? You click on the top and it shocks the shit out of the person clicking it. I brought it to work and proceeded to have a heyday. I shocked all my office people (the ones that didn't hear the last victim shrieking), and then I went and shocked one of my best friends. He clicked the top, screamed like a little girl, and winged my pen against the wall where it burst open. After I wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes, I picked up the pieces & took it back to my office. About this time, my boss walked in. She looked at me with my pen in pieces and said, "Stressed?" I saw.... an opportunity.

I innocently put the pen back together and told her, "It's my new pen - but I can't get it to click !!" I looked at her imploringly. She took my pen, I watched with bated breath. She clicked it, nothing. "It's trashed" she said, put my pen on my desk and left.

MY NEW TOY IS BROKEN!!!! I'm bummed. It was so much fun while it lasted. I want another one, but with shipping that thing cost me $14.00 and I had to wait two weeks to get it.

So while I'm waiting ('cause I ordered two more of them), I found one of these questionnaires that everyone and their dog is doing. So for shits & giggles here's mine:

i am not: athletically inclined
i love: frozen margaritas (oh yeah.. with a little salt on the rim...BABY!)
i fear: the boogety man. (he's in my closet)
i hope: he doesn't get out.
i hear: him scratching at the door.. (when I'm freaking out that is)
i crave: chocolate. (that time of the month, ya know?)
i regret: telling ya'll that it's that time of the month.
i cry: when I get uber pissed.
i care: about children that are abused.
i always: check under my bed before sleeping
i believe: the boogety man escaped from my closet and crammed himself under my bed
i feel alone: actually - i try not to be alone cause of that frickin boogety man.
i listen: to 80's music (it's my deep dark secret)
i hide: chocolate from my kids. (It's MINE all MINE)
i drive: a bright yellow Escape (I never lose it in the parking lot either)
i sing: at the top of my lungs, in my car, very badly
i dance: like most white people do... badly
i write: short stories that people tell me I should compile & publish (shaaa!! Right!)
i play: online poker at poker i really believe I'm the next WSOP bracelet winner.
i miss: my brother (RIP)
i search: for my car keys every damn morning (wish they were bright yellow)
i learn: more from my kids than any book learning I ever had
i feel: kinda funky right now. I'm taking painkillers for a pinched nerve in my neck.
i know: I'm a geek!
i saw: my neighbor naked - and he doesn't know it!!! (I'M BLIND!!!)
i succeed: whenever I really put my mind to it.
i dream: of pure total happiness.
i wonder: if I'll achieve that dream
i want: to take my kids to a Disneyland Resort Hotel Vacation
i have: no money to do this (with 3 kids.... sheeeeeeiiiitttt)
i give: money to an abused children's shelter
i fight: when i don't get chocolate
i need: to eat somemore chocolate
posted by Norman at 8:11 PM | Permalink |


  • At Tuesday, September 20, 2005 5:37:00 AM, Blogger Michael


    You are so cool. As I was laughing I could see you through my tears of joy playing all innocent as you zapped your helpless victims.

    Thanks for making my morning and the slice of you that you laid out in the meme.

    Take Care

  • At Tuesday, September 20, 2005 7:24:00 AM, Blogger Hot Biscuit

    Love your blog! Every post makes me laugh! Keep it up you are doing a great job.

  • At Tuesday, September 20, 2005 8:13:00 AM, Blogger Tammy

    You are so funny! Love the list.

    Sorry that your pen is broken :( I need to get me one of those!

  • At Tuesday, September 20, 2005 1:15:00 PM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    THAT BASTARD!! >:-O I can't believe he broke your pen.

    Here are some other office funnies:

    Act shocked, ask your co-workers if they heard. When they ask "what?", say, "About that person right down the street who got murdered." They'll look all shocked, and you say, "Yeah! They found him in a bathtub full of milk and corn flakes. They think it was a cereal killer."

    Another fake-out, yet inexpensive gag: Get a mouse cat toy from the pet store, tear off the hot pink nose, tie a long piece of thread to it (preferably the nose end), and pull it across the carpet. I bet $10 you'll have some chicken wicken up on her desk, screaming her head off. I'd do it to my roommate with spiders, but I've already played spider jokes on him, so I don't know if he'll fall for it again.

  • At Tuesday, September 20, 2005 7:54:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    Freak Magnet - I don't believe he MEANT to break it. I think it was the electricity coursing through his arm that caused it to fly!

    and Michael - I only zapped the people that DESERVED to be zapped. They're not helpless at all!!

    Biscuit & Teh - Thanks so much for giving me the praise! This is my first blog, and I've been reading a lot of other talented people's blogs (like ya'lls) and I think it's high praise that you guys give me compliments! :-)


  • At Tuesday, September 20, 2005 10:11:00 PM, Blogger Spicy Cracker

    tell it sister... it's all about the coco...

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