Monday, December 19, 2005
Ice Capades!!
The Ice Capades came to town! Yeah! "Texans on Ice!" It was absolutely crazy! It all started when I woke up this morning, to a gleaming rink of ice all over the streets. I was smart, and knew that the Ice Capades might be coming, since last night a heavy fog descended on our town. The Capades like to sneak in during the dead of night to surprise everyone with their exhibition. And what an exhibition it was! Like I said - I had an inkling that they might be coming, so I got up and was ready to leave for work at 6am. I stood out on my porch to wait for my mom to come since she watches my kids during the day. I did not wait in vain. The Ice Capades were starting! She pulled up in her van, and attempted to stop in front of our house, but slid halfway down the block. So she went around the block again and tried for another stop. Nope. Slid down the street again. Wheeee!! The third time, she actually made it, and stopped without taking out my mailbox. But then she tried to get out of the van. I heard a few footsteps, then an ominous sliding sound. In the darkness, I could make out the faint shape of my mother as she slid upright, perfect form about 10 feet out into the road. OH!! I love the Ice Capades!!

She finally stopped sliding, and began walking to my front door, but the way she was walking made her look like a character out of "SouthPark". I was giggling hysterically and finally took pity on her to help her the rest of the way up. And that was the end of Act I of the Ice Capades.

Act II took place on my drive to work. I work about 35 miles away. And NONE of the roads had been salted or sanded. All the better for the Ice Capades. I drove a sedate 25 miles an hour down the highway, and marveled at the Texans on Ice Pros who think that having a 4-Wheel drive means they can SPEED. And WOW! They were fast! Some of them didn't appreciate being slowed down by me, and showed me their fingers on their way by. Well huh... You know - it's 20 degrees outside, and if you stick one finger up in the air like that, it'll freeze. So I graciously invited them to shove that finger up where it would keep nice & warm. But of course they didn't hear me since I was in my car. I drove a little ways up, and saw one of the pros pirouetting merrily down the highway, ending up in the ditch. Heh.. I was thrilled to be able to applaud his antics as I drove by with a little toot of my horn and a cheery wave. Made my freaking day.

All in all, the Ice Capades lasted for 2 hours, as that was the length of time it took me to drive 35 miles. And the best part? It didn't get above 25 degrees today, so that meant I got to have an encore performance on my way home!

The Ice Capades has one more performance here in town before the ice rink melts off tomorrow, I can already see them resurfacing the ice as the heavy fog drifts down to cover the streets again.

Luckily - my youngest child has what appears to be Chicken Pox (did I say 'luckily'?) and I'll have to refrain from the last performance for awhile.

posted by Norman at 7:26 PM | Permalink |


  • At Monday, December 19, 2005 9:52:00 PM, Blogger pack of 2

    Aww shit...I have been here in Portland...wishing I was in the Tx heat...looks like I am no worse off here.

    People try to give me crap all the time because I have 4 wheel drive & refuse to drive like an idiot in the ice or snow. I get the middle finger from people all the time...I give it back to them though;)


  • At Tuesday, December 20, 2005 8:06:00 AM, Blogger Tammy

    Sounds like a hoot. At least when it snows here, they shut things down!

    You crack me up, girl.

  • At Tuesday, December 20, 2005 10:29:00 AM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    The ONE TIME I gave somebody the finger while driving, a cop pulled out from the side of the road and started following us.

    I was already pissed, but I would have been HOT if I had gotten a ticket that ONE FRIGGIN' TIME I do it. (You never know who has a gun and who's gonna lose it, you know)

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