Monday, November 14, 2005
They're heeeeRE!!
Now you've gotta know that I'm not making this up. It's very important for me to ask you guys to know that I'm not making this up! Very important. Terribly so. It makes me feel - not quite so crazy. (twitch twitch)

I don't care so much about what my husband thinks. Who gives a crap what he thinks!? I know he's going to laugh at me no matter what! So whatever. But last night.... OH, I'm so happy! I haven't seen the ghost in a while. I was hoping it was gone. After all, I almost torched my house with all the damn candles I had going. Can ghosts die of smoke inhalation??

But yesterday, I kept smelling smoke. Lots of it. And not candle smoke either (it wasn't a frou-frou scent). Actual honest to God smoke. I checked outside to see if there was a grass fire, but the sky was clear. I came back inside and wandered around smelling the air. Finally, my husband asked what the hell I was doing. "Smoke" I stated. "Nah - I just had a cigarette - but what are you doing?" he asked, "No Dumbass! I smell smoke! Can't you smell that?" Now I got him walking around sniffing. "Holy Shit," he said "Yeah! I can smell that!" So now we're looking around for smoke. Could never find it. Then it turned to a burning wire smell. So up to the attic my husband goes. He was looking all over for anything smoldering or smelling stronger. He could never find a source.

We made sure the fire alarms were on, and went to bed. I was halfway to la-la land, when I feel my husband bolt upright in bed. "What the FUCK?!" he muttered. I almost peed my pants. "Wha? Wha?? What do you hear??!" I hissed. "Nuthin. Stay here." And he left the room.

I could hear him scuffling around out in the house and turned to look at the clock. I heard a small sound and turned back to the door just in time to see a dark shadow slide into the bathroom. AAAH!! I KNOW THAT SHADOW! "WHERE'S MY COFFEE ASSHOLE??" I screech. My husband comes screeching back into the room. "Where is it?! " He yelled. "IN THERE! IN THE BATHROOM!" So he went running in there, to do what - I haven't a clue. What the hell do you do? Tackle it? Don't you just fall through ghosts if you try to catch them? It happens on Scooby Do...

He came back out looking pale. I asked him what woke him up in the first place, and he told me... ahem. let me quote "It touched my fuckin' face". OOOooOOOOOooooo.... So who's crazy now... huh hunny??!! HUH???!!


Either that or the mass hallucination thingie is kicking in. And that was our excitement for the night.


posted by Norman at 7:55 PM | Permalink |


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