I am Norman

Monday, January 29, 2007

Resistance is futile; I have been assimilated

Well crap. Blogger FORCED me to move to the New Blogger today.

I don't like change.

Nope.

But I don't wanna talk about that. I wanna talk about this:

My husband woke me up yesterday with the following phrase:

"Time to wake up Honey! I crapped my pants!!"

oh. wait...

I don't wanna talk about that after all.

(ok... just for a little more explanation - my whole entire family was stricken with the evil vomit bug, and it paired up with a little diarrhea. For the record - my whole family was afflicted with this, and for the record - they all learned NOT to fart when they thought they could sneak one out. For the record - I've not caught this sneaky virus yet... but as I type this, my stomach is sending me ominous sharp pains... and strangely enough, I'm scared to fart)

But again, I don't wanna talk about it.

posted by Norman at 8:55 PM

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9 Comments:

At Tuesday, January 30, 2007 5:52:00 AM, Lisa

EWWWW!!! What is this, an epidemic? Sheesh! It tried to make it's way into our house on Friday but I warded it off... I hope.

Feel better girl!
At Tuesday, January 30, 2007 7:05:00 AM, Gail S

Ummm...are you sure you haven't been drinking the Crisco?
At Tuesday, January 30, 2007 9:58:00 AM, Anonymous

Oh, no! I hope you guys feel better fast!!
At Tuesday, January 30, 2007 10:38:00 AM, Nicki

That's called sharting.
At Tuesday, January 30, 2007 12:07:00 PM, Coffeypot

So why are you blogging us and spreading it around? At my age, any fart scares me. But it does add a little excitement to my life.

It reminds me of poem: “Here I sit broken hearted. Though I had to shit, but only farted.”

Ah, for the younger days.
At Tuesday, January 30, 2007 3:39:00 PM, Erin

Wow- how come the vast majority of your recent posts revolve around the bodily functions of the nether-regions?

Sheesh, Norman!

:)
At Wednesday, January 31, 2007 5:45:00 PM, Stormieweather

Oh come on - pull up a chair and let's talk!
At Wednesday, January 31, 2007 7:48:00 PM, Norman

***FIRST*** I want everyone to be aware that this is the SECOND time I have answered all these comments, but this stupid NEW BLOGGER took them away because I was signed in to Google with my REAL NAME account (which precious few people have access too). So AFTER I typed all my crap, it told me to switch accounts, and ZAPPED all my answers...DOOOOOH!!!

OK. TRYING THIS AGAIN:

Lisa - Yes!! it's an epidemic. For God's Sake - Don't come to Amarillo!! SAVE YOURSELF!

Gail - NO. I have NOT been partaking of the Crisco. However -i DID happen to receive a new bottle of the Pampered Chef Garlic Infused Canola Oil in the mail today... it smells YUMMY! (I get the new stuff early 'cuz I sell Pampered Chef!!)

Stacie - Thanks!! We're all starting to fell better, although my stomach is still a little jiggly.

FM - Yes, and my brother in law had the exact same affliction!! Oh - and I have an email to send you later (no...not of someone sharting!!). Watch for it!

Coffeypot - LOL!! I'll have to use that saying on my little bird from the previous post!!

Little Miss - hmmm.. Then I'm guessing you don't want to hear about the guy at my work that dropped a nasty in the shower and got caught trying to push it down the drain with his foot! So don't worry!! I won't tell you about it!! BUT!! If you go back thru my ENTIRE blog, you'll find that quite a few of my posts deal with bodily functions and/or fluids. It's what's happening around me. SAVE ME!! HEEEEELP!!!

Stormieweather - No really!! I don't wanna!!! ewwwww!!!
At Thursday, February 01, 2007 10:48:00 AM, Wide Lawns

First of all - hate the new blogger too. I hate change. Its awful.

Second - Ive spent the past month petrified of getting this damned stomach virus thats going around. Im scared Im going to get it on vacation next month, which would be really bad.

Third - Norman, youve really scared me away from having children. You know what though, it isnt just you - its all people who have kids and blog. It really seems like all kids do is puke. Norman, is this true? I mean, do kids get stomach viruses EVERY YEAR??? How often would you say, does the average child vomit per year? I simply can not get over my vomit-phobia enough to create another human being who is going to torture me for 18 years with monthly regurgitation!!!!