Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Embarrassing but what the hey - here it is:
I have to go to Albuquerque tomorrow, so I thought I would leave you guys with this. I know you'll love it... a ghost post.

For you new people who don't know about my ghost, click on the blinkie in my sidebar, you'll get the listing of all the 'ghost posts'...

Now, this one is embarrassing for me, but what the hell. I don't know you guys. You guys don't know me, and this is the blogging world, right? We're supposed to be able to spill our guts out to complete & utter strangers without batting an eye. I mean - seriously - would you really walk up to people you don't know in the street and say "Let me tell you about this farting contest my husband & I had last night... " (yeah - see last post)

Anyway, On with the occurrence!

I was on my way home from work when I got a call from my husband. "Hello! We're all on the way to my parent's, so we'll see you when you get home from school" uhhhhhh - "That's great hunny. Don't you remember that I hate being home alone?" "Well, but it's daylight, and I thought it was just nighttime that you don't like...." his voice trails off as he starts to realize that OOPS I'm scared of ghosts at ANYTIME during the day. "That's all right - I'll just run in and grab my books and go. Have a great time ." (I'm being sarcastic - I avoid my in-laws at all expense)

So herein I make mistake number 1

I drink a 20 oz coke on my way home. It's a 35 mile drive. By the time I got home - my bladder is FULL. Now I don't need to just venture about 6 steps into the house to retrieve my books, I need to go ALLTHEWAYTOTHEBACKTOPEE.

And that's when I make mistake number 2, 3, 4 and 5

#2 - I closed the garage door. No clear shot out of the house
#3 - Decide I need to change into jeans. I'm facing 4 hours of algebra, I'm thinking I need to be comfy
#4 - Decide I should touch up my makeup since I think I look pale because I've got a cold
#5 - Figure out that I need to pee AGAIN because after the 3rd kid, my bladder is shot

OK. Got it? Where were we... mistake number 5?? Right! Mistake #5.... I'm sitting there - doing #1 (heeeheee), when I hear my kids bedroom door shut. It doesn't slam, like a draft caught it, and it shut, but it shuts as if someone was trying to hold the door but it made a noise anyway. I froze. I think my pee turned to ice cubes - but who knows? I sure don't because every ounce of my being was focused in on that door shutting. These thoughts went through my head in two seconds flat: "I'mherealoneandIknownoonecameinbecausethedoorsarelockedandI
shutthegaragedoorand....oh FUCK! Ihearfootstepsonthecarpetand..." that was it. I was GONE. I launched myself off the toilet, grabbing a handful of tp on my way out of the bathroom. I had to pass the kid's rooms on my way out, and I did that lightning quick - but I did have time to notice that the door which was open when I went IN the bathroom was now shut. I noticed all this on my way to the garage which seemed an impossibly long way away. Hmmm.. maybe that's because my feet were shackled by my jeans and I was moving like Morticia Addams, only fast.

Finally.. FINALLY I made it to the garage. I yanked open the door and automatically just reached up and whacked the garage door opener. Only to realize that I'm still holding a wad of toilet paper, and my jeans are around my ankles. The door was going up up up and I was bending down, wrestling with my jeans which seem to have gotten all twisted somehow in my mad dash from the bathroom. I hobbled around, trying to catch my balance and yank up my jeans when I notice - my neighbor. Looking at me.

oyyyyyy. Ghost be damned - I jumped back into my house - fastened up - discarded the toilet paper which I'm not certain I used and sat on the chair for a second. I could feel my face pulsing from the amazing red color it had become. I sat for maybe about 15 or 20 seconds when I hear a door shut again followed by a swhooshing sound. My eyes grew round and I don't really remember getting up this time. I just remember flying OUT of my house and into the back alley. And there's my neighbor again. He's just looking baffled. "What the?? Are you okay? Can I call someone for you?" The whole time he's asking me this, he's backing away - step by step. I don't think - after he saw me in my undies - that he needs to affirm his thinking that I'm insane by my telling him about the ghost. Do you?
posted by Norman at 8:26 PM | Permalink |


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