Saturday, January 07, 2006
I HATE HIM! I Harbor Intense Feelings of Dislike
For the past few days, my kids have been sick and I've had virtually no help from the guy that's supposed to be my husband. He's utterly worthless at times. When I first began blogging, I was initially attracted to the site "100 Reasons Why I hate my husband" (which is now 'defunct'). When reading that blog, it seemed as if I'd previously lived all the reasons that she had posted in one way or another. Now, while my husband is not as bad as this woman's husband (her replacement blog) , he IS a close second. Really.

He 'forgets' everything
He only does something if it benefits him in the long run
He has no clue how disgusting some of his habits are
He thinks he's smarter than everyone
He cannot accept responsibility for his actions

Oh. I could go on and on, but it's pissing me off the more I type.

Last night, after being thoroughly exhausted from the past two nights, I climbed into bed and tried to go to sleep. Sure enough, after about an hour, I was awakened by a plaintive little voice whispering "daddy... daddy! Daddy?? Daddy!" but 'daddy' doesn't move. I sat up in bed and looked over to the door. "What's up sweetie? Did you get sick again?" it's my little boy. "No. I just want daddy to come to my room and check my closet" (Monster hunting. It's daddy's job) But apparently, my husband didn't bother to wake up. I conquered any wayward monsters, and put him back to bed. I went back into our room and tried to go back to sleep. Now the baby starts crying. She still sleeps in our room until she begins to sleep consistently through the night. At that time, we'll move her into her older sister's room, but for now, she's stuck with us. So, she's about 3 feet from our bed, and crying. My husband doesn't stir. He's out. I layed there a few minutes and hoped she would go back to sleep but nothing doin'. So I picked her up, got her a bottle and soothed her back to sleep. My husband just lays there like a slug and keeps snoring. Prick.

He KNOWS I've been operating on no sleep for the past few days. He KNOWS this. And he bitches every morning about how tired he is. Then when he gets home, he loves to play with either his new iPod, or play his fucking video games. It's like being married to a 15 year old. No sense of responsibility. If one of the kids dares bother him while he's playing some game called 'halo' or whatever, he gets absolutely pissy with them, and irate that they've asked him a question.

But this morning.... the baby woke up way early. Now generally, his one redeeming factor on the weekends is that he'll get up early with the kids, allowing me to sleep in to...oh- let's say 7:30am. But this morning, he wouldn't get up. So now I'm awake at 5:00am, with the kids. On about 3 hours of sleep. While he's been fucking snoring all night long. I'd had it. I just blew. I picked up our daughter, and left the room, but not before I'd slammed the bedroom door hard enough to rattle the walls. Heh. Felt good. He emerged from the room and asked ME "What the hell's your problem?" I let him know I didn't appreciate his lack of assistance with the kids. You know what he said? "You didn't wake me up. How was I supposed to know the kids were crying?" WWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTT????????????

Do we not sleep in the same room? Was my four year old not inches from his head trying to wake him up?? How is it that I'll wake up to kids crying but not my husband?

You know.. I'll say this. If I was a stay at home mom, this would not be an issue. I wouldn't be bitching at all about any of this. But I'm not. I work just as many hours outside of the home, if not more, than he does. I believe the parenting duties should be shared EQUALLY between us, and not slanted to some old-fashioned ideal of "that's a mother's job". That idea is just bullshit. We both work full-time, these are BOTH of our kids.

I'm thinking that if I have to do everything on my own, I should just ditch the dead weight, and keep paddling with a lighter load.

pissed-off norm
posted by Norman at 8:00 AM | Permalink |


  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 8:54:00 AM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    Wow. Hope you feel better after letting that out.

    Hope noone needs to bail you out of jail for killing him anytime soon.

    Jeez, Norm. I'd never thought you'd get that angry.

  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 9:25:00 AM, Blogger pack of 2

    Sorry about your hubby Norm. I also think that parenting should be equally divided between both parents. I know alot of women that bitch about the same things. I'm not sure what it is about most guys that makes them "unable" to hear things such as their children in the middle of the night. I bet he's gonna have a nice peaceful weekend with you. HA!!!!


  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 9:49:00 AM, Blogger JD's Rose

    I agree. Parenting should be equal... I'd be ripping the sheets out from under him next time... then see if he doesn't wake up!

  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 10:00:00 AM, Blogger Spicy Cracker

    Oh man...I would've done more than slam some doors. We don't have kids but I can't get him to pick up socks will out a constant reminder. I love my husband and I'm luckier than most but there are days I'm like, "don't you have any home training?"


  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 10:10:00 AM, Blogger momyblogR

    I'm with ya baby! I remember those days ALL to well. I didn't have as hard just because I was and still am a stay at hom Mom. But the fact that they didn't help when you can't even think straight for lack of sleep? Well THAT just pisses me off too.

    I've told my husband several times, "I swear, I'm a single parent!" UGH!

    Hang in there girl!

  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 10:51:00 AM, Blogger Kim

    I agree with you completely. I am a stay-at-home-mom as of 2 months ago.....and I try to do my best with all the stuff around the house, but when it comes to the kid, I still expect 50/50 from my husband. I do night duty (which thankfully isn't that frequent), But this is his child too and he needs to be involved.

    I think almost all of them are that thick-headed when it comes to matters like that....even though I expect 50/50 I seldom get it.

  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 12:41:00 PM, Blogger FulltimeEverything

    I've been there too. We just had our 4th baby in September, and we are still up at least twice in a night for feedings or just because he's not tired.

    Just this week I slammed a cookie sheet down on the floor because after an 11 hour day at work, the kitchen a royal wreck and everyone hungry and wanting dinner, he was sitting in his chair, remote in hand, feet up and oblivious to the world around him. Then has nerve to tell me about his drilling and heavy lifting and NINE hour day that he put in. It was over the edge for me.

    Then ... later that night, he was headed out the door to put gas in the car, and he says to me ... "I love you this much" and holds up his hands showing about 6 inches of space. Not impressed by the gesture, I said "Oh really, just that much huh?" He says back to me, "Yeah, that's how big my heart is." He leaves and I burst into tears. Even after all the fussing, he still has the presence of mind to say something really touching.

    Occasionally they do have redeeming qualities, even though it seems like we don't see them near enough.

  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 1:41:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    Freak - you have no idea of just how angry I can get. And it's generally my husband that brings this behavior out in me...

    Angie - oh yeah. He's decided to hang out outside with the kids today while I pack up Christmas decorations. Mind you... he NEVER goes outside with the kids. Too busy playing on his computer games. But I guess he opted the kids over being inside to hear my constant non-stop bitching. The sad part is the kids are eating up the attention. They are playing soccer, red-light green-light & tennis.

    Kylz. The funny thing about your solution is this: If he were asleep, and the bedsheets caught on fire, and I decided to rip the sheets out from under him, he a)would not wake up and b)wonder why the hell in the morning the sheets are burned and c) would ask me why I didn't wake him up if the sheets were on fire. Just an example. He's an ass and I'm not happy with him!

    Spicy - not only does my husband not have any 'home-training', but apparently my mother in law forgot to teach him proper eating manners as well. But that's another post. (evil laugh)

    Mommyblogr - I feel like a single parent to FOUR kids most days. :-(

    Kim - I wish I could be a stay-at-home mom! I used to be, with my oldest. I stayed home with her for one heavenly year, before my husband lost his job (which according to him, wasn't his fault) and I had to go to work.

    Fulltimeeverything - I've done the cookiesheet thing!! And you just described a similar scenario here at my house! Except mine never turns around and says the right thing. Every time he opens his mouth, he's bitching about something or another

    TO ALL - Thanks for the show of support. I'm afraid I'm very tired right now, and while I'm sniping about my husband and his incessant bitching, I'm afraid I'm doing a lot of bitching as well. But dammit! I feel like I deserve to bitch every now and then! We've split up in the past, only to reconcile after about 6 months of separation. He seems to be falling deeper into his old habits that drove us apart and doesn't seem to care. I don't have the energy or inclination to try to pull him out this time.

    Sorry ya'll have to 'see' me this way!

  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 2:36:00 PM, Blogger pack of 2

    Damn Norman~...that sucks so bad. Sorry you are so pissed off. I have any idea)
    Anyway, I hope you are better.



  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 4:12:00 PM, Blogger Tammy

    Norm, I am so sorry. But I feel ya sweetheart. I've been there too (and am still there most days).

    If I were you, I would have put my foot in his ass at 5:00 a.m. to make him get up with the baby. There is NO WAY I would have rolled over and gotten out of bed. You have much more patience than me, sister.

    Oh, and you are more than welcome to join us in Austin. We'd love to have you! Do you want me to add you to the list?

  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 5:34:00 PM, Anonymous Cindy

    OMG you just depicted my household at times. You tell em girl. For all working moms with lazy ass husbands!

  • At Saturday, January 07, 2006 11:48:00 PM, Blogger Michelle

    I hear ya, sweetie. I think the prob w/ my husband is that I was a stay at home mom and he got spoiled. Now it just comes naturally for him not to help me out when I'm trying to get 3 kids out the door in the morning.

  • At Sunday, January 08, 2006 5:35:00 AM, Blogger Linda and Denny

    I have to admit, my son's father always helped me even though I got to be a stay-at-home mom for two years. Unfortunately, I just stopped loving him. You have to ask yourself, will I be better off emotionally and mentally, with him or without him? But only after you've had some sleep. Good luck, sweetie.

  • At Sunday, January 08, 2006 7:03:00 AM, Blogger Heidi

    Oh I can just feel your frustration..I am so sorry...

    Hugs to you Norman..I hope thing improves.

  • At Sunday, January 08, 2006 8:18:00 PM, Blogger Aric Blue

    Wow, you could almost be my wife! (I mean, I play videogames a lot)

    Only difference is that my wife and I don't sleep at the same time, so when she's sleeping I watch the kid, and vice versa. Works good.

  • At Saturday, January 14, 2006 12:36:00 PM, Blogger Livey

    Don't worry hun, I'll take the kids when you're in jail for killing him ;)

  • At Wednesday, January 18, 2006 7:24:00 AM, Blogger Nap Queen

    AMEN! If you work just as many or more hours, then hubby better move his ass. My husband plays games too, and it gets on my nerves. I told him I think he's an addict :)

  • At Sunday, January 22, 2006 6:11:00 PM, Blogger kateysmith

    okay, having 4 kids myself I say wake the bastard up! I am finally discovering that men won't do it unless they are ordered to. Sure, we don't want to appear bitchy, but they think we are no matter what.

    (((hugs))) to you. Just so you know I am married to a golf addict and I get NO free time. I can completely relate to your post.

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