Thursday, January 26, 2006
Didja miss me??!

I had a quick little road trip to Albuquerque to make. You know, it's amazing how quickly a 250 mile trip will go when you don't have to stop at every single McDonald's along the way. I had so much fun. I got to relive my youth! Ahhhhhh - no kids in the car, peace & quiet until..... I dug out my Guns & Roses CDs. All of them! I was flying down the highway, and I had the stereo cranked up. I had forgotten how much I loved Mr. Brownstone, and Night Train. So I jacked the volume up a little more, and just about died of bliss when "Sweet Child of Mine" came on. I was so cool. Until (always gotta be an "until", huh?) I noticed the truckers were laughing at me. No lie. There were laughing AT me, not WITH me. You see, I had passed a caravan of sorts. There must have been about 20 of them in a line, and I just be-bopped by them on the road. With about 6 trucks left to pass, I noticed that one of them was waving his hand out the window with the old "Rock & Roll" sign. You know - pinky finger & index?? hmmm. Next truck up - the driver is waving & laughing... next truck... I can hear the airhorns blaring. I turned my radio down and started peering up in the cabs. They are cracking up. And then I got to thinking. Dear Lord. I must look like an idiot! Let's do a run down of what they are seeing: A 30-something year old woman in a bright yellow SUV with car seats in the back ... headbanging and singing. Yeah. I'm not so cool now. So I calmed it down and continued on in a more sedate manner. I turned down the stereo and continued singing - just not so "enthusiastically". But now I can hear myself sing, and I am TERRIBLE. I sound like Axl Rose... after he's sucked helium. It's that bad. I popped out the GNR and put in an Enya CD.

I was running through some of the comments that were made while I was gone, and I found an interesting one... wait - all the comments are interesting - what I meant was, a slight derogatory one! get to reply in a post since this is my blog!!

Dear Anonymous.

I'm so sorry you found the content of this post objectionable.

First - I would like to tell you that I am not the original author of that joke. Therefore, I wouldn't like to alter out the curse words since that wouldn't be fair to the original author. If he wrote it that way - that's the way he wanted it to be. I just posted it as I received it. I didn't write it.

Second - I have never declared this blog to be a non-curse word zone. I swear all the time in this blog. I don't mind that you came and visited, and I don't mind that you posted a comment. I LOVE comments. You have every right to post what you want in here. Just like I do....
I wouldn't call that a Rated R post. I'll agree with PG-13 though! In fact - I think I'll go ahead & put a rating on this entire blog of PG-13.

So just be aware, that there will be cussing and posts about drinking & farting. Otherwise -- WELCOME!

Also - I would like to tell everyone that while I may cuss on this blog I do not do not do not expose my kiddos to that kind of language. In fact, it may surprise you that these are some of the no-no words in my house:

Shutup - Bad word. Under no circumstances is this word allowable. The correct way to tell someone to shutup is to say "Hush" "Be Quiet" or "Stop Talking Please"

Fart - Bad word. The correct terms are (in no particular order) toot, gas, tootie, shewie, stinker, stepped on a bug, poot

Stupid - We just don't use this word. period

Dumb - see "Stupid"

Butt - Bad Word. The preferred synonyms are: Hiney, bottom, tush, keister, bo-bo, fess, duff.

See?? Strict - aren't I?

Oh well. The kids will cuss. I'm not stupid. I've already caught Ashy using the word "fart". But at least that's the extent of her "cussing" for now. (She had to write "I will not say fart" 100 times)

Ok. That's enough posting for me for now! I screwed up one of my nails while I was in Albquerque, and everytime I type it hits the key and tries to pop off. I need to go find some superglue!

Peace Out Ya'll!

posted by Norman at 7:30 PM | Permalink |


  • At Thursday, January 26, 2006 11:03:00 PM, Blogger pack of 2

    LOL...I'll bet you were a sight to see for the truckers...made their day:)

    Ok, so I just want to get the rules correct.
    ARE we allowed to burb here at your blog too? If not, I don't think I can play with you anymore.

    LOL...if THAT post upset them...please don't send them to my house...LMAO...I say that stuff all the time:)

    We love you sister! Say what you want on YOUR blog!


  • At Thursday, January 26, 2006 11:25:00 PM, Anonymous asterismos

    that is hilarious!

    In our household, we use the word pooty! fart is just so icky sounding! (but hey on here, in the blog world anything goes; it's your blog, you make the rules)

    The truckers must have just liked your awesome yellow SUV.

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 7:07:00 AM, Blogger Michael

    You were gone?

    Take Care

    ...just teasing and look no cusses from me.

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 7:29:00 AM, Blogger Tammy

    Okay, did someone leave you an ugly comment?

    I cuss all the time and my son may blurt out a "bullshit" occasionally, but he knows its wrong and he doesn't do it often (unless, of course mom's not around!!:))

    Love ya, Norm.

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 10:26:00 AM, Blogger Greg the Surly

    Nice, I've no doubt you've been the topic on many CB radios. Your fame is boundless. Can I also tell anonymous to go suck a fat baby's dick? or would that be rude? Perhaps I've misunderstood all together. Or, maybe we should consider rating every post on every page of the internet to help those inadequate parents who are unable communicate with their own children. Parents who find it more important to find issues in which they can judge others; than spend precious time their children talking about consequences of Sex and Drugs instead of hoping they'll learn about it in school.

    Sorry. Tangent.

    Welcome Back Norm.

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 10:34:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    Don't ge me wrong. I find your blog interesting and entertaining. I do take it as "adult" reading.

    I read the blog as if someone is speaking to me in conversation. And as for me, I don't use expletives in everyday conversation. Exceptions would be (surprise or anger); when I smash my finger, someone cuts me off (driving), ect. But all in all I believe in self control and getting your point across/story told minus obscenities. Regardless, it's your blog and I'm just leaving a comment.

    Regarding the PG-13:
    IMO, the rating system is way off now days. I rember back when profanity was scarce in PG-13. I think the PG-13 nowdays would be considered an R years ago. Maybe I'm just old school.

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 10:45:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    I just read the go suck a fat baby's dick comment.


    I really didn't mean to hack anyone off. That comment was just my immediate reaction to the post.

    I'll be more careful if I post again.

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 10:57:00 AM, Blogger Greg the Surly

    I am the one that should aplogize then. I'm sorry I misunderstood. Felt kinda good though, a bit sexy even. Quick! someone pull my nipple rings

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 1:12:00 PM, Blogger Wide Lawns Subservient Worker

    Norman, I love when you cuss. If someone is offended, then they should go read something they consider more wholesome, although, honestly I think you are pretty wholesome. Except when you run outside with your pants down!

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 4:32:00 PM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    You can't say "fart" in your house?

    That'd kill me. I remember many a night at the dinner table saying, "Beans, beans, good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you fart. The more you fart, the better you feel. So eat some beans at every meal!"

    And Greg.... I'd tell you what's going through my head about those nipple rings, but that would be x-rated...

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 5:02:00 PM, Blogger Hot Biscuit

    When I was growing up we weren't allowed to say fart either. They made us say boozer. Don't know why. Its funny though because there is a girl at work with the last name boozer and I always laugh when I hear it.

    My parents were very strict. I called my sister a turd one time and had to suck on a bar of soap for 2 minutes. They'd die if they heard my potty mouth these days.

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 5:25:00 PM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    I was 16 the first time I heard my mother say the 'f' word.

    My entire world stopped, because I realized the direness of the situation.

    Since then, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've heard her say it since then and still have fingers left over.

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 8:27:00 PM, Blogger Cori

    I'd love to take a road trip with you! Damn, we'd give the truckers plenty to laugh about!

    We have the same rules about cussing and using "naughty" words. My kids realize that there are words that are "bad" and words that I just don't like them to use. I can't imagine having the kindergartener that calls his teacher a fat fucking douchebag.

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 8:37:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    Irk! Guys! My internet is acting up and I have to type this message really fast before it crashes again!

    I'm not ignoring ya'll! I'm not!

    Hopefully it will be up & working later...


  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 8:46:00 PM, Blogger Livey

    Well FUCK me running! Norm! who gives a fuck what a bunch of fucking fat ass truckers think. Enjoy life all you fucking want!
    And anyone who has a problem with it, fuck em!

    Yes it took me 5 years of therapy to say FUCK! and I'm getting my monies worth dammit!

  • At Friday, January 27, 2006 8:47:00 PM, Blogger Livey

    One more fucking thing...

    If you don't like it...


    love ya Norm!

  • At Saturday, January 28, 2006 8:29:00 AM, Blogger Norman

    Pack of 2 - What's "burb"??!! LOL - Yes - I'm afraid I did entertain the truckers at my expense!

    Asterismos - we say Pooty too!! Anything but "fart". It's just my preference to not have my kiddos say that word. I love my yellow SUV to. I never lose it in the parking lot!

    Michael - yes. I was gone. Thanks for missing me - punk.

    Tammy - no, no ugly comment - just a statement that they didn't like the language. They still thought the post was funny!

    Greg! - shame on you!!! LOL! *slaps Greg and pulls his nipple rings. (ooooo. that was FUN!)

    Wide Lawns - I don't think they were mad - I think they were just making a statement.

    Freak - Nope. Can't say fart! But they do try to be creative as a result. Ethan told me just the other day that an invisible poop escaped from his underwear...and I pulled greg's nipple rings!! HHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA. Also - I can count on one hand the times my dad has cussed. It's always so shocking when he does!

    Biscuit - I had to suck on a bar of palmolive once. I've never gotten that taste out of my mouth! (ewww..)

    Cori - pack up and let's go!! We can do the Albuquerque thing again and hit the casinos at the reservations... drink firewater and such!! LOL

    Livey - LOL! I can always count on you to back me up!! I would love to see you in a car with a bunch of truckers around! roflmao!

    Now - Anonymous -
    Sorry that greg was rude. I slapped him around and pulled his nipple rings. I don't mind you posting here at all, and I hope you come back to do some more. I did slap Greg around & pull his nipple rings, but I have to admit it was kinda fun. (;-D) I was just trying to let you know that there WILL be cussing on this blog. You can also say whatever you want... just know that I reply to ALL comments. You don't need to be "more careful" before you reply.

    But I can see that since I highlighted my response to you in a post that it might have caused some people to think that I was offended. Which I wasn't. I just figured it was a good opportunity to let people know that this blog will contain cussing. I guess I should have just kept it in the comments section... huh? Anyway, since your name was listed as "anonymous" I didn't think it'd be as big a deal as if it had been an actual name/link. So - sorry I made you feel uncomfortable! Please do come back!

    Norman - who feels bad that she made someone upset (cause she's actually a nice person - mostly)

  • At Saturday, January 28, 2006 11:50:00 AM, Blogger pack of 2

    LOL@ the image I've got going with you rocking out with the truckers watching. I agree that this is your blog and you should always be able to say what you want in any way that you choose. We love you Norm.


  • At Saturday, January 28, 2006 9:08:00 PM, Blogger Aric Blue

    Fuck the anonymous poster. They don't even have the balls to post with their real fake name!

  • At Sunday, January 29, 2006 2:01:00 PM, Blogger Candace

    Wow - you have he same bad words we do. :o) But, yeah, things can get a little rowdy in Blogland, LOL! Sometimes you need to let it out SOMEWHERE! :o) Well, I do, anyway. . .

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