Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Lights! Camera! Action!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got arrested FIVE TIMES yesterday!! It was an honest to God HOOT!

Here - let me start at the beginning...

I got to work yesterday, dropped by my bosses office to do my obligatory brown-nosing when she dropped this on me:

"The tile guys still aren't finished at my house, can we film our video at your house today?"
"Ummmmmmmm.... yeah - ok....." I'm thinking about the living room where it looks like a bomb exploded in my kid's toy box. "Sure - as long as I get to leave NOW to clean my hellhole house." "Great!" chirped my boss "See ya later!" So jiggityjog, back home I went. (That's a 35 mile drive, I wish she would have called me before I left...)

So now I'm cleaning my house frantically so that we can film what is essentially a training video for the Panhandle Area law enforcement officers. I wasn't involved in the 'pre-production' of this little gem - so I had no clue what to expect. Hoo-ah

I had just stashed the last of the legos when the bell rang. Camera crew was here! They did all their little mysterious light checks and decided that Yes - it would suit.. (thanks) my house had plenty of open space and light. I was chatting with them when the police cars and sheriff dudes pulled up. The sheriff's office was kind enough to loan out two of their cruisers and 4 of their Sheriffs. While we were talking, I noticed a few cars drive by sllooooooowly. So I invited them in. We went over the little scenario - and the gist of it was: They would knock on my door. When I opened it, I was to act surprised/shocked/confused, they would serve a warrant, cuff me and search the house. Ready? OK!
"Um... why are they wearing those little black ski masks?! " I yelped. All the sheriffs now looked like ninjas. "Well - we're supposed to conceal our faces during a raid" they explained. "Now.. wait a minute guys. I didn't get a chance to tell ANY of my neighbors not to be worried - and this is really going to freak their shit" Now all the guys looked crushed. I guess they don't get much opportunity to wear their little hoods and were really excited. "Besides - this isn't a drug raid we're doing!! You only wear them for drug raids right!?" They ended up having to ditch their hoodies.

Now we were ready. They positioned themselves outside my house and knocked on the door. I played my little role PERFECTLY, let them handcuff me and 'search' my house. Then when they 'found' what they were looking for, they marched me outside to the cruiser and put me in. We repeated this little routine five times. (See I really was arrested five times!)
It was amazing how the traffic around my house doubled and it was even more amazing how slowly the cars went when they saw all the guys wearing "SHERIFF" jackets with a handcuffed chick and a camera crew. One guy even called out as he passed by "What channel will this be on!?" And my boss - cut up that she is- replied "CNN!! Make sure you watch at 9pm!! This is HUGE!!"

I live in a really quiet neighborhood (aside from my drug-running neighbor, but that's another post) and things like this just don't happen. There were little groups of people standing around and just watching me. It was hilarious. I begged my boss to let me "pretend" to escape and start running at one of the groups, but she nixed that idea. (This is Texas and one of them might have had a gun and tried to help the Sheriffs! LOL)

Once we got the 'house shots' done, they decided to film the 'chase' sequence. I was to drive down the street, and ignore the cruiser that was behind me, and try to avoid being pulled over. We coordinated where I would finally be 'stopped' and we started filming again. What.a.riot. Now by no means were any of us speeding, because school had just let out, the traffic was still kinda heavy (from the people being nosy) and we weren't filming a high-speed chase, just a car refusing to pull over right away. This, of course, attracted more attention because we're in a residential area. We sat in the middle of the road for about 15 minutes after doing the 'chase' scene while the camera guy shot a bunch of different angles. I could see all the cars turning around up the road and doubling back for another look. So when the next bunch of cars came through, I suddenly flopped over my driver's side door (from inside) and hung upside down trying to look like I was dead. I could hear the approaching car stop suddenly and a woman yelled out "NORMAN!? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" ROFLMAO!! My nosy neighbor.

I had so much fun.... The whole thing took about 3 hours, and the whole training video will be 10 minutes long - max. But dammit! I was a STAR for the day! My first starring role! LOL I'd better be able to get out of some traffic tickets for this little video!

I had lots of people coming by the house last night to 'make sure we were okay'. Too freaking funny. We've lived here for 4 years, and that's the FIRST time I met most of these people!

So - you see - I really did get arrested 5 times. I was hoping the presence of all the LawEnforcement people would freak the crap out of my next-door neighbor who really is an honest to God drug runner. So far - he STILL hasn't come back to his house!! I think he ran when he saw all the activity! BONUS!
posted by Norman at 7:09 PM | Permalink |


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