Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Quickie!
Ha. You nasty pervs that think this is a sex post can just move right along. Although....this does have to do with sweaty bodies...mmmmMMMmmmmMMMMM....

Not. I mean, yeah - it's got to do with sweaty bodies, but not the good ones. Not like the glistening rock hard bodies of hot men (wait...I'm envisioning the glistening rock hard bodies of hot men..... )

Ok. I just snapped out of it.

No. This is the sweaty body of a 50ish year old flabby man. Gross.

Now - If you're fiftyish, flabby and a man who happens to sweat a lot, don't worry. I'm not talking about YOU.

Nope. I'm talking about ONE man in particular. My neighbor-from-across-the-street. Him. Not you. So stop sulking.

But look. I really need to share this with you guys because it traumatized me so much, that I just can not suffer this in silence. I must share. And you guys are the lucky ones.

Tonight, I was at the sink trying to do dishes, when I noticed my neighbor-from-across-the-street in his yard doing yard work. No biggie. Then he turned around to pick something up off the grass, and I saw it.

He had the absolute sweatiest butt crack that I've even seen. A ginormous wet spot going from his waistband and disappearing down towards his....stuff.

I gagged. Gagged again, and tried to shut my eyes to the sight. But it's burned in my brain now forever.

And in the words of the illustrious Tammy: I can't like that.

OK!! I gotta go pack now and fill out an application for the VLC!!

Toodles!
 
posted by Norman at 7:40 PM | Permalink |


4 Comments:


  • At Thursday, April 05, 2007 7:30:00 AM, Blogger Lisa

    Ewww! The visual. I think I need to stab my eyes out now after reading this.

     
  • At Thursday, April 05, 2007 10:48:00 AM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    Ha! I can beat that.

    Maybe I'll write a blog about it. I've been stretching for stuff to write about anyway.

     
  • At Thursday, April 05, 2007 3:42:00 PM, Blogger Leonesse

    I will take a visual ANY day over the smelly people I have to deal with.

    Imagine, if you will (and I suggest you don't) a big, hairy dude comes to ask you a question. Now, it is fairly obvious that he doesn't change clothes or sheets very often by the smell, then imagine he rests his arm upon shelf beside him and almost OVERWHELMS you with body odor AND YOU HAVE TO SIT THERE AND CHAT with your face at armpit level while trying not to breath. Not bad enough yet? How about when you start to TASTE it? Can you just vomit then? NO. It was a serious assault on my olfactory senses and took every effort of my being to try to carry on a professional conversation while not breathing and barely holding in dry heaves. You should try it sometime. UGH.

    At least we didn't have to view it and you could just close your eyes. You weren't actually having to smell his nasty butt crack. EWWWW.

    ...hmmm, now wondering if that is why I went home ill later that afternoon? sigh.

     
  • At Thursday, April 12, 2007 9:24:00 AM, Anonymous Stacie

    Oh, Norman. TMI! ROFLMAO!!

     
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