Friday, May 04, 2007
The circus is in town! And it's at my house!
First - if you haven't voted for Deonna today... GO DO IT!! (Remember, you can vote once a day!)


Thanks for that! Now for today's post:

My mother called me completely in hysterics. I thought she was crying when I answered the phone, but Nah. She was laughing. It took awhile to get the entire story out of her, but once I did, I figured it was blog-worthy and decided to share with you.

Now - you guys know that I'm trying to sell my house. And what happens when you try to sell your house? You start noticing all the crappy little things that don't work the way they are supposed to so you have to go into frickin' DEBT in order to repair all the things that don't really matter but matter to the picky little prospective homebuyer. I'm done with my run on sentence now. Anyway - the fix of the day was the sprinkler system. The stupid system works, but there are some valves that need replacing, and damn!! That's EXPENSIVE to have the sprinkler system people come out and fix it. We decided to save $750 and do it ourselves. (meaning: My husband will fix it... not me. I'm not allowed to do anything that requires the use of hand tools or electric drills. Long story.)

So first thing in the morning, my husband went out and began to dig in the approximate location of the sprinkler system valves. He dug. And he dug. And then he dug somemore. He dug a hole 3 FEET DEEP before he found the stupid system. So then, exhausted from all the digging, he began to try to replace the valves. Now - this isn't something you (well, me...) really THINK about, but I guess it makes sense... Sprinkler systems have electrical wires. He was trying to determine which wires were live and was too tired to go get his live-wire-checker-thingamabob. He decided the best course of action would be to just quickly tap the wire to see if it was live. While sitting in a puddle of water.

Meanwhile - back at the house, my mother heard a strange sound. Kind of like the sound a chicken would make if you sat on it. Then she heard a sound that was like a chicken would make if it was attempting to get out from underneath whatever was sitting on top of it. While she was trying to figure that out - a lot of things happened simultaneously.

I'm not kidding.

First - Ethan was standing at the window looking out into the back yard at the chicken his father, and he began yelling. Avery. noticing that her brother was freaking out, decided to join in with a sympathy screech.

Then the doorbell rang. My mother switched course from the screaming kids to the front door, because she could see the kiddos were okay and figured they were just making noise. Standing at the door, was:

1. our Realtor with a family - all with a panicked look on their faces
2. the Orgrow man (that's the lawn guy that was here to fertilize)
3. My husband's grandmother
4. Our insurance company.

The hell?

The realtor told my mother that he didn't think anyone was home, and decided to show our house...unannounced. He showed up and they proceeded to check out the exterior of the house first. They rounded the corner and opened the gate to the backyard, where they were confronted with the sight of a mud-drenched madman yawping and dancing around the backyard. He said he thought we had chickens. They just wanted to make sure everything was okay before they called the police.

About this time - the Orgrow guy said that he was going to start fertilizing the backyard but became frightened at the sight of the weird guy sitting in the hole in the ground, crying.

My husband's grandmother pushed her way through the crowd at the door and ran to her grandson (my husband). Then she yelled at him for playing with electricity... and didn't he learn his lesson the first time??!! Apparently, the electric shock he received as a child was jolted from his brain at the time of infliction. I don't know...but I would THINK you would remember a lesson such as that....

The insurance people told us they were making an inspection call on our house because they received notification that our property value had jumped drastically and they wanted to make sure they weren't insuring the Taj Mahal with the way our taxes were figured. They offered to come back though. I think the chicken-squawking, mud-covered madman in the back yard unsettled them terribly.

And I missed all the fun 'cause I was at work.

But it made for a terrific story, no?!
posted by Norman at 6:27 PM | Permalink |


  • At Friday, May 04, 2007 9:49:00 PM, Anonymous Evyl Fashionista


    I finally read through all of your blog and I can honestly say I've enjoyed it all. :-) I found you via "Wide Lawns" and your life sounds as delightfully insane as mine. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*

    Best of luck with selling your home. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the spirits stay put.

  • At Saturday, May 05, 2007 6:33:00 AM, Blogger Lisa

    I suppose it could have been worse. I'm not sure how, but it could have been. Right? LOL

  • At Saturday, May 05, 2007 8:28:00 AM, Blogger Linda and Denny

    Life is certainly always interesting at your house, Norman. Is hubby okay now?

  • At Saturday, May 05, 2007 1:09:00 PM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    Man, when I have to deal with electricity, I cut the power to the entire house - just to be safe.

  • At Saturday, May 05, 2007 9:36:00 PM, Blogger Gerald

    I don't normally curse, but if I do something stupid like touch live wires, you can hear me for miles. I fell your husbands pain. BTW, I notice they keep moving your friends name around.

  • At Sunday, May 06, 2007 8:14:00 AM, Blogger Norman

    Evyl - Hi!! Thanks for reading! I try to have fun with this blog, glad you're enjoying it.

    Lisa - Well...yeah.. I guess it could have been worse, but I'm not sure how either! LOL

    Linda - Hubby's fine, but he's currently in the doghouse with me. He told me he had to go back to San Antonio on Thursday because he needed to work all weekend long, and then I called him yesterday to see how he was doing and my brother in law answered the phone and told me that my hubs and him were currently in the middle of an "Asteroids" marathon to see who could get the highest score. Jerk. Had to work my ASS...

    FM - But if he had cut the electricity, then he couldn't check for live wires....DUH. (hahahahahha)

    Gerald - I noticed they move her name around too!! I think it's some sort of effort to prevent ....something. I'm not sure how it's supposed to work. But HEY!! Thanks for voting daily!

  • At Sunday, May 06, 2007 9:00:00 AM, Blogger ADW

    Ha, ha, ha...

    By themselves, each individual part of the story would be "pretty" funy, but together... truly a masterpiece. I heart you.

  • At Sunday, May 06, 2007 1:27:00 PM, Blogger Anonymous Farm Wife

    Norman - I love your blog. You are such a joy to know. I will miss you when you leave us...But now I know I can keep in touch. I missed voting yesterday but did it today.

    tell your hubby to quit being so electrifying. Your jewelry lady.(TD)

  • At Monday, May 07, 2007 6:37:00 AM, Blogger Marni

    That sounds like something that would happen at Pug Manor! I swear it does!

    Oh,yeah! I voted, too. Any idea how she's doing?

  • At Monday, May 07, 2007 11:20:00 AM, Blogger Packof2

    LOL...that poor boy. Sorry you missed all the action...that sounds film worthy:)
    It does make for a great post though!!


  • At Tuesday, May 08, 2007 6:22:00 AM, Blogger Teri

    I'm with Freak on this one. I shut off all the circuit breakers. Makes me feel more comfortable.

  • At Wednesday, May 09, 2007 1:53:00 AM, Blogger Ace

    Did she win?

    Oh, and when you're done moving or whatever... TAG!

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