I am Norman

Friday, October 07, 2005

5 Truths and a Lie

Ever played this? I'll give you six statements about me. Five of them will be true, and one of them will be a lie. You need to try to guess the lie.. Ready?

1. Brad Pitt's stunt double asked me out once
2. I'm scared of stuffed animals
3. My real name is Stephanie
4. I type 100 wpm
5. I live next door to a murdering drug runner
6. I stuff my bra

Ok... Guess which one of those 6 statements is a lie!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way - some of you were asking how I became Norman.... You can find that post here. I'm trying to figure out how to put that link in my profile, so right now I'm currently dicking around with my template. If my page appears jacked up, please understand that I am experiencing technical difficulties (aka brainfart) and our technicians are currently working on the problem... (aka... HONEEEYYY!! I SCREWED UP MY WEB PAGE AGAAAAAIN!!)

Oh - and I received this today, thought I needed to share:

The Redneck Love Poem

Susie Lee done fell in love
She planned to marry Joe
She was so happy 'bout it all
She told her pappy so

Pappy told her, "Susie Gal
You'll have to find another
I'd just as soon yo' ma don't know
But Joe is yo' half brother"

So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will
But after telling Pappy this
He said, "There's trouble still"

"You can't marry Will, my gal
And please don't tell yo' mother
But Will and Joe and several mo'
I know is yo' half brother"

But Mama knew and said "My child.
Just do what makes you happy
Marry Will or marry Joe
You ain't no kin to Pappy!"

YEEEEHAAWW!! Norm!

posted by Norman at 7:21 PM

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16 Comments:

At Friday, October 07, 2005 8:46:00 PM, Michael

Obviously they are ALL true. Of course since you made us use our imagination in Full Frontal Friday, I had already imagined you stuffing yourself into your bra.

Take Care
Michael
At Friday, October 07, 2005 8:51:00 PM, Norman

hehehheeeee... nope. there IS one lie in there..

norman
At Saturday, October 08, 2005 7:55:00 AM, Anonymous

i think its #5
At Saturday, October 08, 2005 8:51:00 AM, Mise en Place

Come on! Are you kidding me with this list? LOL! I'm afraid to even guess, but I do expect an answer. SOON!
At Saturday, October 08, 2005 12:12:00 PM, Michael

I think anomymous is really the murdering drug runner and doesn't want the rest of us knowing he lives next door to Norman.

Take Care
Michael
At Saturday, October 08, 2005 12:16:00 PM, Norman

ok. let me pare it down for you...

#5 is a TRUE statement!!

Norm!
At Saturday, October 08, 2005 3:15:00 PM, Nicki

Hmmm.... based on the dream post, I'll say #1, because that would be a BITCH dream to wake up from.

I'd be killing people if I woke up from that dream.

More than your neighbor.
At Saturday, October 08, 2005 4:21:00 PM, Norman

BZZZZZZ!!!!

#1 is actually a TRUE statement, and therefore, it was my one brush with celebrity-ism!!

Hey - I actually used to be a Hottie before I got married & had kids!!

#1 is a TRUE statement

and...

JUST WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
At Sunday, October 09, 2005 10:04:00 AM, Andi

I'm going to say #2 is a lie.

I think I'm right. As a matter of fact, I KNOW I'm right! Yeah...I'm absolutely certain I'm right!! Woooohoooo! I'm right! At least I think I'm right. Gosh, I hope I'm right. I'm right, right?? Oh noooo Am I right??? OH great! I'm WRONG! I know I'm wrong! Just admit it...I'm wrong! LOL

*goes to argue with the "others" inside her*
At Sunday, October 09, 2005 10:51:00 AM, Norman

LOL!

Actually - #2 is a TRUE statement (I covered this topic in "So I'm a Freak", back in August!). I really am a-skeered of stuffed animals. I think I saw "Child's Play" one too many times!

So let's recap:

# 2 is true
# 1 is true
# 5 is true

Anyone else up for playing?
At Sunday, October 09, 2005 8:31:00 PM, Andi

OMG is #6 a lie??? Am I even allowed to play twice?? Well...even if I can't play twice...I just did! LOL

6 HAS to be a lie! My psychic guide says I'm right this time. She knows everything! She even predicted that it was going to get cold this winter! She's SO smart!!! She HAS to be right!! LOL
At Sunday, October 09, 2005 9:26:00 PM, Northwoods Woman

My first guess was #6 nobody stuffs their bran anymore, now they make those push up padded bras for the same effect.
At Sunday, October 09, 2005 10:07:00 PM, Norman

**cough cough**.

#6 is TRUE - er .. MOSTLY

I didn't think about people not counting the "push up" bras as stuffers anymore. My push up bras have inserts so you can push 'em up even more... Good golly Miss Molly! I shudder to think of where those things would be if I didn't push'em up!

NOPE - #6 is not the answer!!

norm (the push-up queen)
At Monday, October 10, 2005 7:44:00 AM, Michael

Since you typed "100 wpm" that is true. That leaves only one left.

I still say that my original answer was correct but for official guess...

#3 Stephanie is not your real name. Is really is norman and you are a cross dresser who likes to wear thongs.

Take Care
Michael
At Monday, October 10, 2005 7:55:00 AM, Norman

TADA!! That's it!!

My real name is not Stephanie, that's my friend's name!

And I'm not a cross dresser usually.

NORM!
At Friday, June 23, 2006 8:15:00 AM, Vety

The poem is hilarious, but a total ripoff from this song that my dad loved when he was younger. It's ska, and sung by someone from Jamaica. The song is called "Scandal in the family", it's hilarious, same concept except it's a son trying to marry a girl. I love the song!