Monday, January 30, 2006
New Year Wishes
I just looked at my calendar. The Islamic New Year started at sundown today. Oh joy. Oh Yippee Ki Yay.

So with that in mind, I have some New Year Wishes in mind for bin Laden and al-Zawahiri. Really!! New Year Wishes ya'll!!

Ok.. ready? My New Year wishes for both of you are:

That you DON'T die. Because we all know that dying would be a wonderful occurrence for you. You want to die because then you are MARTYRS!! Instead, I would like you to be confined in a room with...99 non-virginal women who are all on their period - simultaneously. But I don't stop my wish there. I wish that they are all gorging on baby back ribs, dripping with pork grease, of which they blatantly drip on YOU. I also envision you mistakenly eating some foods that have been fried in pork grease. Oooooo yeah. Tastes good, doesn't it?


I have one other wish for you:

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

Now if I could just translate this page into Farsi. I would be sooooo happy!

Feel free to add wishes of your own below!

pissed-off Norman
posted by Norman at 6:21 PM | Permalink |


  • At Monday, January 30, 2006 8:07:00 PM, Blogger Kim

    You are too funny! I couldn't come up with a wish so good if I tried all night.

  • At Monday, January 30, 2006 9:00:00 PM, Blogger Queen "B"

    ok now that I have stopped laughing I can tell you I love the name Norman. The story was great and I could totally relate and see it. Damn, that was what I needed today, was a good laugh. Thanks!

  • At Monday, January 30, 2006 10:58:00 PM, Blogger pack of 2

    HA! Great post!


  • At Tuesday, January 31, 2006 11:02:00 AM, Blogger Tammy

    You kill me! Who crapped in your wheaties this morning?

  • At Tuesday, January 31, 2006 12:26:00 PM, Blogger The Kept Woman

    I am all for your detailed treatment for them. Darn the Genva Convention and its stupid rules.

  • At Tuesday, January 31, 2006 7:16:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    Kim - Sure you can come up with a good wish! All you gotta do is watch "Flight 93" like I was, then wander by the calendar and see that it's the Islamic New Year! POOF!! LOTS and lots of ideas came to mind! None of them pleasant, (for Osama & friends, that is)

    Queen B - Glad I could make you laugh! Come back some time!!

    Pack of 2 - I was ANGRY when I wrote it!! Could ya tell!!?? LOL

    Tammy - Osama did...

    Kept Woman - yes, sometimes I do believe the Geneva Convention doesn't apply...


  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 10:44:00 PM, Anonymous Concerned Human Being

    HI Norman,

    I've been reading your blog a couple days (starting from the beginning) and I have to say that for the most part, you really crack me up. Btw, I've seen a ghost as well, they creep me out too. Not so fun. I agree with a previous commenter though - ask him/her what he/she wants! (is it a him or a her? I know you refer to the spirit as a she, but your son keeps refering to it as a man, so I'm not sure)

    In anycase, while I do thoroughly enjoy your posts on the little things in life that make it funny and great, I do have to say that I'm a bit disturbed by your posts on the Islamic faith.

    I can totally understand your hatred for Osama bin Laden and Zarwahiri. They are horrible people. BUT, I'm slightly perplexed by your seeming hatred for all things Islamic and Muslim. Bash terrorists all you want, the world could very much be rid of all of them, but that is not to say that all Muslims are terrorists and deserve the worst kind of hell they can get. This may not have been your intention, but I thought I'd point out that it does come across that way. The New Year is a happy thing to celebrate. I believe it's a fresh start for everyone, regardless of which date on the western calendar you actually celebrate it on.

    As a reader, I hope you can take my comments in stride, and know that I do not mean any offense towards you. If you feel that I have offended you, I apologize.

    In the meantime, I look forward to reading your posts.

  • At Sunday, February 11, 2007 7:01:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    I cant believe a grown woman with kids just wrote that! I dont understand why grown people would just read a few articles in a newspaper or watch something on a biased TV chanel and then have some extreme hatred for a group of people they dont even know. I think you should delete that last post because its just shows that you are no better than the so called "terrorists" you hate. You dont see people wishing bad things on all white people or all christians because of how they raped and killed people in Africa and brought slavery to Africa.
    I just hope you kids dont have such ignorant narrow minded views.

  • At Monday, February 12, 2007 7:03:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    Actually, Anon on Feb 11th... i WON'T delete that post. If you would kindly re-read it - I wrote that directed specifically to Osama bin Laden and al-Zwahari. NOT all the Muslim world.

    And no... I don't just read a few articles and watch television and make decisions based on such. I actually have a very wide basis that I spoke those thoughts on. My children are very aware that there are good people and bad people. They are aware that Osama bin Laden (or Usama...take your pick) and his followers, are very bad people who are trying to convert the world to a radical Islamic state. That was part of their Fatwah, which is still in effect. Nope. I'm not sorry I wrote what I did. I'm aware that there are terrible white people as well. I hope the world rains down on their heads (the whites) too.

    So, read again...

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