Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Blunk Drogging
YES!!! It's blunk drogging time again (drunk blogging)!!!! I get so few opportunities to do this. In fact, from here on out I think I will leave all the typos in so you can laugh at my efforts. Starting NOW.

I had a math test tonight. I think I aced it, wit the exception of leaving a - (negative sighn) off a number thankyouverymuch. I caught the error AFTER I had turned in the test so that wasdisgusting to me but oh well. I'll take a 98 on a math test anyday.

Anyway - after the test, a coworker - who just happens to be taking the course with me - and I decided to go out for margaritas afterwards. Now - I never go out without my husband... we really do enjoy each ohter when we get the chance, but the opportunity arose and I grabbed it. I called my husband and told him I was going out for 'rita swirls and he was okay with it so BONUS!

My friend and I were sitting at the bar chatting. After a little while (2 drinks later) we were getting ready to go, when some guys decided to start putting the moves on us.

People - I've not had someone 'put the moves' on me in quite a while. It was ssooooooo funny. These guys tried to tell us that they were with the FBI and investigating a counterfeit ring. So I called their bluff. See, what they don't know is - I know who works there. I gave them the "oh really" reply complete with upraised eyebrows. When they continued to affirm this, my coworker was punching me in the back because she was trying not to laugh... she knows that I know they were full of shit, but they don't know that I KNOW they're full of shit. After I the "oh really" line.... I followed up with... "So who'se your SAC?" To which the mouthy one went "What's that mean?" and his friend goes "It means she's onto you and the jig is up. Back away from the chicks." But he didn't stop. After about 5 minutes of him continuing with the FBI crap, we started to leave, when he pulled out the tired old "Hey - don't I know you?" bit. I looked back at him to tell him.... "Sorry - don't know ya" when I realized that ummmm... "Yeah... I think you DO look familiar". (SHIT I HATE SMALL TOWNS) Then he said "HEY!! I've been to your house" and my reply ? "YOU PEED ON MY DOG!" because that's what this guy did. Turns out he's some guy that worked with my husband, and him and his wife came over once a while back. He did pee on our dog, but that's the LAST time he ever came over. (Cause he peed on my dog). He was also one of those people that are "close talkers". You know the kind. Seinfeld did an episode on it once. The kind that get right in your face to talk to you? So I told him... YES!! You peed on my dog and you're a CLOSE TALKER!!! Of course he denied it, while he's in my face. But I told him that's what he was. Cause I can. And I did.

So this guy that was blatantly HITTING on me, was a former co-worker of my husbands, and is actively seeking a job at the place I work. HAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!

And that my friends, is why you can't do anything in a small town without everyone knowing about it. Because in the middle of all this.... without me knowing about it..... was my sister-in-law and brother-in-law at a different table watching. I had no frickin clue they were there. The only way I found out they were there was because I went to the bathroom and left my phone at the bar. My husband called to see how I was doing, and before my coworker friend could answer the phone, my brother-in-law jumped up... ran across the restaurant and answered it for me. LOL. So my husband was really surprised to hear my brother in law pick up the phone, but at least I had verification of the night's occurences through them.

OK> Off to bed now. need to drink water before sleeping though. Tequila headaches are the worst.
posted by Norman at 8:38 PM | Permalink |


  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 5:37:00 AM, Blogger Greg the Surly

    LUSH! Oh, and you should call the guys wife, assuming she hasn't dumped him already, people like him need to suffer often.

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 6:53:00 AM, Blogger patti_cake

    Oh boy that was funny Norman I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall! Hee!

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 7:07:00 AM, Blogger Livey

    Gotta love small towns! LOL

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 8:00:00 AM, Blogger Tammy

    I'm so glad you told him that he was a close talker. I hate those. My OB is a close talker. Gag.

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 8:45:00 AM, Blogger pack of 2

    I hate close talkers!!!

    Glad you got to go get drunk...:)

    Sounds like you were a good girl too.


  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 11:28:00 AM, Blogger HotDudi

    I love that u did that!


  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 3:05:00 PM, Blogger Cori

    Blunk drogging is the best! I sincerely hope that your close talker and his wife have since split up! Have two Advil and I hope you don't have too much of a headache today.

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 7:51:00 PM, Blogger Dari

    Don't you love small towns

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 8:09:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    Greg - YA!! That's one of the crappy lines he tried to pull on me... that him & his wife had gotten divorced. HIS story is that SHE was cheating on HIM. I wonder why?

    Patti_cake - Buzz on down!! The more the merrier!

    Livey - oooo yeah. Not. Oh - and one more thing that I forgot to mention?? The friend that I was drinking with? Is the mother of a guy that I dated before I met my husband. Only I didn't know she was his mother until about a year ago when she figured out who I was. And we'd already been working together for about 5 years... Small town life...

    Tammy - ohmyGod. You're OB is a close talker?? WHAT end is he a close talker to?? You cannot possibly imagine the image I have going through my head right now....

    Pack of 2 - LOL. Well - not really drunk drunk... more like happy tipsy... I never drink anymore - so two drinks did me in.

    Hotdudi - yeah - and my coworker friend called again today and said we were going to have to start making that a ritual!!

    Cori - Yes!! They have split up... or so he says. All guys that are on the prowl while married claim a divorce in which they were the wronged party.... And no headache!! I drank about a quart of water before going to bed.

    Dari - actually, I really do like them, as long as I'm not the one that everyone is gossiping about. I like to be the gossiper, not the gossipee...


  • At Thursday, March 30, 2006 4:15:00 AM, Blogger Rachel - Wicked Ink

    Ahhh Norman, you are the funniest blog to read at 4am!

    Glad you had a good time - and way too small a town you live in.

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