I am Norman

Monday, October 02, 2006

Simply INGENIOUS!!!

The family took a drive tonight. We went to the airport to pick up my parents minivan since they left it at the airport when they left. As we approached, we saw the lights of the prison off in the distance. Seeing that reminded me of a conversation I had with one of my coworkers, who happens to be a former corrections officer.
"Hey hunny!" I said, "You know what Bobby was telling me about how they control the inmates?" The chatter in the backseat quieted. My kids have this fascination with BADGUYS. BADGUYS are COOL.
"He was telling me that when the prisoners act up... they threaten them with a certain dinner... he said it worked everytime." "A certain dinner? Are you serious? Hardened criminals toe the line 'cause of food?!" scoffed my husband.
"Uh huh!!! That's what he said!! He said it was hilarious to watch them behave after the THREAT. He said they don't even threaten them with solitary much, it's the bad dinner they'll get that keeps 'em in line." "And just WHAT is this dinner?" said my cynical hubby.
"Well... apparently, they make this thing called "Food Loaf"! When mess hall is over, they take all the left overs, and stuff them into a huge grinder, blend everything together and press it into meatloaf pans. Then they bake it and VOILA!!! Food Loaf! It's whatever they served in the food hall that day, all squished together. The inmates HATE it. "

...and that's when I noticed the complete and utter silence in the backseat. I had the kid's full attention.

Never one to pass up what I consider to be a golden opportunity, I didn't let on that I knew the kids were listening.

"And you know what hunny?" I burbled on "That's not a bad idea!! Think of the money we can save if we just keep all the food that the kids don't eat. We can squish it up in a loaf and serve it to them for breakfast...you know - the food they don't eat for dinner, we'll just let them eat it for breakfast!!"

*gasps of horror in the backseat*

And my husband was biting back a smile. "Is that for real?? Food loaf!? They really make food loaf in the prisons? That's crazy! But you know what? It just might work..." he let his voice trail off thoughtfully.

And while I find the idea of curbing the inmate's behavior via FOOD LOAF amusing (because face it, it is funny to think of a serial murder cringing at the idea of food loaf), I want you guys to know this:

My kids ate their dinner tonight without complaining.... and they ate ALL of it. I left the kitchen at one point during dinner to swap out some laundry, and as I turned the corner, I heard ... "Ethan... hurry up!! I don't want food loaf tomorrow!"

posted by Norman at 7:13 PM

| Permalink |

9 Comments:

At Monday, October 02, 2006 8:06:00 PM, Spicy Cracker

Food loaf huh. Bwahahaha.
At Tuesday, October 03, 2006 6:04:00 AM, A couple of newer paintings 2019

Yuck! But just remember, cleaning your plate can lead to overweight adults. I'm a specimen of my parents 'clean your plate' always fighting pounds throughout my life! And yes, I still clean my plate about 95% of the time!

Sandra
At Tuesday, October 03, 2006 6:50:00 AM, Teri

Norman, has anyone told you lately that you're a genius?

well, let me be the first!
At Tuesday, October 03, 2006 6:59:00 AM, pack of 2

HA! That is too funny Norm. I think it would have worked on me when I was a kid. :)

Angie
At Tuesday, October 03, 2006 7:00:00 AM, Anonymous

Now that's just wrong on so many levels!
At Tuesday, October 03, 2006 4:29:00 PM, Anonymous

Hmm, I'll have to use the food loaf on my kids when they're older. Thanks for the tip!:)
At Tuesday, October 03, 2006 4:50:00 PM, Anonymous

I think your kids will be eating their dinner for quite a while now~
At Tuesday, October 03, 2006 6:05:00 PM, ladydyani

Sandra is right. I have a very hard time not eating everything on my plate. It feels wasteful, and I was taught to eat everything put in front of me. Sandra, have you tried using a smaller plate?

However, I may be evil and use that idea on my kids. Even if it's just to get them to eat something, rather than nothing at all.

Right now, I don't make them eat, but I also refuse to fix them anything else. If they're hungry, they can eat what I cooked, if they're not hungry, they don't have to eat. It works for my daughter, but not so much for my son.
At Tuesday, October 03, 2006 7:33:00 PM, Norman

Spicy - Exactly!! Evil laughter is a must when preparing this particular delicacy!!

Sandra - ah HA! They cleaned their plates on their own accord!! The only thing I ask of them is they at least try to eat some of everything I put on their plates. And incidently, the plates they typically eat off of are the salad plates, so I don't load them down with foods. I was a child of the "clean your plate" era as well. I don't make mine do it, since weight is an issue in our family.

Teri - Why YES!! Just today I told myself YET AGAIN that I am a genius!! However - it's so nice to hear it from others!! (LOLOLOL)

Angie - NOT!! Was it you or Shelly that posted about eating gum off the sidewalk once?? BLEARGH!! (and BTW, I must say that the post about the gum-eating off the sidewalk was the one that got me stuck to your blog *pun intended!!*)

Shaken - Yeah, that must be why I love it so!!

Malsmommy - OOOOooOoOoo!! Yes ! You MUST use this!! So far it's working like a charm!

TBG - I certainly hope so!!

Ladydyani - Oh!! DO be evil!! it's so much fun!! But I really don't make my kids CLEAN their plates, I just insist that they try to eat *some* of what is on their plates, and I do not give them too much. Also - it's understood that if they don't eat their dinner, there will be no eating of snacks later in the day.
(popcorn...they LOVE popcorn)