Have you ever just been desperate to make your toddler behave? I mean - by pulling out threats of "SANTA CLAUS CAN SEE YOU ACTING THIS WAY!!"

Well frankly, even a two year old knows that Santa doesn't care what the hell-ee-oo you are doing in the beginning of June. I mean...come ON. So then you try to devise other threats, threats that you HOPE will stick them. Things like "Young lady, do you want a spanking?" clearly does not faze her because she'll calmly turn around and stick her butt towards me. If I put her in Time Out, she stands in the chair and sings "DORA DORA DORA THE EXPLORER!!!" until the timer tells her it's time to be free from the time out chair. She is truly becoming incorrigible, and I dare say even SuperNanny would be stalemated.

So this threat that I pulled out of thin air the other day was extremely surprising and unexpected. Actually, it was pure desperation, but dammit! It worked! And it is still working.

I love the day I stumbled upon....the Magical Hippopotamus.

After a particularly trying day of screeching at Avery to behave (which would have been this last Saturday) I created him. Grabbing Avery by both arms and turning her to face me, I told her she MUST STOP her bad behavior or else THE MAGICAL HIPPOPOTAMUS would arrive and bite her toe. So she just HAD to behave...she just HAD to because Mommy really really did not want the Magical Hippopotamus to show up since he was so very mean.

Oh my God.

It was pure bliss. I don't know if it was the look on my face or the idea of a Hippopotamus (and a MAGICAL one at that) biting her toe, but my child became a perfect angel.

I no longer have problems with getting her to eat. All I have to say is "You'd better eat or the Magical Hippopotamus will be here" and she packs her dinner into her mouth.

Running thru the house? No problem. The Magical Hippopotamus LOVES to chase down little girls that run.

Bedtime? No sweat. The bed is the ONLY place that the Magical Hippopotamus is not allowed. Magical Hippopotamussessess are not allowed to bite a little girl's toes if she is in bed.

Ashton & Ethan have been quick to catch on to the Magical Hippopotamus craze. If Avery is messing with either of them, Ashton & Ethan will conspire to completely freak her out:

Ethan will distract Avery while Ashton hides in a closet and proceeds to thump the ever loving crap out of the door. As the noise starts, Ethan will state with great dread: "OH NO!! It's the MAGICAL HIPPOPOTAMUS here to bite your toes! Run Avery!" and she takes off to hide in her bed.

...of course - Ethan only started doing this after he pulled me aside and asked if the Magical Hippopotamus was "for real".

I love the Magical Hippopotamus. I don't ever want him to leave. Of course - I also don't want my child to have an unreasonable paranoia of Hippopotamus, but for now - I'm willing to pay the future psychiatric bills for the small moments of peace.