I am Norman

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Something you should already know:

I hate SPIDERS.

So let's not talk about the behemoth that was in my bathroom sink last night.

Let's not.

Let me give you something else to think about.

My lovely husband, deciding to edu-macate my kiddos found a bug.

Not just any bug -- a spider. And not just ANY spider -- A sun spider to be exact.

Norman - what is a sun spider, you ask.

Bloggers, I give you this:

THAT is a sun spider. Nasty piece of work it is. Icky Icky Poop. I can't like it. But, my man brought it home and placed it in a little cage so our offspring could admire this this...thing.

Did I mention he put it in a cage? Yep. A nice little sturdy wire cage with a couple of twigs in it. Can't have the sun spider getting bored or anything. Give it a couple of twigs to climb on..keep it happy... yadda yadda yadda...

The kids insisted on watching it, and begged us to keep it until the next morning before setting it free. I actually opted to squish the damn thing after they left, but nope. My man wanted to set it free. I told him that if he was going to set it free, it must be released no less than 10 miles away.

The next morning, we got up and Ethan trotted in to the back room to see "Freddy" (don't ask. I still haven't figured out the Norman moniker yet)

"AAAARRRRGHHH!!! MOMMY!! FREDDY RAN AWAY!!!"

That's such a chilling phrase to hear first thing in the morning. I looked at the cage. Yep. Freddy is gone. But not just...gone. Freddy has CHEWED HIS WAY OUT OF WIRE MESH AND IS SOMEWHERE IN MY HOUSE.

AAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

posted by Norman at 8:27 PM

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12 Comments:

At Tuesday, June 12, 2007 9:20:00 PM, Dari

You better run,, Despite I don't know what is the heck is Sun Spider (hence for reason unknown to me could not see the pic) I hate spiders....what happened next, did you find it?!! please don't leave us hanging up waiting.....
At Tuesday, June 12, 2007 9:46:00 PM, Coffeypot

I didn't know spiders could chew through anything, much less a cage (I assume made of wire.) But Freddy could be under your pillow or in your shoes. Maybe behind the couch cushions. Anyway, have a good night, sleep tight.
At Tuesday, June 12, 2007 11:01:00 PM, Anonymous

*shivers* I'm right there with you...I hate spiders. Ick.
At Tuesday, June 12, 2007 11:15:00 PM, Ace

Oh, dear God. Why did I read this right before bed?
At Wednesday, June 13, 2007 2:03:00 AM, HotDudi

I'm afraid I only have 2 words...

Oh & Cr@p!
At Wednesday, June 13, 2007 2:18:00 AM, Gail S

Move. Right NOW!!!
At Wednesday, June 13, 2007 7:55:00 AM, Michael

Maybe the ghost got him.

Take Care
Michael
At Wednesday, June 13, 2007 12:09:00 PM, Anonymous

It's on me! I can feel it on me! Ok, maybe not, but I've got the Heebie Jeebies. I can't even kill a spider. Good thing your moving.
At Wednesday, June 13, 2007 7:18:00 PM, Norman

Dari - I'm TRYING to run! I just don't know where to run TOO! Now -I'm not sure why you can't see the picture, but Sun Spiders are also known as Wind Scorpions...and when I was looking for pictures of the Sun Spider, it pulled up pictures of a camel spider (HOLY CRAP!) so maybe it's a smaller version of a camel spider?

Coffeypot - You suck. I can't believe you put all that in there about how it could be under my pillow or in my shoes.. THAT WAS MEAN!! LOL... but as far as chewing thru something...look at the HEAD on that thing!! I don't know how it did it, but it sure as hell did it!

Charlotte - Thanks - I need company in my fear!!

Ace - Because YOU, like ME - are a glutton for punishment. I had the willies typing that freaking post...

HotDudi - Those aren't the exact two words I used, but pretty damn close!!

Gail S - I'M TRYING!

Michael - Maybe he ate the ghost?

Talula - I've got the heebie jeebies again too!!
At Wednesday, June 13, 2007 7:19:00 PM, Norman

Holy Shit.

I just noticed that in the picture, the damn thing has TEN legs. Can it be classified as a spider then?
At Friday, June 15, 2007 6:50:00 PM, Leonesse

I have had a few of those things in my house before. Freaked me the hell out. One freaking WAVED at me. Seriously, that even made the kids scream. It was all like "come on bitch, you wanna piece of me?" DH had to run outta the shower and come kill it. I tried, I really tried, but when it reared up and waved like that while I was holding up my shoe. Better put Me 0, Spider 1. At least until DH came running in a towel.

Here is what they say about it..

Sun spiders are not venomous, since they have no venom glands. They are generally considered beneficial since they feed on ticks, mites and other pest arthropods. There is no need to kill them! If they come in your house and you don't want them there, simply return them to the outdoors, using a dustpan and brush.

So, Norman, you should have invited it in since it is 'beneficial'. yeah... sure...

OH, and... "The sunspider appears to have ten legs, not eight. The thicker front pair are palps, not legs.

She has long hairs all over her body that help her sense movement in her surroundings."

And the next line over a pic... "Below - she uses her jaws to attack a stick."

Yeah... beneficial... my ass.
At Saturday, June 16, 2007 8:16:00 AM, Lisa

Looks like a cross between spider and scorpion to me. Ewww!! I sure as hell hope you found it and got it OUT of the house. Yuck!