Oh put your panties back on. I'm not really revealed...I'm just going to give you a little background on myself that most of you are not privy to!

Ya ready?!

We all know that I've moved. I quit a job, moved towns, and started a new job blah blah blahbbity blah yadda yadda yadda. I've whined enough about that - you know the story...

But PART of the story as to why I've remained anonymous in here is for two reasons. The first is to protect my kiddos. I've posted enough about them and there are some real sickos out there that I really don't want to post too much info about myself as to become easily identifiable. The second part is because of my former job. It was essential that I not reveal too much about where I worked or what I did because it was a smaller town where I was and I didn't want people pissed off about me when I made fun of them (i.e. The Assblaster)

But - a couple of people that I worked with have stumbled across this blog (Hi Anonymous Farm Wife!) and while I'm sure that they'll protect me and my identity, I'm ready to share a little bit more about what I did....mainly so you can appreciate the huge difference of what I did then to what I do now.

I used to work at a "bomb factory", as Anonymous Farm Wife so fondly put it. It was probably the most interesting and important job that I've ever done - or will ever do. While I didn't actually build bombs, I got to hang out around them (only when i had a need to though!). Pretty interesting stuff I'll tell you. But my function at the ol' bomb factory was fun. I got to work in the intelligence field. And that was where some of my anxieties would fire up. I loved this blog because after seeing some of the info that would rattle through the networks over there, this was a great place to unwind and act stupid and ridiculous and just blow off steam. Believe it or not - beneath my dumbass exterior, I do have a brain, and I must say I did a great job for my employer and the folks up at headquarters as well. I got to meet a former kgb agent, and visited with some higher muckity mucks, all in the name of national security. I'll always remember my time there! Fun stuff, but nerve wracking.

And then, my husband got the job offer here in San Antonio. The offer was enough that it was questionable as to whether I would even need a job or not. However, once we got into the benefits aspect, we decided that I should get a job....just for medical benefits. Which is what I did. But I was ready for a change. Really. Seeing some of the stuff that's happening out there is frightening, and I wanted a change. So now I'm working a behind the scenes job in a HUGE company with lots of people... and I'm having the time of my life!

I think.

Let's see. Instead of counterintelligence awareness campaigns, I now answer phones and pay insurance claims for a living. And I'm sitting in a call center with earphones and a little microphone dilly thing on my head. Awesome!! And last Friday - some guy threatened to sue me, just because I answered the phone! I've never had a complete stranger yell at me on the phone before, and I must say I was pretty good about not taking it personally. In fact, when he told me he was going to sue me, I spelt my name for him so he would get it right on the lawsuit papers.

Now, since I'm new and technically still in training, me and the little group of people that started with me having roving helpers that walk around and come to us when we need help. Hearing this irate man on the phone triggered me to pop out of my chair like a jack in the box and wave my hands around to get their attention. The whole time I was trying to placate the jerk on the other end of the phone. Seeing my distress signal, the helper (who just happens to be my instructor) came to my phone, and plugged in his headset to mine. This enables him to hear the conversation, but not talk to the person on the other end. HOWEVER - he can give me prompts as to the correct things to say. He plugged in when the man threatened to sue me for the third time. Hearing the threat, my instructor nudged me, and I turned around, expecting to have a notepad full of useful advice. What I got was a grown man making moose antlers on his head, crossing his eyes, and sticking his tongue out at me. Niiiiiiiiice.

"Hey! Didja hear me!!?? I want my goddamned claim paid, and I want my check NOW! I've told you once, and I'll tell you again! I'm going to sue you, your company and anyone else who's had contact with this claim!!!!!!!"

BONUS!! He just moved on from me and the company to "anyone else who's had contact with the claim".

I smiled sweetly at my instructor as I offered his name to the jerk on the other end of the phone. And watched as the moose antlers slowly deflated and my instructors jaw went slack. Now I was making the moose antlers and crossing my eyes. This job is sooooo much freaking fun. I had no clue !!

And then today, while I was trying to convince a customer about the benefits of our website and all the things he could find online - he interrupted me and asked me if he could "get some nookie on the site". Then this man--- who happens to be in his mid-30's, broke out in a surfer laugh..that's the only way I can describe it... and repeated his question to me while I tried to answer it in the most professional manner possible. I think I failed miserably. I just couldn't HELP myself! Besides, if someone is going to call in with statements like that, they deserve the responses I'll give them.

Let's just say that I was removed from the phones shortly after that phone call.

I sure hope I get to keep my job there.