Thursday, June 22, 2006
What a freak
Sometimes, at my work, we get loonies calling. And when I mean loonies, I mean people that you sit there and wonder what the hell kind of drugs they did in their life to make them so FREAKY. I was sitting at my desk today, when I got a phone call. It went something like this:

ME: Hello, this is Norman...
LOON: I have a problem that I'm hoping you can help me with.
ME: Yes??? (see... I'm a helpful kind of person)
LOON: I've been having some *issues* lately, and I believe they are originating from your workplace.
ME: Well, are you sure you've called the right person? Maybe I should transfer you to human resources....
LOON: Oh no. I've called the right place. I called the main desk and explained what's wrong and they told me to call you. Immediately.
ME: Oh. Well - I guess they would know. So what's the problem?
LOON: I've been receiving messages from the mothership and they want me call you and tell you to cease and desist.
ME: Really? Cool. I'm not interested in stopping anything right now.
LOON: (sounding desperate) But you HAVE to. If you don't, they said they would come down and bring the Rahzzh Force Delinium with them.
ME: Well, bring it on! I've been kind of bored lately.
LOON: Oh, you really don't want that. They have BOMBS.
ME: Well, dude - so do I.
LOON: You need to help me. I have no one else to call. Your main desk said that YOU could help me.
ME: (jotting down a quick "note to self" to call the main desk.) Well. Here. How's this: Call the mothership up and tell them that I stopped.
LOON: So you're going to stop?
ME: NO. We're just going to make them THINK that I stopped. Then, when they kind of chill out a little, thinking that we've stopped, we'll send out an anti-Delinium Falinga Blast that'll knock them out of orbit. But I really need you to work with me on this. This is the only way that this will happen... with your cooperation. Just think, you'll be responsible for saving the world....
LOON: me??????
ME: Yeah. Do you think you're up to it?
LOON: You really think this will work?
ME: Oh sure it'll work!! We did this once before. I'm actually surprised that they came back. The last time we did this, their ship fell out of the sky and crashed out at Roswell.... but then - you already knew that. I mean... everybody knows about that one. I'm just saying - that our technique has improved considerably since then, and now they only visit every so often. I'm just sorry that they decided to hassle you this time. So - you up to it?
LOON: I think I am.
ME: Good. Now, give me your name and address so that I can forward this on to the President. Last time, he actually went and visited the person who helped out. Took a nice picture with them and everything.
LOON: Wow!
ME: Yeah!! (busily taking down contact info to turn over to the men in white coats). Thanks! I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate people like you...
LOON: OK. I'm on it! I'll call you later and let you know how it went...

*click*

And then I picked up the phone and dialed the main desk. "WTF??????!!!!!!" I screeched (quietly.. because I was at work). They were laughing. They figured I needed some entertainment and it actually did provide me with a nice little break....

For your info... I did turn his name in to the men in the little white coats and I'm seriously SERIOUSLY hoping that they paid him a visit!

~norm
 
posted by Norman at 7:28 PM | Permalink |


13 Comments:


  • At Thursday, June 22, 2006 10:48:00 PM, Blogger pack of 2

    I say paybacks to the front desk are in order....what a freak!

    Shangie

     
  • At Friday, June 23, 2006 1:54:00 AM, Blogger Dari

    we need this guy over here, pass his address and I will get him a job offer to join the rest of his team here,loool

     
  • At Friday, June 23, 2006 2:44:00 AM, Blogger Aric Blue

    I wasn't going to tell you, but that was, in fact, me calling you. I'll try to restrain myself next time.

     
  • At Friday, June 23, 2006 5:21:00 AM, Blogger Norman

    Shangie - I would pay them back, but then they might not send me anymore loonies, and then my fun would be over..

    Dari - Well home come you're not ponying up any job offers for me over at the swanky mall? Why just loons?

    Aric - I knew it was you. Were you ever able to dislodge the universal transponder that the mothership had beamed into your head thru you ear? (I'm really pissed that I forgot to mention that part in the original post)

     
  • At Friday, June 23, 2006 6:15:00 AM, Blogger Rants from a Bee

    wow...just when I thought I worked with the biggest idiotic loon on the planet...you have to outdo her! Loved your responses! Glad you could help save the world again! ha ha

    side note: I'm up to October of 2005 in reading your old posts.....man you're entertaining! Sorry for the comments on old post, but I had to comment!

     
  • At Friday, June 23, 2006 6:27:00 AM, Blogger Michael

    Well if you do get bored again and need a looney to call, you can always send me your number...

    Take Care
    Michael

     
  • At Friday, June 23, 2006 3:15:00 PM, Blogger Nap Queen

    WOW. That was some serious crazy that needs meds stat.

     
  • At Saturday, June 24, 2006 8:02:00 AM, Blogger Stewie

    Well I know who NOT to call when I experience this problem.

     
  • At Saturday, June 24, 2006 8:55:00 AM, Blogger Norman

    Rants from a Bee: I was WONDERING who was ripping through my blog!! I have my blog set up so all comments get e-mailed to me... I see where you comment, but a lot of times, I have no idea which post you are commenting on!! LOL. I've been going back through my archives to see what you're talking about!

    Michael - OK! I'll remember that!

    Nap Queen - I think they need Lithium!!

    Stewie - awww... you never know. Maybe I'll be able to help you! Don't discount my helpfulness!

     
  • At Saturday, June 24, 2006 5:36:00 PM, Blogger HotDudi

    I'll have you know I used to work with this guy...& he was one of the more normal ones!!

     
  • At Monday, June 26, 2006 8:13:00 AM, Blogger Rants from a Bee

    You know what though, my little sisters (who are also twins, guess I can't call them little, they're about to turn 17) love your blog so they started going back, they're just too shy to post comments, they might as well though, they tell me about your old posts and I'm like "shut up! I'm not there yet!" All weekend I heard about the Hummer incident, my husband is still laughing about that one!

     
  • At Monday, June 26, 2006 3:34:00 PM, Blogger Ace

    That's great! Crazy people are fun!

     
  • At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 11:29:00 AM, Blogger Tammy

    Okay. Seriously. It scares me that there actually people like this out there.

     
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