Saturday, July 15, 2006
yeah... it IS because I have nothing better to blog about...
Just thought I'd let you know that I've started a list of foods that I won't be eating again for the next few years. They are... in no particular order:

Corn
Blueberries
Carrots
Gummy Bears

Huh. Well, wait.. I lied - because this list IS pretty much in order.

Now. I've got three kids, and I don't know why this hasn't happened before, but apparently, my third child's digestive system just isn't as efficient as the older kids I guess.

Corn is the obvious thing. Pretty hard to digest, but at least my other kids made an attempt to digest it. Avery just eats it and deposits an entire ear of corn in her diaper. I don't know how she does it, but apparently her stomach is really good at arranging the eaten corn into a pretty good resemblance of what it used to be. I shit you not (yes!! the pun was intended!), the child craps corn cobs.

She adores blueberries. Now - obviously you're prolly thinking she's pooing smurf colored doody, but sorry. It's a turd. But not just any turd. It's a polka dotted turd. Dotted with blueberries... dis-gus-ting. EW!

I'm sure you're familiar with carrots? You eat enough of them, and it looks like you're fighting radiation sickness. But again - her digestive tract just is young I guess. And apparently carrots give her the runs.... the ORANGE runs, with little chunks of carrots.

But today was the kicker. The Gummy Bear. I don't give kids that young sugar. They don't need it from the natural energy rush they have going on. But apparently Ashton shared some illicitly acquired bears with her. (She's pleading the fifth on who gave them to her, but I'm thinking it's my mom.) Sweet kid that she is, she shared gummy bears with the baby, and the baby gobbled them down. And yep... out the poop chute they came. In whole. I opened up her diaper, and saw a gummy peeping out of the mess in there. I could almost swear it had a shocked look on it's ambiguous little face... kinda like "By God!! What a freaking experience THAT was!"

So gummy bears have gone on the list of EWWWWWWW items for the next few years.

poor little bear
 
posted by Norman at 8:06 PM | Permalink |


15 Comments:


  • At Sunday, July 16, 2006 8:28:00 AM, Blogger Spicy Cracker

    Great thanks the one candy I could eat... I wont be able too... all I have to say is ewwwwwww!

     
  • At Sunday, July 16, 2006 8:52:00 AM, Blogger Michael

    Norman you are so cool...

    Take Care
    Michael

     
  • At Sunday, July 16, 2006 6:06:00 PM, Blogger pack of 2

    HAHA...yeah, I'll bet that is fun...kind of like opening a present...never know what might be inside:)

    Good call...stay away from that stuff for a while.

    Shelly

     
  • At Sunday, July 16, 2006 7:47:00 PM, Blogger Ace

    OMG. LOL. Other Internet acronyms.

    That's classic.

    At the risk of TMI, I'm usually amazed when every once in a while I recognize something that's gone through my system, too. Like corn. (Yeah, I'm a looker, what can I say?)

    And I had a co-worker who, when his son was a baby, took him to the doctor because he was turning orange, and it was because the only food he would eat was carrots, so they were giving him too much.

     
  • At Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:11:00 PM, Blogger Wide Lawns Subservient Worker

    Norman, reading your blog has done nothing to help cure my overwhelming terror about having children.

    And, in the no corn eating thing, you'll have good company. I am allergic to corn. Can't eat the stuff. I cant even eat anything with it in it without getting sick, and stupid corn is in freaking everything these days, so I get sick at least once a week. Huge pain. Even regular sodas are made with corn syrup now.

    Blueberries I love, but now all I will think about is blueberry studded poo from now on!

     
  • At Monday, July 17, 2006 6:57:00 AM, Blogger NaughtyVoyeur

    You are hilarious :) Thank God you're not obsessed with taking digital photos and posting everything to your site :) Cuz I've seen THAT done too! Egads.

     
  • At Monday, July 17, 2006 10:43:00 AM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    I'm wondering if I should check out my doodie to see if I find anything interesting...

     
  • At Monday, July 17, 2006 2:49:00 PM, Blogger Under Cover

    I just came across your blog and I lurve it! I also lurve that you use the word "lurve". You so totally rock!

     
  • At Monday, July 17, 2006 9:06:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    Spicy - cool!! I ruined someone else's candy!!! BONUS! My job here is done...

    Michael - well, yeah - and you were expecting something else?? LOL

    Shelly - We have Christmas everyday here!! Sometimes three times a day even!! Woohoooo!!

    Ace - OMG!!! That happened to my cousin too!! Oompa Loompa baby!

    Wide Lawns - oh no no no no no... Kids are GREAT! The one thing you need to understand is that when it's your own kids poo - you're immune to the stink factor. Any other kids diaper - I'd hurl. Your own kids - you might as well bronze it. Don't let me freak you out. PROMISE.

    Naughty Voyeur - egads. I had to physically restrain my husband from making a blog call "A Poo A Day". He thought it would be the BEST.IDEA.EVER. I had to go out into BlogLand and find a blog that was already operating under the same premise and PROVE to him that it was NOT an original idea....

    FM - Sure!! Why not? Ace does.....

    UnderCover - You lurve my blog?? LOL!! I didn't think anyone other than me LURVED things!! So who are you?? I'm curious now after reading your first post on your blog!

     
  • At Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:57:00 AM, Blogger momyblogR

    Yes, the only think I can say is, "poor, poor bear!"

     
  • At Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:46:00 PM, Blogger warcrygirl

    I babysat my friend's little boy once; I changed his diaper and he had what I call a Fiesta Poopie! Poo, corn and something red. Very festive.

    Know what I can't eat thanks to Caddy Shack? Baby Ruth bars. Yep, everytime I see one all I can think of is DOODY! Come to think of it do they even make them anymore?

     
  • At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 1:00:00 PM, Blogger patti_cake

    Ha Haaaaa you crack me up with that last line "I could almost swear it had a shocked look on it's ambiguous little face... kinda like "By God!! What a freaking experience THAT was!"
    Now i've got the giggles... :)

     
  • At Monday, July 24, 2006 6:14:00 AM, Anonymous Melanie aka:Mom, Librarian, Miss Melanie the Storyteller, wife and dog lover

    Norman,
    When oh when will I learn to re-evaluate my blog reading time to NOT include eating breakfast!!

    LOL
    Thanks for helping me on my diet....maybe thats it I will read your "gross" blogs while I try to eat and the weight will just melt off!

     
  • At Thursday, July 27, 2006 11:41:00 AM, Blogger Christan = )

    I HAVE to comment through my tears!! I haven't laughed that hard in forever!!
    I have a two year old, so I understand EXACTLY what you are blogging about, but it's NEVER been as funny as now. I will NEVER look at a gummy bear the same!! Especially as I just purchased some gummy bears for my child to potty train with!! Thanks so much for the great laugh!!
    p.s. I just found your blog today and will definitely check back often. I love the ghost stories, and your sense of humor with your stories!

     
  • At Monday, August 07, 2006 7:49:00 AM, Blogger Madwag

    he he he... Hi Norman! I like your blog.
    I have so many poop stories..here is a little one.
    Once a dog of mine liked to eat Barbie Dolls... her poop had legs and arms... that was a strange thing to clean up.

     
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