Monday, August 28, 2006
With a Moo-Moo here and a Moo-Moo there.
Let's talk about breasts. Breastfeeding that is.

Wait. Before I get started, everybody repeat after me: "THERE IS NOTHING UNNATURAL ABOUT BREASTFEEDING. BREASTS ARE FOR NOURISHMENT (mostly)." Okay? Are we all on the same page? Great!

I was at the mall, walking around with my kids, and we decided to sit down at one of the many little sitting areas that are around. My kids were eating some Dippin' Dots, and we were just people watching. Then a woman came and sat down, right next to us, and started breastfeeding her child. Right there in the open. Just flopped it right out and started nursing her child. OK. Fine. It's natural, right? I really don't have a problem with a mother feeding her child in public. I mean - this mall has designated nursing areas, that I have actually USED, because they are clean, comfortable, and they have nice soft piano music in there and ottomans. Really really nice nursing area. But not everyone wants to use a nursing area. Lots of mothers subscribe to the "feeding on demand" schedule, which means stopping and flopping just as she did. I really do not have a problem with public breastfeeding. Except...


Except when the child is about 6 years old.


And she noticed my problem! Because I was gawking! As was Ashton. And Ashton happened to recognize this child from school!! So the mother explained that she felt it important for her and her child to continue the bonding experience that breastfeeding brought them. Say Whaaaa??

Damn. I figured that after 6 years, that milk in those boobies would start to sour a little. But hey - she didn't owe me any kind of explanation. In fact, she OFFERED it, because I hopped up and started hustling the kids out of there. "He's just thirsty, and there's not a lot of people here." she says. (Yeah - cause they all ran off from the Mother Nature exhibition)

Now, correct me if I'm mistaken - but doesn't a six year old child have the ability to understand the following sentence: 'Let's wait until we get home and I can PUMP some of my lovely boob juice for you and place it in a cup'?

And I asked Ashton, "Uh - honey... is he in a .... special class?" Ashton - whose eyes are the size of dinner plates - "No, but maybe he SHOULD be!" Nope. Can't disagree with THAT logic. Actually, I'm thinking this child just might end up in a special class all it's own.

And actually, while I stopped nursing my kids at 9 months old (the ones that I could do that with...) I personally think it's a little strange to offer children over the age of 2 breast milk. Personally. PLEASE NOTE THAT IS MY PERSONAL OPINION. I'm not saying it's wrong. It's just.... strange. I've actually had some women say that the WHO (World Health Organization) advocates breast milk up to the age of 7. Well. OK. But remember. This is the WORLD Health Organization. Not the UNITED STATES health organization. In third world countries, this would probably be a good thing, as it's probably the only thing nourishing that children get to have. But this is the United States. Where we have vitamins! And immunizations! Things that these other children don't have! So I think it's safe to lay off the breast milk at about 2 .

And please don't publicly nurse your first grader in the mall.
posted by Norman at 7:40 PM | Permalink |


  • At Monday, August 28, 2006 9:15:00 PM, Blogger Calamity H. Jane

    Oh. My. Word.

    $10 bucks that kid will kill himself before grade 7, or his mom. Regardless if mom keeps that up her kid is going to grow up deranged and severely beaten up.

    Can social services even be involved in a case like this? It should really be made illegal.

    Although I said in your previous post about nosey people who make known their opinions about another's child-raising techniques, that I would never open my yapper, in this case I would at least drop a letter and related info in the mailbox about why one should not breastfeed their 6 yr old for the same reason they wouldn't pull the teet out on their teenager. You said Ashton recognized the kid from school, so you should track down this misguided mother and teach her a thing or two about ways parents can bond with their kids without the breasteseses being involved. Do it, for me. PLEASE.

  • At Monday, August 28, 2006 9:37:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    wait - let me interject -

    This is a post that I typed up a while ago, and never posted. It was in draft form, so in a fit of lazyness, I changed the date on it and used it for tonight!!



  • At Monday, August 28, 2006 10:46:00 PM, Blogger Dari

    I don’t know but definitely this will cause him “problems” down the line in his life; the child should, I think, stop this breast feeding "thing" at the age of two maximum. I know I did stop at two years old but started again (for sure not with my mom) at 16 years till now and enjoying it.

  • At Monday, August 28, 2006 11:01:00 PM, Blogger Adeline


    I am glad i read through...holy crum! I too get annoyed at that whole "well at least I am not like him/her/them" assault when it comes to parenting, but

    SIX YEARS OLD is a little unusual, ok it's really unusual. And bless your son's heart for his comment, too funny.

    Man alive, she musta felt strange too if she offered an explanation...


  • At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 3:25:00 AM, Blogger BluJewel

    Speechless! (gasp! splutter!) Okay, I'm fine now. Like you, I'm for women breast feeding and I'm not opposed to it being done in public, though I think a little care (a blanket over her boob) should be enacted. That aside, I too would have been mortified if I'd seen what you did. I breastfed until 8.5 mos and would NOT have considered it past 1 year. TEETH HURT!! Nuff said.

    I'm sure the little boy will (if he hasn't already) have some bondage issues with his mother. While I wouldn't want to force my opinion on another, my curiousity would kick in at some point and make me want to inquire.

  • At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 6:12:00 AM, Blogger A taste that's bitter

    I'll offer no explanation of my opinion, but I think it's OOKY!

    Dude, seriously, if your child is old enough to SPELL the word 'TIT' he needs to be off yours.

  • At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 6:32:00 AM, Blogger Michael

    I think it was rude for her not to offer to share it with all the kids around. Maybe they were thirsty too.

    Take Care

  • At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 9:39:00 AM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    I just threw up a little in my mouth.

    Seems to be a common theme when reading your blogs.

  • At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 11:11:00 AM, Blogger no patience for bullshit

    Absolutely INSANE!! That's all my brain can fathom on that one.

  • At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 11:46:00 AM, Blogger Spicy Cracker

    oh man I never thought I'd ever type about this but I once witness a 6 year old kid say to her mom, "hey I'm thirsty give me your boobie." I about died. and then the mother just popped it right out and let her go to town. At some point I have to think this is border line child abuse.

  • At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 6:19:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

    There's nothing to say, but eww. Seriously. The kid can go to the fridge and get his own liquid refreshment, that should negate him from boob milk. In a maill or not. They do have water fountains in most malls. That's so wrong, I can't think or more to say.

  • At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 7:05:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    Calamity - You know what? I don't know if it makes a difference or not- but this woman that did this was a foreigner. I don't know her ethnicity - but maybe it's a culture thing. Either way - it's still really weird, but since this actually happened a while back... probably too late to do anything!


    Adeline - I agree. It's probably one of the WEIRDEST things I've ever seen when it comes to childrearing...

    Blujewel - I'm amazed at the women that feed in public and don't use a 'cover'. BUT! I have raised my children to accept that as normal. I explained to them that a lot of babies are breastfed, and that it's natural. So now if my kids see an openly breastfeeding mother, thankfully - they usually don't gawk. However - this particular incident startled the crap out of Ashton... and ALL of us!!

    A taste that's bitter - LOL!!! OOKY is one of my favorite words!! And yeah. Kids that can talk should be able to wait...

    Michael - blah!!!! just BLAH!!!

    FM - you keep throwing up in your mouth a little. PLEASE go gargle!!

    No patience - YOU can't fathom it? I still have the MENTAL IMAGE burned into my retinas... and this was like 4 months ago!!

    Spicy - I think you're right!

    Anon - Yeah. You would think that kids would gross out to boob juice after a certain age. But apparently NOT! LOL

  • At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 8:16:00 PM, Blogger Tammy

    No. You are right. There IS something wrong with that. I'm sure she knew that too. She did it just to see what people would say.

    That poor kid. What is he going to think when his mom goes to college with him to whip out her tit.

    I'm sorry, but I don't want to do anything for 6 years. Especially lactate. Eck.

  • At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 9:19:00 PM, Blogger Livey

    stalking ;)

  • At Wednesday, August 30, 2006 8:56:00 AM, Blogger pack of 2

    That is WRONG!!!!!!

    Come on lady. That kid doesn't need to be sucking your tit any more than I do....if ya know what I mean.


  • At Wednesday, August 30, 2006 10:04:00 AM, Anonymous Christine

    I am appalled and feel like I should comment but what the f-ck does one say???
    Oh yeah.
    You are a FREAK and you are turning your kid into a bigger FREAK. Get some help because you obviously have a need for your child to be more dependent on you then he should be.
    Oh and ewwww. Please be a freak in private. That is all.

  • At Wednesday, August 30, 2006 11:37:00 AM, Blogger Christan = )

    I noticed a child about 7-8 years being carried at an odd angle by the mom and realized the child was attached to the boob. They were casually strolling around our county fair (which is huge) like nothing was unusual. They were getting a LOT of looks and most were not good.
    I agree that past two years is a bit strange, but to each his own I guess. But, yes, please do it privately.
    Love your blog as it keeps my on my toes never knowing what I'll open the page to read!!

  • At Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:36:00 PM, Blogger TBG

    There is nothing normal about that, there is something majorly wrong with nursing your 6 year old and something even more wrong with nursing your 6 year old in the mall in front of their classmates.

  • At Wednesday, August 30, 2006 11:36:00 PM, Blogger Madwag

    Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Way weird...poor kid.

  • At Friday, September 01, 2006 5:51:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

    My sister has a one year old that she breast feeds. The problem I have is:
    She just whips it out. No receiving blanket, just up... up... up with the shirt out, out with the boob, and go! She does this in mixed company. I think you need to take into account the people around you when you breast feed. If it's "just the girls", go ahead. But if there's a 15 year old boy you just met, be a little discreet.
    I also told her" when your child is old enough to lift your shirt and request it, it's time to move to a sippie cup. She told me I was nuts. I went with to her 1 year Dr. Appointment, and when she lifted Mommy's shirt in front of the Dr. the Dr. agreed with me.

  • At Friday, September 01, 2006 8:33:00 PM, Blogger mckay

    LOL...this reminds me of that Desperate Housewives episode where one of the working moms has a coworker who breastfeeds her 6 year old at work! the desperate mom sneaks the kid chocolate milk to secretly wean him. too funny and weird at the same time.

  • At Saturday, September 02, 2006 2:31:00 PM, Blogger Cacti to Cornfields

    Yikes... if a kid is old enough to be able to ASK to have mommy's milk, s/he's old enough to drink it from a CUP. Geesh!

  • At Monday, September 18, 2006 9:40:00 PM, Blogger SBB

    There's a ridiculously funny series called Little Britain that has a skit on this. Fully grown man meeting wife with fiancee for first time and proceeds to ask for 'Bitty' from his mother and suckling his mother's breast - and the parents (and man) continuing on the conversation with the fiancee looking horrified..

    Funny stuff.

    Perhaps she was just too cheap to buy him a milkshake? That is just wrong though... I mean, fine, it is not child abuse, but it's surely people abuse to do it in public!

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