Wednesday, December 20, 2006
On a roll (BONUS POST!!)

I'm in a funk (as evidenced by my prior post, which STILL might get deleted..) so I decided to tack on a bonus post today, to entertain YOU, the person who comes here...

First - I will tell you the Crappiest Gift I ever got... (sorry hunny!!!)

My husband gave me the crappiest gifts ever our first Christmas together... he then followed it up the second & third Christmases together with the next to crappiest and the next to next to crappiest gifts ever.... They were:

1. Crappiest gift ever (and yes... this is ALL he gave me on this joyous day of giving):

Tire Iron
Headlight for my car

I almost clonked him on the head with the tire iron.

2. Next to crappiest gift ever (our second Christmas together)

External Hard Drive.

Now see, to some of you techno-geeks out there, this would probably be an AWESOME gift, but at this time, I was not into 'puters at all... Didn't even know what the INTERNET was and the many uses it had....THIS WAS A GIFT FOR HIM!!!!

3. Next to Next to Crappiest gift ever (our third Christmas together)

Computer monitor


Happily, after I threatened him with bodily injury and a strict explanation of NO MORE COMPUTER OR CAR RELATED GIFTS EVER AGAIN, he settled in to a husband that was more 'in-tune' with the proper gifts to give a wife.

I am in no way exaggerating these gifts, or LYING about receiving these items. This is an honest to God list of things he gave me.

So - what was your WORST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER???

posted by Norman at 8:25 PM | Permalink |


  • At Thursday, December 21, 2006 5:48:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    I'm a lurker and I love your blog!

    My worst gift was from a boyfriend. He is a highly paid dr., specializing in allergies. He wasn't a spendthrift generally, but I still expected a nice gift. I got a single cotton turtleneck. It was a ski pattern print. My Grandma had the same one.

    The day after we broke up, I loaded that $17.99 L L Bean turtle into the car and drove straight to Goodwill. I hope somebody's Grandma was able to enjoy that well made, but definitely not appropriate for a 32 year old girlfriend top.

  • At Thursday, December 21, 2006 6:36:00 AM, Anonymous vety the nuts mom

    Hey Norm! I'm a major book worm. Major. My favorite book store is in the basement of my used to be college...I told my hubs that and one day he was doing a project down there at my old campus. He went to the bookstore and bought me a book! I was in love. seriously that was huge to me...until I got the book. Yeah, apparently, he just got the first book he found and that was it. Didn't really look for a book that I might like. So he got me one about gay women/inspirational coming out of the closet book.

    I guess he didn't notice the drawings of naked women on the front cover in a mural. yeah, needless to say, the whole thing was awkward.........

  • At Thursday, December 21, 2006 6:51:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    He did NOT get you a tire iron. I so would have hit him with it.

    My MIL has this need to buy me clothes. I really wish she wouldn't. I get some pretty ugly sweaters from her. Every. Year.

  • At Thursday, December 21, 2006 8:13:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    ROFL!! That's quite a list Norman! I definitely can't top that one.

  • At Thursday, December 21, 2006 11:13:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous


    OK, not for Christmas, but for my birthday one year. From my Mom/parents.

    Let me just say, if anyone, ANYONE ever tells you to look for something "shiny but soft" when you are searching through stuff for your present from them, just stop what you are doing and walk away. Seriously.

    It turned out to be a vintage ~1985-87 sweater with metalic threads for accents. Except, you know, it was also from the thrift store and reeked of incense, it was ~11-14 years old (I must have received it in '98), and it was see-through. Completely. -Not only see-though when it was being worn, but so thin that if you just held the thing up to look at it, you could see right through both layers (and probably watch the tv through it). And it had the really baggy arms (remember those?). It looked like something a crack-whore or prostitute might wear (on a bad day).

    Yes, it was that god-awful.

    And my parents truly did not understand when I said they might as well take it back or give it to GoodWill, 'cos there was no way on earth I was EVER going to wear it. Never.

    -On the plus side, my Mom learned to avoid giving me clothing for a few years, and my husband and I still laugh when one of us says "shiny but soft".


  • At Thursday, December 21, 2006 7:48:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    Anon - LOL!!! I would have sprinkled some mold spores in his house!!!!!!! That gift sucks!!!

    Vety - I love books too!!! But...but...maybe that was a strategic purchase?? My hubs told me that ALL men fantasize about women together. ALL of them...

    Tammy - he did TOO get me a tire iron and I was so very angry with him!!! By the time we got around to the third Xmas, and I opened my new monitor, I told him to open his gift from me and it was a Coach purse... SCORE!! See? The gifting yourself thing works both ways.

    Lisa - You can TRY!!! It's not about topping, it's about sharing!!! C'mon!!! What's your worst gift ever??!!

    Anonymous Andrea - holy crap. i HAVE that sweater in my closet!! NO SHIT!!! OMG!!OMG!!OMG!!! I've sooooo go to photograph it and show you!!! OMG!!OMG!!! I'LL PUT THE SUCKER ON AND PHOTO IT!!


  • At Friday, December 22, 2006 4:03:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    Woohoo--you gave the hubs a Coach purse--love it!

    Either I'm having a senior moment or some sort of weird psychological thing where I've blanked out the experience but I truly can't remember any horrible gifts at Christmas time. I guess I trained my two husbands well early on-lol.

  • At Friday, December 22, 2006 4:40:00 AM, Blogger Greg

    Norman I have been with my wife 21 years and she managed once to get me a gift I actually found a use for. Do you know how hard it is to tell the person you love there gift was great when it really sucks.
    I made the mistake of telling her the first couple of years I didn't really like what I received. So then she tried to find that special gift. Well it didn't work. I just gave up and told her the gift were awesome. The last couple of years I have bought my own present and let her wrap it.

  • At Friday, December 22, 2006 7:13:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    Hey, Norman! Love your blog... just found you thru China Doll. Hope you don't mind if I link to you from mine...


    The worst present I ever got was from my mom. It was the book written by Amy Fisher (the one that had the affair with Joey Buddafuco)...

    I looked at it and said "Um, Mom. Why did you get this for me?" She said "I know how much you love Star Wars so I thought you would want to read about the girl that was in it!" She had NO idea that that was CARRIE Fisher!

  • At Friday, December 22, 2006 9:35:00 AM, Blogger Livey

    My ex bought me a strap on.
    That's why he's my ex.
    Top that! LOL

  • At Friday, December 22, 2006 7:24:00 PM, Blogger China Doll

    Ok I have a few:

    This one's not really a bad gift, just funny. My aunt's in-laws, who I never saw very often, but always remembered to give me a Christmas present, would always, always, ALWAYS get me a bath and body set for christmas. I just thought it was sweet of them to remember me. BUt the funny part is, the last like..4 christmas' that they were alive, they got the exact same set for me every year.

    My son's father - for my birthday, he had his mother take him to the Q-mart (a very cheap and dirty flea market near me) and bought the most hideous, white trash outfit you could imagine. Picture this - a white, off the shoulder, puffed sleeve, eyelet lace BELLY shirt - and a blue bandana patterned skirt that could possibly have covered my ass - if I was six! It was completely shiteous.

    I'm lucky enough now to have a boyfriend who puts a nice amount of thought into his gifts. (And manages a jewelery store - CHA CHING!) This Christmas, he got together with my best friend's boyfriend, and they bought us both a spa package for the same day so we could go together and get the massage, scalp thingy and mani-pedi...I'm so psyched!

  • At Saturday, December 23, 2006 9:15:00 PM, Blogger momyblogR

    Merry Christmas to you and yours!!

  • At Monday, December 25, 2006 4:46:00 PM, Anonymous B~C

    My MiL gave me an Epilady. I tried it one time. I have been convinced of her hatred for me ever since!!!

  • At Thursday, January 18, 2007 2:08:00 PM, Anonymous Julie Anne

    Worst Christmas gift I had ever gotten was from my husband. Our first Christmas married, he got me a, hold for it, GIFT CARD. And no it was not our first Christmas as a couple. At that point we had been through three Christmases (sp?) together!!! I was so mad. I gave him the "husbands DO NOT give Gift Cards to their spouses if they EVER wish to sleep in the same bedroom again" lecture.

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