Sunday, April 09, 2006
stupid stupid STUPID

What in God's name possessed me to buy a LOFT bed for my 4 year old son??!!! WHAT made me think that a ladder up one side, with a slide down the other would be a good idea for the child that thinks he is bionic and can leap over things by merely flexing his toes?? WHAT WAS I THINKING??

Not only that. I forgot that the 16 month old is part-monkey and her one mission in life is to climb UP. Doesn't matter what she's trying to climb. Her goal in life is to go UP.

I walked into Ethan's room tonight after we had assembled the indoor jungle gym, to see the baby traipsing up the slide, chortling happily. I got there just as she fell ass over teakettle and managed to stop her right before she clonked her head on the iron bed rails of the now-defunct normal bed. (which were on the floor waiting to be moved to the garage)

I could be the WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD, and tell the people that we got the bed from that it's just not going to work out, and please take it back.... but Ethan is waaaaaaay to in love with his new bed to do that.

Why do I do these things that will just complicate our lives?!! Case in point: "Oh!!! Look hunny!! Cute little puppies!! Let's get one for Ashton... she wants one so bad!" So we got her a puppy for her 5th birthday, which just set the wheels of bad karma in motion. Since we got HER a puppy, we decided after about a year that the puppy was lonely and got ETHAN a beagle boy puppy. Then recently - since we got the OLDER two kids a puppy, we couldn't let Avery feel slighted, and we got her a beagle GIRL puppy. Did we get either of the beagles fixed?? NoooOOoOooOoooooooo!!! Again - my bad idea. I thought "Gee - wouldn't it be neat to have beagle puppies and SELL them?!" So. Now. How the hell am I supposed to let the girl puppy go through one heat cycle without getting jumped by the boy beagle?! I APPARENTLY DID NOT THINK THIS ONE THROUGH EITHER! Because of my "great idea", we've now had to fence in our side yard to isolate the dogs once she goes on the rag. BUT! We bring the dogs in at night (still cold outside at night here)... Our boy beagle is going to go FREAKING INSANE when she's kenneled next to him all night long. So now we'll probably have to separate the kennels across the house, but I think I already know what's going to happen... they'll howl all night long, trying to set up midnight doggy booty calls . Shit.

OK. I'm obviously in a Down-With-Norman mood... I'm going to go find something else to kick myself in the ass with now....

posted by Norman at 8:03 PM | Permalink |


  • At Sunday, April 09, 2006 8:30:00 PM, Blogger Cacti to Cornfields

    heya norm - you can still get both beagles fixed, you know! (unless you really want puppies???)

  • At Sunday, April 09, 2006 8:36:00 PM, Blogger Norman

    Right... we COULD get the dogs fixed BUT!!! (and there's always a BUT, huh?) We got the girl puppy (registered) for free on the condition that the people giving her to us would get her first puppy. They want one of her descendents because they're trying to keep the line going and they fell in love with our boy beagle. He's got a great temperment (unlike me) and beautiful markings. So unless we fork over $300 now (to pay for her), we've got to let her slut it out once with our boy dog - THEN get them fixed. But at least we'll get to sell the rest of the puppies....

  • At Monday, April 10, 2006 7:43:00 AM, Blogger patti_cake

    Norman I can't help but laugh at your insanity in regards to the dogs but you are the worlds coolest Mom for getting him that bed! It is AWESOME!

  • At Monday, April 10, 2006 7:50:00 AM, Blogger Greg the Surly

    It wouldn't be your fault if the bed and the ghost were permanantly lost in an "accidental" fire.

  • At Monday, April 10, 2006 10:11:00 AM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    That would be a kickass bed if I were a kid.

    And the dogs... do it and get it over with. And send me some of the cash for that great advice.

  • At Monday, April 10, 2006 1:49:00 PM, Blogger HotDudi

    I really wish I had something constructive to say...but all I can think is hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I have a feeling that that's not helping...sorry! :-/

  • At Monday, April 10, 2006 4:42:00 PM, Blogger Sandra

    Norman, you are a great mother! I wish all parents would get dogs for their kids. Most think that they will have to look after it so don't do it but it's an awesome experience for a kid.


  • At Monday, April 10, 2006 6:31:00 PM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    My parents got me a dog.

    He got mange and got these gross sores all over his body.

    They put him to sleep.

    Yeah, that was a GREAT experience, Sandra.

  • At Monday, April 10, 2006 7:54:00 PM, Blogger momyblogR

    Man oh MAN, woman! What WERE you thinking with the dog situation, lol!! Too FUNNY!

    The bed, very's the dogs that have me flipped out. :):)

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