What in God's name possessed me to buy a LOFT bed for my 4 year old son??!!! WHAT made me think that a ladder up one side, with a slide down the other would be a good idea for the child that thinks he is bionic and can leap over things by merely flexing his toes?? WHAT WAS I THINKING??

Not only that. I forgot that the 16 month old is part-monkey and her one mission in life is to climb UP. Doesn't matter what she's trying to climb. Her goal in life is to go UP.

I walked into Ethan's room tonight after we had assembled the indoor jungle gym, to see the baby traipsing up the slide, chortling happily. I got there just as she fell ass over teakettle and managed to stop her right before she clonked her head on the iron bed rails of the now-defunct normal bed. (which were on the floor waiting to be moved to the garage)

I could be the WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD, and tell the people that we got the bed from that it's just not going to work out, and please take it back.... but Ethan is waaaaaaay to in love with his new bed to do that.

Why do I do these things that will just complicate our lives?!! Case in point: "Oh!!! Look hunny!! Cute little puppies!! Let's get one for Ashton... she wants one so bad!" So we got her a puppy for her 5th birthday, which just set the wheels of bad karma in motion. Since we got HER a puppy, we decided after about a year that the puppy was lonely and got ETHAN a beagle boy puppy. Then recently - since we got the OLDER two kids a puppy, we couldn't let Avery feel slighted, and we got her a beagle GIRL puppy. Did we get either of the beagles fixed?? NoooOOoOooOoooooooo!!! Again - my bad idea. I thought "Gee - wouldn't it be neat to have beagle puppies and SELL them?!" So. Now. How the hell am I supposed to let the girl puppy go through one heat cycle without getting jumped by the boy beagle?! I APPARENTLY DID NOT THINK THIS ONE THROUGH EITHER! Because of my "great idea", we've now had to fence in our side yard to isolate the dogs once she goes on the rag. BUT! We bring the dogs in at night (still cold outside at night here)... Our boy beagle is going to go FREAKING INSANE when she's kenneled next to him all night long. So now we'll probably have to separate the kennels across the house, but I think I already know what's going to happen... they'll howl all night long, trying to set up midnight doggy booty calls . Shit.

OK. I'm obviously in a Down-With-Norman mood... I'm going to go find something else to kick myself in the ass with now....


STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!