Wednesday, December 27, 2006
What's fat & white & walks down aisles?

Nine years ago, I was five months pregnant and GETTING MARRIED!

although... I kinda lied. I wasn't showing. It was crazy. I was 5 months pregnant, and my family was sooooo worried that my "little indiscretion" would be visible at my wedding. But Ashton cooperated, and my stomach didn't "blossom" until the very next weekend after we got hitched. Very strange. It really freaked a lot of people out. (Including me). I mean - one weekend, I was a size TWO, and getting married. The VERY NEXT WEEKEND, I had people stopping me in the mall going "WOW!! You look like you're about to POP!" Yeah ... complete strangers would actually stop me to tell me that.

So the timing was excellent.

Yep. Nine years. Nine years before the comments of " You gotta big nose.... NOSTRILS! I meant you had BIG NOSTRILS!!!" started. I guess the honeymoon is OVER.

Obviously I'm not over the nose/nostril comment. I'm also putting on the pout whenever I see him and making this big show of covering my nose. He promptly follows me around going "HUNNNNNNYYY!!! I SAID I WAS SOOOOORRRY!!"

So I told him that for our TENTH anniversary, I will expect a LARGE anniversary diamond ring. I made sure that I told him it would be the only thing to make me forgive him for the nose comment. I told him a year in advance so he can start making the payments NOW, and present it to me next year.

I'll let you know next year if I get it.


p.s. I miss you Mike
posted by Norman at 4:31 AM | Permalink |


  • At Tuesday, December 26, 2006 10:40:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

    At least he never mentioned nose hair.

    I kinda feel bad for the guy. On those rare occasions I'm in a relationship, I have the rather disturbing tendency to get backed into a corner by said female ("does this make me look fat?") and default to my journalist personality (listen, objectively consider, and then it's too late). So I've gotten in trouble this way more than once.

    Also, I guess because of when I started reading your blog, I didn't know about your brother. It's a very touching post. I think he must be proud of how your life's come out, though it may not be my place to say.


  • At Wednesday, December 27, 2006 6:03:00 AM, Blogger China Doll

    Hahaha Norm, I was the same way with my son. One Friday night I went to bed a teeny tiny girl, then next morning I couldn't see my feet =/

    And HAHAHAHHA did you notice the ads on your page are suddenly rhinoplasty ads? That's awesome, gotta love that adsense.

    GLad your Christmas was good though!

  • At Wednesday, December 27, 2006 5:42:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

    Happy Anniversary! You totally deserve the big DIAMOND!

  • At Thursday, December 28, 2006 5:15:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    From size 2 to ready to pop? Dang. That's rather impressive. ;)

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