I am Norman

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I'm goin' to jail for sure

Oh yeah. For sure I'm heading to the pokey. All thanks to this little gadget here:

This would be Avery's Christmas present from Santa Claus. Santa thought it would be really fun to see the things that catch the interest of a terroristic three year old. Silly Santa.

See, when Avery opened her gift, there was much jealousy abounding from Ethan and my 4 year old nephew, Michael. They thought the idea of your very own personal camera sounded pretty nifty. So all the kiddos were rumbling around the house taking pictures of anything & everything. No big deal so far. They maxed out the cameras picture storage capability, we deleted all the pictures they had taken so far, (because mostly they took pictures of the toilet) and let them run around with it again.

After awhile, the newness of the camera wore off, and it was set aside for a bit. Then Avery & Ethan rediscovered it and the picture taking extravaganza began. First, Avery paddled downstairs and took the requisite pictures of mommy & daddy. Then quite a few of the cats. After a bit, Ethan enticed her upstairs, and they played quite nicely for the next hour. Or so we thought.

Avery brought us her camera, and told us it was no longer taking pictures. Realizing the memory card was full, I had my hubby download the pictures to the computer. And then the REAL show began. The first few shots were the ones Avery had taken earlier downstairs. Then the shots took a slightly more sinister approach.

After the cute shots of mommy & daddy smiling and waving at their darling child, and after the shots of cat tails (cause the cats run away from flashing objects), we saw.... a butt.

Then we saw another butt. Nekkid of course. After that? A butt, then another. And another. Then came the full frontal monty shots. Of both Avery AND Ethan.

This is unacceptable. We do not live in Arkansas! I didn't raise them to do this! And I promise they are not acting on things they've seen before *gulp* really.

After viewing this, I scrambled to get my husband and make him erase the hard drive. Then I made sure there was NO!WAY! these files would EVER be found during some FBI raid (and why they would be raiding my house, I have no clue but then I'm paranoid like that)

Then we had the discussion about what is appropriate to photograph and what is not. Then the camera went into "Time Out".

So now you know. My kids are practicing for a career in porn. I'm so ashamed.

posted by Norman at 6:44 PM

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8 Comments:

At Wednesday, January 23, 2008 3:58:00 AM, RVVagabond

"they played quite nicely for the next hour". Oh boy, that should have been your first clue!

Camera in "time out". Too funny. But now I know what not to buy our grandkids for Christmas next year. :p
At Wednesday, January 23, 2008 4:47:00 AM, Marni

My kiddos did the same thing -- they love to shock us

I always say if they ever learn to sneak we'll be in trouble. As it stands, they always get caught and we stay out of jail!
At Wednesday, January 23, 2008 8:27:00 AM, Coffeypot

I think is it is so funny that after doing everything that will get them in trouble (and they knew it because they are doing it away from you) the still bring the incriminating evidence to you to get fixed. I would have been too busy laughing, after I beat the shit out of them, to delete the pictures from the hard drive.
At Wednesday, January 23, 2008 12:40:00 PM, Nicki

Dude, the FBI will be able to find those pics. They're freaking amazing when it comes to that. You need to buy a new computer and burn the tainted one.
At Wednesday, January 23, 2008 1:43:00 PM, Anonymous

THat is the funniest thing I've read all month
At Thursday, January 24, 2008 8:32:00 AM, Unknown

Most children (perhaps all) have a natural curiosity about the things and people around them. That's why the next word after learning to say "Mommy" and "Daddy" is "Why?" There hasn't been a turtle turned over or a cat's tail raised that a kid wasn't behind it in rapt inspection. My guess there was more giggles involved than awkward amazement. Still, photographic evidence of such exploration is best left under the catagory of "deleted." Funny...none the less.
At Friday, January 25, 2008 5:27:00 PM, Lisa

As funny as this is (and trust me, I was totally laughing reading it), it's also a very, very sad commentary on our society today. When I was a kid this all would have been looked at as just something kids do as they discover their surroundings and selves. But now... sheesh!

Sad, but very funny!
At Saturday, January 26, 2008 1:18:00 PM, Spicy Cracker

You know I grew up loving cams and taking pictures. Not once as a child did I think... hey I got this polaroid take your pants off... but then again I was an only child. As a free lance photographer now... it cracks me up and it reminds me how much things have changed... Miss ya Norm.