Saturday, May 13, 2006
What's a person to do?
I was going to tell you guys about this yesterday (when it happened), but I figured announcing my daughter's birthday took priority!! By the way - I know I promised some pictures, but the computer's acting wonky, and I can't find our photo drive. Pisser. So I'm having my computer-geek husband check out my computer, and he's got the guts of it all strewn out on the floor. Very scary looking. In case you're wondering, I'm using one of HIS computers... yeah, he builds them for fun. Geek. But I mean that in a nice way (kinda).

Anyway!! On to what happened yesterday!

I was at work and I had to go visit with a guy that's one of the department managers out there. I've never had a whole lot of dealings with this man, so I don't know him very well. So we were standing in his office, trying to deal with a problem that had arisen during a training session I was giving, when it happened: The man cut the cheese right in front of me. It was real ass-flapper. I couldn't believe it. I stopped mid-sentence and just looked at him in shock. He never blushed, he didn't react to it other than to say "Excuse me". So, I quickly decided to act like it was nothing and that people do that in front of me all the time... but in my head I was thinking "Holy Crap! What the Fuck? Shit! I need to hold my breath!" I mean.... DAMN! It was loud, and he just acted like it was nothing. huh.

So I tried to outline the problem that I had gone to see him about, and just act like I hadn't heard a thing. I just wanted to get out of there. So's I could laugh - ya know?

And then he did it again. Louder. I think I wilted. I'm not sure. Oh - yeah, he excused himself again, but I'm in a quandry here. Am I supposed to comment? I mean, say something like "Good One!" or "Damn son!! What did you EAT?? Whew!!"

It was such an awkward situation. It's not like I know this guy or anything... What do people do in situations like this? I was so out of my realm of polite comments that I just muttered something about fixing the problem myself and leaving. As I left his office, he did it again. God...

About 2 hours later, he called me and said he had the fix to my problem. And he's on his way to my office. As he was hanging up the phone, I heard an ominous rumble from the receiver. OH GOD!!

My plan of action? I called him and told him I had to go home, and left...

What else was I supposed to do?
posted by Norman at 10:11 AM | Permalink |


  • At Saturday, May 13, 2006 3:45:00 PM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    I would have said, "Wow. THAT was rude." Then again, maybe he couldn't help it. I've had that happen, too. Some of them suckers just come barrelling out, no matter how tight you clench.

  • At Saturday, May 13, 2006 5:20:00 PM, Blogger pack of 2

    maybe you should get one ready & rip it the next time you are in there....maybe that will stop will have a new fart buddy.

    Either way:)


  • At Saturday, May 13, 2006 8:31:00 PM, Blogger Livey

    You should have said "Excuse me? what did you say?" Or "Hey did you just rip your pants?"

  • At Sunday, May 14, 2006 2:04:00 AM, Blogger Dari

    what did had for breakfast, maybe a dead rat or something...looool

  • At Sunday, May 14, 2006 8:57:00 AM, Blogger Linda and Denny

    Yuck. Just yuck. Once is an accident,twice is an insult. What a no-class ass.

  • At Sunday, May 14, 2006 9:30:00 AM, Blogger Cacti to Cornfields

    I like Livey's retort for asking the guy if he just ripped his pants. Or, you could ask him if he forgot to take his Beano.

    Happy Mother's Day, Norm!

  • At Sunday, May 14, 2006 10:51:00 AM, Blogger warcrygirl

    One word: Beano. Maybe a bottle of that slipped onto his desk will give him the hint?

    Happy Mother's Day!

  • At Sunday, May 14, 2006 1:36:00 PM, Blogger HotDudi

    I'd have just laughed my ass off...probably so loud that everyone within a 10 mile radius would have heard!!!!

    How rude!! Loooooooooool

  • At Sunday, May 14, 2006 1:51:00 PM, Blogger Hot Biscuit

    I work in a cube farm and an older lady was walking about 5 feet in front of me. I see her stop and rip a big one. I couldn't believe it! The bad thing is I had to keep walking without letting on that I heard it and I had to walk right through it! The funniest thing is when she noticed I was behind her she wafted her had behind that was going to help. I got back to my desk and couldn't stop laughing.

    Happy Mothers Day!

  • At Monday, May 15, 2006 11:10:00 AM, Blogger patti_cake

    You are a stronger woman than me,Norm. I would have laughed until I pissed myself. Then fled his office like the big goof that I am.

  • At Monday, May 15, 2006 9:22:00 PM, Blogger Undone Lady

    First time reader here...and I am laughing so hard I can barely type this. I would not have been able to hold it together.

  • At Tuesday, May 16, 2006 7:28:00 PM, Blogger Ace

    To expand on Linda and Denny's thought, and paraphrase a quote: Once is an accident, twice is an insult, third time is enemy action!

    I was once interviewing this nice elderly gentleman (I'm a journalist, but this was in college) and as I was leaving, we're chatting on his porch and he just lets rip what remains to this day the longest fart I have ever heard. I mean it was a motorboat job that went on and on and on. And he kept on talking like nothing happened, and there I stand, 20 years old, just trying not to break into a grin, much less fall down laughing (I'm 31 now and cracking up at your post, if that's a clue to my general mind set). Heck, I wanted to shake his hand when he was done. So I feel your pain.

  • At Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:58:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

    Holy Cow! I don' know how the hell you didn't break down in laughter and then ask him ifhe needed to be excused to go to the restroom. That's pretty gross, I think after the first time that I wold HAAVE to say something.

    Sorry but LOL.

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