Monday, July 31, 2006
One of my more Feminine Moments
Hey hey!!

The weekend poll is now closed. And the winner of the little question-poo, was Richard Simmons!! YAAAAAAYY!! So now, next weekend, Richard Simmons will go head-to-head (woohoo!! pun intended!), with SOMEONE ELSE. Be ready! (oh, and Snooze provided us with a link to the Whose Line is it Anyway segment that Richard Simmons was in... go check it out! Thanks Snooze!) oh, and Snooze, I would link to YOU, but you don't make your blog public?

I didn't have a really huge eventful day today. Except...

I was a little late waking up this morning, and in my rush to get dressed - I managed to pull on my hose with one leg backward. AAAAAARRRRGHHHH!! Guys - hopefully you DON'T know how very uncomfortable this is. In the interest of time, (since I was running so late), I decided to wait until I got to work to straighten out. Big Mistake. Having one panty hose leg on backwards should be considered an unconventional method of torture. Mmm'kay? First off, it took me 45 minutes to drive to work today. Then - when I got to work, I had to wait to be let in since today was deemed "100% checks" day, which means we ALL got searched going into the facility. I had to stand in a line of about 30 people while the guards methodically searched our bags and purses. All the while I was shaking my leg trying to (unsuccessfully), make my pantyhose shift around. I think the guy behind me thought I wanted him. Next, I finally got into my office (30 minutes late), and my boss pops in. "Norman, I need you to go to the staff meeting for me today, since I can't make it...." *gulp* Staff meetings at my work are kinda intimidating, if you aren't used to going. ALL the top dogs are there. The big wigs. And I had to hurry up and get in there with my twisted ass pantyhose. I had no time to adjust them since staff was about to start. I was quick-stepping to the building, and was almost there when a stupid FLY flew up my nose. oh dear lord. How the hell am I supposed to daintly GET IT THE FUCK OUT? And I could feel it wiggling around. EWWWWWW!! You'll be glad to know that I made it to the meeting on time, got a frickin' kleenex, got rid of the fly and sat down. With backward pantyhose. Of course it happened to be a meeting where EVERYONE had something they needed/wanted to discuss.

So two hours later I finally got my hose straightened out. And no - my day didn't improve after that.

I'll spare you the rest of the details, but I will say that it did involve me tucking my skirt hem into my hose.

The end.
posted by Norman at 6:57 PM | Permalink |


  • At Monday, July 31, 2006 7:23:00 PM, Blogger Calamity H. Jane

    Your skirt got caught in your hose?
    Eek! I hope you were wearing your skivvies!

  • At Monday, July 31, 2006 8:47:00 PM, Blogger Kim

    Oh Norman! Pantyhose suck! The job I just started entails I dress nice, much much nicer than my version of nice. So while getting ready one day my husband asked why we wear those things? Precisely my question, who invented them and can we torture them?

    As for the hem thing, never happened to me.........YET. Hope tomorrow is better!

  • At Tuesday, August 01, 2006 2:30:00 AM, Blogger BluJewel

    You need a huge hug for just wearing hose. I refuse to wear them unless it's ABSOLUTELY necessary. Fortunately for me, we have a pretty relaxed dress code; therefore, the requirement in damn near non existent. I can share a funny experience with you though. Last month I was out to dinner and had on a tennis skirt of which got stuck in my panties. I came out of the ladies room like that (gasp!). Luckily I caught it before anyone noticed, but I was embarrassed nonetheless.

    Here's hoping your evening was better than your day.

    PS. I added your blog to my fave blog list. (smile)

  • At Tuesday, August 01, 2006 6:00:00 AM, Anonymous Melanie aka:Mom, Librarian, Miss Melanie the Storyteller, wife and dog lover

    Big hug for Norman! That sucks! I too have sworn off pantyhose. I dont care what the situation I wont wear them period.

    Oh and I checked out that link you put in the post and I laughed hysterically! Gotta love Richard LOL

  • At Tuesday, August 01, 2006 10:37:00 AM, Blogger Snooze

    My job is office casual and doesn't require the wearing of pantyhose, but I discovered a European make of stay-up stockings and I would wear those any time. I do have them in a thick version for winter, but the summer sheer sensual ones - mmmmm.

  • At Tuesday, August 01, 2006 1:49:00 PM, Blogger Snooze

    PS I fixed up my profile. Blogger confuses me.

  • At Tuesday, August 01, 2006 4:21:00 PM, Blogger Ace

    I don't think I'd wear pantyhose if I were a girl.

    I had to wear it once for a play (I know, for a straight guy, I spent far too much of my formative years in awkward costumes) and it was an adventure. And very uncomfortable. And I think it was on right, because I got a girl to show me.

  • At Tuesday, August 01, 2006 6:53:00 PM, Blogger Freak Magnet

    Pantyhose is the reason I don't wear dresses. I only wear knee-hi's with my pants and now I wear sandals, so I don't even need that.

    Pantyhose is just another way for The Man to oppress us. DON'T GIVE IN!!!

    BTW, I bet you look fabulous in twisted pantyhose. I wish I was there to help you straighten it out.

    (People are going to start thinking I'm a man, you know. I hope you're happy with that.)

  • At Tuesday, August 01, 2006 8:10:00 PM, Blogger Tammy

    Oh. No. I don't do pantyhose.

    A fly in your nose? Only you, Norm. that is so damn funny.

  • At Wednesday, August 02, 2006 5:00:00 AM, Blogger Norman

    calamity - yeah!! and luckily, I got stopped before I left the vicinity of the ladies room, but I was still uber-embarassed!

    Kim - be careful!!!! And I think I'm going to switch to thigh-high stockings from now on!!

    BluJewel - thanks for the hug!! I got stopped before I left the ladies room too, but someone else told me... not me noticing it!! Thanks for the linkage!

    Melanie aka... - I don't like pantyhose either, and it's worse when it's 100 degrees outside!!

    Snooze - cool! so tell me about the European ones???? and glad you fixed your profile! Now I can snoop around on your blog!

    Ace - you used wearing pantyhose as an excuse to get a girl to help you get dressed?!!!!

    FM - HAHAHHAHAA!!! You started this stalking adventure, not me!! As long as you don't mind people thinking you're a man - ain't no problem for me! LOL

    Tammy - How do you work in a professional office and not do hose?! Lucky - I need the secret! You've never had a fly fly up your nose? damn...

  • At Wednesday, August 02, 2006 7:38:00 PM, Blogger busterize

    Oh geeze, who wears panty hose? In Texas in the heat? Okay, maybe it's just 'cuz I'm retired and wander around in Wranglers. But, I remember when I was running my own business in California and to dress to the teeth. Ugh. And how come my blog ain't on your friends list. Remember me, redstatevoice.blogspot?

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