Thursday, September 13, 2007
Ok. You guys are probably now tired of hearing about "The Spider". This would be the spider that I posted pictures of earlier. The mega-beast that for a while I was scared had plans on my youngest child.

I'm happy to report that the day after posting that picture - the thing took off. Surprisingly - this caused me no small amount of distress....because now...NOW I have no idea where it might be and I'm no longer able to keep tabs on it. You can see how this might bother me. What if the damn thing squeezed into the siding of our house and is even now laying her nasty little eggs for hatching? What if in a few months I have scads of that particular kind of spider scampering through the house? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

My husband was more offended than upset that the thing left. He walked around for a couple days going, "And just WHAT is so wrong with our front porch that it left?? HUH???"

So after finally settling down and numerous forays around the house to see if we could spot it again, I gave up on seeing it and decided that it had moved off into the woods behind our house. Out of sight, out of mind...right? Until - my husband got home.

Now see - you have to understand that my husband is a programmer. And the thing he programs on is a printer. Not just ANY printer, no. This is a GINORMOUS printer. This is a printer that will spit out a billboard-sized picture because it is a billboard printer. And he missed his spider soooooo much - that he printed a picture of it.

Now - luckily - he did not run it full size because honestly - I don't have a billboard sized wall in my house. But the picture he printed is about 5 feet long and 4 feet wide. The spider is now 3 feet big and he's looking for a "suitable place to hang it" I suggested the garage. He suggested the bedroom. I suggested the dumpster, and now the stupid thing is hanging in our pantry. I hate it. I hated it when it was alive and now I hate it when it's BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG.

Go back and look at that picture again peoples. How would YOU feel knowing that a three foot big replica is hanging in your house? I swear our pantry looks like it's owned by the Addams Family.

So that's my news for today. I've got a big ass spider in my pantry, and a husband that won't let me throw it away.

Anyone else want a ginormous picture of a spider?
posted by Norman at 7:11 PM | Permalink |


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