I am Norman

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

HOLY CRAP - IT'S A SHITTY DAY!

Hey Guys!!! What's UUUUP????????? I know I know - I sound awfully chipper for someone who's having a bad day ...hmmmm??

Well it's like this - either cry or laugh - so I'll laugh. AHHAHHAAHAHAAAA!!

See?? Better all ready.

I woke up this morning with a rip-roaring bladder infection. From out of the blue. I had no flippin' clue I had this monster coming on. But I realized I had a bladder infection when I started pissing blood. Yep. Fun times. I called in to work, and told them that I had a small medical emergency (just a "wee" one HAHAHAHAHAHAH) and off to the doctor I went (after prying my hands off the toilet paper roll from where I was clutching it in my pain. PAIN!!!!!!
So - I get to the doctor, and they ask me to pee in a cup. I asked them if they were sure - cause really - they got a full waiting room out there and do they really want me to scare everyone off with my shrieks of pain. But no - they made me pee. And then they insisted on checking my stomach for bruises to make sure that my hubs hadn't been playing "punching bag" with my kidneys because of the amount of blood that appeared. FUN TIMES let me tell you.

So now I'm on Cipro, and AZO and cranberry juice, and I decided what the hey - let's go to work because I sure as hell don't feel like jacking around with the damn ghost in my house. (I refuse to stay home alone). Work wasn't bad - it was the drive home. We NEVER have traffic. Ever. Unless some jackass decides to rob a store, and elude the police by driving the wrong way on the highway, smashing up cars and attempting to carjack another car from a woman with kids at WalMart before getting tackled by 3 men on the side of the highway. Ok. I'm done with my runon sentence now. Needless to say - traffic was waaaaay bad. Which gave me a headache, which has subsequently topped off my day.

And I bought some stuff for my headache. It's called "Head On", but I'm unsure of how to use it.

Do I need to apply it directly to the forehead?
Do I need to apply it directly to the forehead?
Do I need to apply it directly to the forehead?

posted by Norman at 4:24 PM

| Permalink |

10 Comments:

At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 5:45:00 PM, Anonymous

OMG!! I am now peeing in my pants! I HATE those commercials. I literally fell over laughing and laid on the floor for a full minute after I read this post!

And to think, I was going to give you sympathy for the bladder infection! Instead, you made me pee my pants!!

Seriously, I hope you are feeling better. Try to get some rest. That will help a bit.
At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 5:59:00 PM, Anonymous

Apply it directly to your forehead
Apply it directly to your forehead
Apply it directly to your forehead
Apply it directly to your forehead

I hate that commercial but I'm interested to know how it works.

By the way, you haven't said anything more about your move to San Antonio. Did it go through?

Sorry about your bladder infection. I've had them before but not so I'm pissing blood. Hope you feel better soon.

Sandra
At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 6:39:00 PM, Wide Lawns

Norman, please don't get Head On's sister Activ-on. Its instruction is to APPLY DIRECTLY WHERE IT HURTS!

They did not mean your coochie.

I had this chronically and got these cranberry extract capsules at Whole Foods that were like 96 glasses of juice in one pill and it worked!! Never had burning, bloody pee pee again. Ocean Spray wont work. Its all corn syrup, dye and water.

Feel better firecrotch!
At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 7:28:00 PM, Bunny

LOL omg...firecrotch?

Hope you feel better soon Norm.
At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 8:57:00 PM, Norman

Stacie - ewwwww!!! Well - I prolly peed my pants a couple times today. I don't know if I did or not. This type of infection SUCKS!

Sandra - HEHEEE!! You know - I think it worked. Kinda weird, huh? And - my husband just now accepted the job (tonight!) so the guy that's doing the hiring said he'd draft up a formal offer and send it to us in a couple weeks. Time to move!

Wide Lawns - FIRECROTCH?? FIRECROTCH!!?? That's what some people call Lindsay Lohan (or HOhan - whichever fits better)!! And don't worry... I won't apply it directly where it hurts, directly where it hurts, directly where it hurts. GOD! I hate those commercials!!

Hot Biscuit - Oh sure. Egg her on...THANKS. LOL
At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 9:38:00 AM, Nicki

Ah, Jesus. Bladder infections and yeast infections - two things I try to keep meds on hand for just in case. Because when you don't have them, it's murder until you do.

Get better soon, darlin'. We wouldn't want you not to be able to perform your wifely duties. ;-P
At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 10:32:00 AM, Anonymous

Bladder infections SUUUUCCK! Get better soon, Norman, and Wide Lawns is right about those cranberry pills - they work wonders!

Take care of your self, drink lots of cranberry juice and water, and get some rest.
At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 2:43:00 PM, Spicy Cracker

Karma kicking you in the ass... weren't you just telling me on that long ass conversation we had last week you needed to drink more water? Tsk... Tsk... Really I'm sorry you are in pain, if you can stand it I drink water with a little lemon to help clean me out...Good luck.... Mrs. Firecro... er Norm! :)

Ciao
At Thursday, October 19, 2006 5:33:00 AM, Kathy

Hope you feel better soon. Lots of water and cranberry juice. Put a little lime in the juice and it is super yummy!

BTW how is the ghostie???
Try getting some lemongrass or sage and smudge your house. Sometimes that works to get rid of unwanted visitors.
At Thursday, October 19, 2006 12:46:00 PM, Anonymous

i hate hate hate that commercial.

Hope you feel better!:)